saporta beckett

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 20:59:16 GMT

before he can go back to his room and get dressed, though, someone in the apartment asks, "baby, do you want breakfast?"

he knows that voice but it certainly is not william and when he peers over the railing of the staircase, he sees alex gaskarth cracking eggs open in the kitchen.

gabe stares for a moment and then says, "you're wearing my jammie pants."

me? writing again? it's possible.

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 02:28:16 GMT

the way to there
gabe / william, 1065 words

william breathes artistic; the fabric of his very being seeping with thought and splendid imagination that no other creature can create. he is unique, he is different, he is certainly not human, but he is gabe's.

they lie in a tangle of long limbs and elegantly draped dark cotton sheets on the bed. william's hair is falling gently against gabe's face as he presses innocent kisses to his forehead. gabe reaches out and touches william's back but he flinches and laughs at himself. he's still not used to it.

william's wings are a bright contrast to the dark room.

the failing light from the candles cast shadows all around their faces that william traces with his fingertips as gabe closes his eyes and tries to sleep.

in the morning, william will wake gabe up by breaking a mug and spilling coffee on the floor of the kitchen. it won't matter but he'll apologize for being clumsy anyway and gabe will wonder as he always does why william's wings only appear at night.

-

the first time they met was in a book store and gabe was only there to make sure alex and ryland didn't take too long before they had to meet victoria and nate at the studio. william was looking at religious texts and laughing, mumbling to himself that god was nothing like that.

they only exchanged names but gabe knew he was already in love.

"that's why i had to find you again," william tells him over breakfast -- eggs and french toast with extra maple syrup and orange juice. "your name."

"am i anything like him?" gabe asks, curious.

"no, not at all." william enjoys telling stories like this. he likes that there is so much about the world that gabe doesn't know yet, not because he likes holding it over his head, but because he likes sharing. "gabriel doesn't have your sense of humor and he's not as beautiful," he adds, blushing. "but he's a good man, like you are."

-

sometimes gabe wakes up and william is nowhere to be found. sometimes he disappears for days at a time, for weeks, but when he reappears it's as though no time has passed.

"the other day," he says, after a month apart, "when you were singing in the shower, i think it was the most beautiful sound i've ever heard."

all they do is talk. they barely touch because william can't feel it. he feels nothing, not pain nor hunger nor fear. he only hears music in the sunrise and evidently, in gabe's voice.

-

"are my hands soft?" he asks one day and gabe just nods.

"they're very soft."

"well then," william sighs, "what does the rest of my body feel like?"

gabe opens his eyes with a smile on his face, climbs on top of william's body and straddles his hips, closes his eyes again and starts to touch william's chest.

"you're smooth, thin, angled in odd places. your bones always hurt me but i like it, the way your ribs poke into mine and your hips... god, your hips are sharp but delicate at the same time. your legs are too long and your arms are like wet noodles but you're strong." his hands travel down william's body slowly, narrating as he finds all the places he loves. "your toes are cold but the rest of you is warm. your heart is beating so fast."

william closes his eyes and frowns. "i can't feel it," he said softly.

-

they're back in the book store when gabe realizes something.

"bill," he whispers excitedly. "what is he like?"

william smiles in a sad sort of way and whispers back, "he's always smiling, and always listening."

-

explaining it isn't difficult; gabe understands right away.

angels aren't human, they were never human, and so humans can't be angels. but angels can choose to be human if they want to be. it's not hard to wrap his head around, but it's hard to look at william and know that he's thinking about it.

"i'll jump for you," he says confidently. "if you want me to."

gabe kisses him on the mouth even if he can't feel it.

william says, "i'll live for you."

-

gabe has never held on to anything the way he holds on to william.

the wind is whipping around their faces and he has to close his eyes to keep the tiny bits of dust from hurting them but william just smiles. gabe is breathing heavily, unsure of whether or not this is the right thing to do, but william, william is always certain.

he always has faith.

he leans in and presses his lips against gabe's, knows that soon he'll be able to feel it for real, and he lets go.

-

"do that again," he sighs, his breath hitched, his voice low.

gabe pushes his hips forward and smirks. "that?" and william just grins.

the smile on his face feels like it will never leave him. he clings to gabe's skin and fumbles for the sheets to cover them both. the window is half open and it's cold.

"what does it feel like?" gabe asks him quietly, kissing every spot his mouth can find.

william closes his eyes and smiles. he says, "it feels like heaven."

--

love.

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 08:23:53 GMT

let the right one in
gabe / maja, 3828 words (nc17)

i was twelve.

he scribbles the words down in the beat up old notebook he carries with him. the collection of thoughts and accounts that has carried him through seventeen years of life on the road, on the run, is usually kept safe in a faded red bag but he takes it out during quiet times to add to it.

they are in a diner in the middle of some backwater town in the united states and he has to map out the safest way to the cheap motel he found so they can get there before nightfall. he is very good at what he does, having been doing it for so long.

when they were younger, he would tell people they were meeting their parents later, that his father was in the car, his mother was in the bathroom. they were in a rush, he had to buy the tickets. people believed him, and perhaps that is why she chose him, because no one could look at gabriel saporta and think that he was lying. people always assumed the best of him, that he was just a kind little child of twelve or thirteen or fifteen who had grown up too fast because his his father had just passed away and his mother was overwhelmed with the new baby. or whatever lie he told that week.

he is sipping bitter coffee and scribbling in his notebook all with one hand, while she sits across from him daydreaming. he can feel her eyes on him, the way they always are, and her fingers tracing the veins in his wrist keep his other hand occupied.

they do this often.

i was twelve, he writes, and she was the most beautiful girl i had ever seen, but she wasn't a girl.

"should we be going?" she asks quietly, and he simply nods, puts the pen down and finishes his coffee. it is still too hot, burning his throat as it goes down, but he's used to rushing.

gabe leaves money on the table and picks up his things, gathering them in his arms and extending his hand to reach for hers.

people don't stare in this place like they do in other places. the two of them are just passing by and here, no one pays attention to people who are passing by. they stay to themselves, nodding politely as gabe holds the door open and heads for their car. it is parked away from the diner, on the street where the street lights are dim and no one will notice the bags and blankets and general mess in the back seat.

she leans against him as they walk, kissing his shoulder and swinging their hands. for the most part, they are a normal couple. they've been in love for seventeen years, been together for a lifetime, it seems, and they'll be together for the rest of it. for the most part, they are just like everyone else.

when she gets in the car, settling down in the back seat where a makeshift bed will keep her warm, he turns it on immediately and pulls away from their short stop. she is already drifting off to sleep and he will lift her into the room rather than wake her up. she is tired and weak and tonight is his night to take care of her.

it is a difficult task, it is a full time job, but somebody's got to do it.

she will wake up alone in the dark room, covered with blankets, a lingering kiss from his lips on her temple as she stirs. he won't be far away, just back at the diner and he will have walked.

in seventeen years, he cannot count how many people he has killed for her, and to remember each one and write it down would be an arduous and rather unnecessary task. he does what he has to do to keep her safe and he doesn't think twice about it. the first he remembers. he was scared and young and he remembers crying for days afterward but also that she would cry with him and apologize for meeting him. he wouldn't take any of it back, not one bit of it.

when he returns, crawls into bed with her and wraps his arms around her thin frame, he is colder than she is, which is rare.

"maja," he whispers into her ear, kissing her neck and nuzzling against her shoulder. "maja, wake up."

-

he drives during the day, fast as he can without being pulled over for being reckless. he would go slow but he knows she doesn't like it so he speeds, taking back routes and staying away from largely inhabited areas.

after seventeen years together, they are both getting tired. he would very much like to settle down and get a real job, something that he can come home from and enjoy thinking about instead of thinking about all the other crap that goes on in his life. she would like to live in one place longer than a week. they haven't worked all the details out yet, and gabe is sure that something will come up that will make things difficult for them, but this is the road they decided to take and so it's the one they are driving on.

maja was persistent, making phone calls and urging gabe to empty a few accounts so they could buy the house. in the end, he caved, his dreams of a normal life overtaking his need for secrecy. whatever she wanted to do, he would do, only to make her happy.

they have lived in small farms and little houses, once inhabiting an old, abandoned castle in scotland, keeping to themselves and only venturing out once in a while, but this makes sense. their journey to barrow will be long but it will be worth it. once they are there, maja can be herself. with the sun below the horizon for months at a time, she can breathe easy.

gabe drives until the sun fades away and it is safe to stop the car on the side of the road, get out and open the trunk. buried beneath layers of blankets, laying curled up and looking well rested, maja smiles up at him as he helps her out.

they lay on the hood of the car like they often do, staring up at the stars and joking about which ones they know. sometimes gabe is sad and sometimes he can't help but think about the life he would have had if they had never met. tonight he looks at her and sighs, shakes his head just slightly and says, "why do you stay with me?"

they've had this conversation so many times and every time she looks at him with the same sadness in her eyes and smiles, repeating his question to him. "why do you stay with me, gabriel?" after years of moving from country to country, city to small city to smaller city, he is amazed that her accent has remained the same. if anything, that is what calms him down. "i stay because i love you, because i need you, because you are the only person i know in all of the world and the only one i want."

it's the answer she always gives and gabe can't help but roll his eyes.

"look at me," he scoffs, turning his head as she leans into him, on her side now so she can rest her head on his chest. "every day, i grow older and you grow more beautiful."

maja would argue but she knows he is right. the tiny wrinkles beside his eyes that she loves so dearly have gotten more defined, his hands have become more rough and calloused and his body has changed; he is no longer as young as he used to be. still, she loves him, and more and more every day, she desires him. she has made this argument before but it always comes back to the same thing. gabe ages, but she doesn't. she chose to grow with him, to grow older. she willed her body to change as her mind had been changing for so many lonely years, so she could stay with him and love him the way she truly wanted to, and so she did. but as gabe grows older, he ages, and maja simply changes into something more beautiful than words can describe.

her skin is still smooth, her body lean and elegant looking in a simple pair of jeans and gabe's oversized tshirt. she doesn't feel the cold, isn't affected by illness or disease. gabe smokes a pack of cigarettes a day and has a cough to prove it yet not even a sneeze has ever left maja's lips.

she tilts her head up and kisses him on the side of the mouth, a whispered i love you finding his ear.

she loves him more than anything in the world, but he is right. as she ages, he gets old.

if anything is certain, it is that as time goes on, she will continue to be beautiful and he will only resent her for it. maja closes her eyes and listens to his heart beating in his chest, hoping that they will be able to feign normalcy for at least a little while before the ceiling of their house of inevitable pain caves in on them.

-

gabe is still visibly upset when he books a room at some roadside motel. they will stay here for a few days so he can rest for a while -- usually he is nocturnal but driving all day has messed with his sleeping patterns and what little sleep he gets nowadays is interrupted by paranoia that maja isn't safe when the sun rises.

she stays in the car and folds the blankets neatly in the back seat, emptying a week's worth of cigarette cartons and wrappers from random fast food places. when she gets to the room, the door is wide open but she leans against the door frame with her eyebrows raised.

she knows he is upset because he just stands in the middle of the room and stares at her.

"you have to invite me in," she points out, though he already knows.

"and if i don't?" he challenged her, shrugging, his hands behind his back.

maja stares at him, shaking her head and willing herself not to cry, but she is hurt. he has done this before, once when they were children, and he never dared to do it again. she supposes that after all this time, after she forced him to leave a town that he loved and drive across the country just to make her happy, he deserves to act like a 12 year old brat.

maja takes a step forward, gritting her teeth as she does. "if you don't, i'll just come in anyway." gabe looks as though he is going to reach out and touch her but he stops himself. closing the door behind her, maja stands still on the spot, waiting. it's a battle of wills to see who will cave first and she foolishly thinks that the fear in her eyes and her heavy breathing will persuade him to put an end to this but she is mistaken. gabe closes his eyes to avoid having to see it.

he has seen blood before, more blood than he would like to admit, but this is different. he has washed the blood of old men and beautiful women, of little wandering children off his hands and off his clothes, has felt filthy for days and weeks and months, but this is different.

maja bleeds from her mouth, from her pointed nose and her tiny ears. with a shaking voice, she reaches her hand out, blood dripping from her fingernails, and whispers his name.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry," he gasps, falling to his knees in front of her and holding her up. "come in, come in, maja, i'm sorry, i'm so sorry, i'm inviting you in now."

after he makes sure the door is locked, he lifts her to the small bathroom and turns on the tap. she is quiet and he is frantic, checking the temperature even though he is fully aware that the cold does nothing to her. he towers over her and even if sometimes he feels small, she will always kiss his chest and look up at him and forgive whatever he's done. she knows he doesn't mean it, that he's just upset sometimes at things she can't help him with, so she leans forward, her blood seeping into the fabric of his clothes, and closes her eyes. gabe's arms find their way around her tiny frame and as he starts to peel her clothes off, she decides to take his off as well.

a real bath in a real bathtub has been hard to come by during their road trip and both of them would be upset but there is purpose to the hastiness of their actions.

they both wash away the blood, watch the bright red mess swirl down the drain at their feet and only then does maja's smile return to her lips.

they've been together too long to stay angry.

gabe settles against the back of the tub and pulls her against him, her back pressed to his chest as he pushes her hair to the side and kisses her neck.

they fall asleep naked and still wet on the bed, the blinds closed carefully and the covers up over their heads just in case. gabe is able to sleep all day like he usually does and when the moon comes out again, they bask in its light and hold hands as they walk down dark and deserted streets. everyone for miles is safe and in their beds but while the city sleeps, they rule the streets.

-

when they make it into canada, gabe buys a new coat. the cold there is unbearable and for a moment he worries how maja must feel alone in the trunk, but he remembers what he already knows. sometimes he forgets little details of their lives together but all he needs to do is ask -- she remembers everything.

gabe can't remember what he ate for breakfast or what movie they watched on his birthday last year but maja can remember what he was wearing the first time they met and how many times he asked "are you okay" the first time they made love.

she can remember exactly how many freckles he has on his face, having counted them many a time.

what gabe remembers is important, though. he remembers how they met, remembers her sneaking up on him on monkey bars and solving a rubick's cube. he remembers being frightened of her but that being without her scared him more than she ever could.

he could never leave her, not out of some sense of duty or responsibility or because he was scared of what she would do in his absence, but because he was scared of what he would do.

he drives for hours and hours with her in the trunk, listening as carefully as he can to the morse code messages she sends to him. they have their codes, their secret ways of telling each other what is going on. silence is golden, but music means trouble. in daylight, music is the most terrifying thing maja could ever hear. he drives for hours and hours and the silence she hears is beautiful to her ears, the most beautiful sound she could ever hear, second only to the sound of his voice when he calls back, " i love you too."

he stops as soon as the sun is gone, rushing to the trunk of the car to let her out so he can hold her in his arms. he's parked them in a small forest on some winding road and immediately takes advantage of their privacy by puling her in for a passionate kiss. sometimes they get angry, sometimes they get sad, sometimes gabe will drive for hours upon hours without answering her messages and sometimes they won't even speak to each other, but passion is never lost.

in the darkness of the forest, with only the headlights to guide them and their knowledge of each other's bodies, they get reacquainted with what the long road has deprived them of.

maja is flat against the hood of the car with gabe's head on her breasts, his tongue tracing circles in her flesh. she can no longer stay quiet, the gasped moans and whimpers that leave her lips echoing around them as he moves in her, slowly at first but faster and faster as she calls his name. her thighs will hurt in the morning as will the skin at his shoulders where her nails dug into him. gabe has kept all his clothes on and merely let his jeans fall to his knees but she is naked and sprawled out in front of him, both legs hooked around his waist.

he wanted to do this inside of the car but she wanted to scream, wanted him to fuck her as hard as he could and leave her bruised for the next week or so. he pushes his hips forward rapidly, the quick in and out and in even deeper than before causing her back to arch upward and her arms to reach out for him when he straightens up. gabe holds her steady, completely aware of how small she is, how fragile and bendable and breakable.

he has the power to hurt her if he wanted to but he doesn't, he simply wants to please her.

when they have both started to shake and he is thrusting against her holding her down as he fills her completely, maja pulls him close and whispers i love you in the voice gabe loves so much. he isn't done with her, though, even if they have both gotten what they wanted. he quickly dresses himself but makes a wild grab for her dress which causes her to raise an eyebrow curiously. gabe smiles, his grin wide and sneaky, and falls to his knees.

usually maja would fight him on this, demand that it's her turn, but gabe doesn't remember and he doesn't care who's turn it is anyway. he feels the need to make up for being awful to her the other night.

he settles in between her thighs, holding them apart and reaching for her hand which is always waiting for his. gabe doesn't hesitate, he doesn't tease, he doesn't even wait for her to catch her breath. he simply kisses her, places small, innocent kisses against her skin that turn into little licks and his tongue curling as he tastes her. he is eager and she is a whimpering mess, her heels digging into his shoulders as he delves deeper into her, sucking her into his mouth and savoring every moment of it. she is wet and sweet, the combination of spit and bodily fluids running down his chin as she writhes against him.

when maja looks down, she sees the love of her life and a devious grin spread across his lips.

when she looks up, she sees the stars.

-

they pull into another roadside diner so gabe can look over their maps and plans and make sure they are going the right way. the people in canada are nicer than the people who stare at them in england. they don't like maja's pale skin or her hollowed out eyes and they don't like gabe's beat up old back pack and his worn out shoes. here they offer him free refills and ask several times if maja would like something as well.

she is sick, they explain, coffee would upset her stomach. it's the fresh air they want, and a chance to get out of the car. they're visiting relatives.

he scribbles in his notebook in between sips of his coffee and double checking that their route is safe. maja is sitting beside him this time, her legs draped over his lap and her hand playfully scratching his chest. she leans in close and watches his hand move across the page.

his notebook reads, i was twelve and she was the most beautiful girl i had ever seen, but she wasn't a girl. maja ivarrson was and is the most beautiful creature i will ever love.

--

i'm actually not quite sure how i feel about this :(

based on the film, let the right one in. i definitely recommend watching this movie, it is absolutely beautiful in a really fucked up way.

also, i didn't edit. it's very late, i'll do it in the morning.

Sat, 07 Mar 2009 05:02:10 GMT

get me naked 2: electric boogaloo
gabe / william, 3057 words (pg13)

they're the only people on the platform when william admits he hasn't slept in a while. it wasn't hard to figure out -- he showed up in sunglasses out of the blue, with his hood up and his hands buried in his pockets.

gabe's solution to his sudden arrival in new york is to open bottles and finish them, crawl into bed because william claimed to be cold, and fall asleep for six hours.

the steady rise and fall of gabe's chest is what keeps william awake. it should lull him into a peaceful sleep but in his mind, the seconds between each movement are more important. the beating of a heart beneath layers of skin and bone and blood is exciting to him, keeping him thinking. gabe's heart is like thunder, sounding in the distance, loud but deafeningly quiet; his body is like lightning and william is the small spot on the ground which it strikes. he is counting between the lightning and the thunder to see if the storm is coming or going.

it seems imminent that he will hear a crash, but all that happens is gabe rolls over, pulling william's fragile frame with him and they reposition themselves on the bed. stuck between the soft mattress and the soft body above him, all he can do is close his eyes and hope for sleep. it will come eventually, when he least expects it. he only wishes it would happen sooner rather than later.

when gabe wakes up, it's 4 in the morning and he's starving, pulling william up by his arms and going on about some 24 hour noodle place they have to go to before the sun comes up, because it's prettier that way, because all the lanterns in chinatown light the sky with red and gold and make anything in the world seem beautiful.

william didn't get any sleep. gabe may have gotten too much.

"try to get some rest," is what gabe had mumbled, kissing william on the temple and smoothing his hair back, out of his face.

william whispered, "i can't."

gabe, in all his infinite wisdom, being a master of sleep methods, smiled and told him, "count backward from ten."

ten.

the wind from the train makes william sway a little on his feet. thankfully, he just leans further into gabe's body and doesn't fall over, doesn't fall into harm's way or out of gabe's arms, and wouldn't that just be a shame if he did?

he is still not entirely sure what it is they're doing, but he goes with it anyway. they've kissed before, but not like this. something is different, but then, if he really thinks about it, something's been different for a while.

there's nothing friendly about this, not like their drunken nights at angels and kings, or their jokes in front of fans. there is complete wanton desire pulsing through his veins and a terrified feeling in the pit of his stomach that everything will change.

still, gabe is kissing him back, and that's something.

he is still not entirely sure what any of this means, but he has an idea. things may be blurry, they may be scattered but he's working through it.

he is still not entirely sure what brought him here in the first place. he has other friends in new york, other people he could have bothered in the middle of the night, but he chose gabe. his feet found their way to his front door the way they always do, the way his hands have found their way to gabe's face, his tongue into gabe's mouth. the way his heart has found its way into gabe's hands, bloody and still beating and completely forfeit.

nine.

"we're not just friends, gabe," he explains in a small voice. somewhere in the distance he thinks he may hear a train, but that could just be wishful thinking. all he wants now is to escape the cold and escape the look that he is receiving as gabe stands up and walks a few steps, stops and furrows his eyebrows.

he knits them together like he's deep in thought and says, "we're not just friends, william. we're best friends."

it's not that different in bill's mind, but obviously there is some distinction between gabe's other friends and william and that offers him some comfort. it's nice to know that he doesn't act the same way with everyone. as childish as it may seem, william just wants to feel special, just wants to know that he is somehow more important or important at all.

but he has to argue this.

"do you really think best friends act the way we act with each other? people who are just best friends?" he is fully aware of the slur in his voice and the spinning room, but he ignores it all and speaks. "do you really think people do the things we do and just call themselves friends?"

after a moment that feels like forever, gabe says, "no. we're so much more than that." william is acutely aware of how close they are. if he reaches out, his hand will hit gabe's chest, if he leans forward, his lips will find gabe's chin and if he breathes, he will breathe in gabe himself.

before he can think, gabe smiles at him, and they both lean in.

eight.

"tell me," gabe asks, "if you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?"

it takes him a moment to realize what william is actually doing, standing there, staring at his feet and slowly spinning around to take in the surroundings. he looks like a crazy person and it's making gabe dizzy. he says, "right here's looking pretty good."

he laughs, more of an under breath chuckle if anything, and continues looking around. there are movie posters and trash and he's pretty sure it's not the alcohol or lack of sleep but he definitely saw something furry crawling along the tracks. he'd throw up, but he's already done that enough tonight.

"why don't you sleep?" gabe asks suddenly. "why haven't you slept?" he's still sitting on the floor where william left him a few minutes ago, looking oddly serious. bill starts to speak but is interrupted. "it's such a simple question, bill. why haven't you slept? what have you been thinking of?"

"honestly?" william cringes, scrunching up his nose and sighing. "i've been thinking of you."

seven.

their train should have been there by now and bill is starting to get nervous, starting to get scared. gabe, he just starts to sing: "outside the five sounds like the ocean; relax, don't keep your eyes open."

"gabe?" william sighs, looking over at him. "gabe what are you saying?"

as though on cue, he finishes the lyric, wrong as it may be, ("don't say no to pills, ativan won't kill.") swaying on the spot and keeping his eyes closed until he gives up and simply sits down. william would be concerned, but he's used to this kind of behavior from his friend. there hasn't been a day since they met that william hasn't wondered about the stability of gabe saporta's mind. it's a downright mystery to him and everyone else who encounters gabe, but it's something of a comfort that as crazy as william may think he is, gabe will always be crazier.

"i haven't slept in a while," he says, even though he knows gabe will ask why, and he knows he will be forced to answer.

across from him, sitting slumped against the platform wall with his feet stretched out, gabe shrugs and opens his eyes for a moment before closing them again.

maybe it's the drugs that have slowed his response time tonight. bill didn't keep count of how many pills he took or which ones he mixed together; he was far too busy forgetting how many glasses they poured, how many bottles they finished. instead of dwelling on something that doesn't matter right now, william just sighs and waits for the train.

six.

if he didn't know better, he would think this is a bad idea. as life and alcoholism would have it, william has no idea what is a good idea and what is a bad idea at this point. he wishes for some sort of guidance, looks for it in his giggling counterpart and only receives a tug in the opposite direction.

they are staggering down to the end of the platform, for what reason, william still doesn't know but gabe looks as though he may have some sort of plan. checking his watch, he nods his head determinately and sets off quickly. it's possible they are pressed for time, but when they get there, he stands completely still and smiles.

"this is where we met," he remembers fondly, but william doesn't care how much he's had to drink tonight, he's wrong.

"we met at a party, gabe. you were drunk and i had just broken up with--"

"shh," gabe stops him, still staring across at the other platform. "i was just passing through then, and you were heartbroken, so sneaky and heartbroken, taking me back to your place. i remember your mom woke us up in the morning but you shoved me off the bed and she didn't see me. i don't think she ever knew i was there."

william tries again, shaking his head, "but then, this isn't where we met."

"this is where we met the first time you came to new york. do you remember? i saw you there, right there," he points, laughing. "and i called your name, i remembered your name. we met each other up top and i showed you around the city and i fell in love with you."

william's heart finds its way into his throat just as gabe turns to look at him.

"you were my best friend, from that day on."

unable to speak, bill just glances over at gabe's wrist but his best friend pulls away and starts to walk in the opposite direction. "don't look at the clock! william, your brain will never stop."

five.

gabe has to try four metro cards before william is actually able to get through the gate and in the end, he mixes up the good ones with the bad ones so the next time they take the subway, they'll have the same problem. it doesn't seem to phase him after he swipes the cards again and leaps over the gate just to be foolish, looking around to make sure no one saw him.

bill is sure they are alone because he didn't see anyone on their way in and there is no one on the opposite platform either. this makes him a little uneasy, although gabe seems to enjoy the seclusion and privacy, immediately lighting a cigarette and putting it to his lips.

he gets bored of it after a quick minute and flings it aside where it hits the wall. william is certain he can hear it echo as it falls to the floor.

"we're all alone," he points out.

nodding, gabe grabs his hand and starts walking.

four.

it doesn't take them long to get to the subway station, considering it's right around the corner from gabe's apartment. it does, however, take them a while to get to the elevator.

william forgets his shoes, which isn't as bad as gabe forgetting his keys and both of them forgetting their jackets. it's cold outside and not the cold that allows you to wear a zipped up hoodie or a scarf, the kind that seeps into your skin and makes it difficult to breathe. it's been a rough winter and they're both looking forward to spring.

william is looking forward to turning around and going back to the apartment.

when they get outside, the cold freezes his lungs, makes it so hard to breathe that he clutches at gabe's sleeve and whimpers. gabe kisses him on the cheek and pulls him forward, looking as though he's walking through a tropical paradise.

they are both bundled right up but william seems to be the only one of them who feels the cold right down to his bones. he rubs his hands together and practically runs down the stairs to the station, passing gabe who laughs as he hurries to keep up.

when they get there, bill wonders if gabe remembered to bring metro cards.

three.

gabe takes demerol, he chews on percocet like it's candy and swallows oxycotin with a graceful ease that william can't possibly understand. he has loose little vicodin pills in his pockets, red and blue tuenols, lipstick red seconols. william watches his eyes flutter open and close again as though he's tired, but he's not; he'll be up all night. he reaches out and touches gabe at the nape of his neck, wondering if he'll feel it. from the way gabe grins, leaning into the touch and opening his eyes to offer an even brighter smile to bill, he definitely feels it and william is glad.

what fun is life if you go through it numb?

looking at the blinking clock on the night stand, william rolls his eyes and lets out a low groan. it's almost 4 in the morning and he still hasn't slept a wink. everything on his body is hot and sticky -- a definite contrast to the way he felt when he got here -- and he definitely needs a shower.

as though gabe can feel his mind moving in the space beside him, he sits up and glances out of the window.

"we gotta go," he says enthusiastically, getting up and grabbing bill by the arms so he can be subjected to the madness in gabe saporta's head. suddenly william is cold again, and he grabs for the blankets in a feeble attempt to keep the warmth that disappears when gabe leaves the bed.

"why? where? why are you doing this?" bill asks, whining, wrapping his arms around gabe's body and frowning.

"we're going to chinatown," he replies, "we're gonna light up the sky."

two.

"come on," gabe offers, helping william off of the couch and taking the bottle from him. he isn't surprised when gabe reaches for the buttons on his shirt as well, even though this is possibly the opposite of what would help him in his quest for warmth. still, he nods, letting his shirt fall off of his shoulders and deciding that if he has to be cold, then so does gabe.

they lose articles of clothing along the way. a shoe here, a sock there, a belt hastily pulled off and discarded before they even make it to the hallway.

they're at the bedroom door in less than a minute, william kicking off his jeans as gabe kisses his shoulders and turns him around so they are facing each other, kissing him hard on the mouth before pushing him down on the bed. it's been a while and the sheets feel different, but then, so does gabe. he feels softer, less defined, and thin at the same time. they haven't seen each other since the week gabe had his surgery even though they've spoken every day since.

the only heat he can feel is coming from gabe, radiating off of him and surrounding them both. bill wraps the blankets around their bodies and pulls them closer together, pulls gabe flat on top of him and waits.

even if the room is spinning and his head isn't in the right place (he's sure that gabe's head would be wandering around the streets of new york if it wasn't attached), even if everything is moving too fast for him to keep up with, william knows they'll have as much time as they need to get reacquainted.

they always do.

one.

william says, "i'm cold."

--

not sure if this is canon, fandom or something i heard in roleplay, but apparently, get me naked 2: electric boogaloo by minus the bear is travis mccoy's favorite song. also, i really appreciated one of the we_are_cities promps: the part that says, "and nothing else is quite the same."

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 15:55:14 GMT

amphitheater
gabe saporta / william beckett, 210 words

gabe realizes he's in love with william when they're on stage one day.

it's not a particularly beautiful day or even a spectacular set. paul wall comes out to do the rap on snakes on a plane, victoria bumps into alex and almost lose her balance, nate breaks a few drumsticks. william's hair whips around his face when the wind picks up and he starts to sing the chorus.

that's the thing about playing an amphitheater: sometimes the sun shines down on you and the crowd glows effervescent like fairy lights on a christmas tree, and sometimes you get dust particles in your eyes and have to stop goofing off long enough to rub at them and almost miss your cue for the second verse.

gabe realizes he's in love with william when they're on stage one day, bill belting out one last "goodbye" while he blinks furiously.

he opens his eyes to a blurry world, all motion and no consistency, just sound and touch and ryland patting him on the back. his eyes focus and all he can see is william beckett and the smile that is slowly creeping to his lips.

--

found this in a notebook! let's hope this sucker has a few more gems.

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 11:50:15 GMT

my favorite book
gabe saporta / william beckett, 1053 words

people don't believe it, and most actually laugh when they discover it, but gabriel saporta is something of a book worm. one could explain that he has a thing with literature, but it would be a horrible understatement.

he has a passion for words, has engaged in many a torrid affair with the sentences and stanzas laid out on a page. he has an obsession, a deep seeded infatuation with justified blocks of type bound together on thin, worn paper. he treats books more carefully than he treats anything else; thumbs through pages with a gentle caress as though he is sifting through sheets of silk.

william discovers his secret while he is reading dante and doesn't think anything of it, really. he assumes it's one of alex's books or ryland's or anyone else's and gabe was just bored, going through it to see how many dirty words he could find. william reads, but he has more of a book exchange with ryan ross than a selection of actual material. ryan recommends tropic of cancer and choke and while those are good reads, they're nowhere on the same level as the books gabe reads while tucked away in his bunk, hiding from the world and avoiding having to go outside and partake in actual conversations with real people.

"no one is as interesting as my characters," he says affectionately and william would be offended but after repeatedly staring at gabe for a straight week and asking, incredulously, "you read!?" he'd rather not offend his friend at the moment.

instead, he crawls into the cramped bunk and tells gabe to scoot over and read out loud, because if his characters are more interesting than he is, he'd like to at least meet the competition.

gabe reads him the little prince and the picture of dorian gray over a series of sleepy days. they take turns yawning through ulysses and frankenstein, and whispering every beautifully written word in a big book of byron's poems. they don't see much of the sun or much of anyone else. william is as immersed in the fiction as gabriel is and together they explore worlds far more exciting than their own.

it's hard not to fall for literature and as gabe pulls another book close to his nose and inhales deeply, imagining that the pages are faded and torn and not brand new and bought in a store on the side of the road because he forgot his copy at home, william can't help but feel his own infatuation taking over, consuming his every thought.

he thinks about the books all day when he is busy, thinks about when they'll be able to read again. he dreams of how they will end and who will be happy. he sighs little happy sighs and bites his bottom lip when something doesn't go the way he thought it would and he clutches at gabe's shirt and laughs at himself when they read something frightening or exciting or heartwarming to a certain degree.

"they remind me of you," gabe whispers one night after he tucks page one hundred and fifty two down. the last line ("yes; that was the man he wanted") gave bill shivers and he snuggled up close to gabe's neck as they pulled the blankets up over their bare chests to battle the cold seeping into the bus from an open window. william should have been on his own bus, but they were already driving an hour ago when he suggested they end their reading and gabe shook his head, stating that it was just getting good.

william breathes hot against gabe's neck and asks, "who does?" even though he thinks he might already know the answer to his question.

"the flower," gabe explains, tucking the book under his pillow and wrapping his arms around the jagged bones under william's hips. "the little prince's rose. she reminds me of you and the way you cough for attention. and his fox, not because he had to be tamed or because he was sad when the prince had to leave him, but because he truly was the only fox in the world. for the prince, at least."

william leans up onto his elbow and smiles. "you remind me of dorian." gabe scoffs but william nudges him in the rib and scowls. "not your vanity, it's not really about you. i mean the way basil saw him-- really saw him-- and the way harry was so eager to know him." he nods, grinning at gabe and nudges him again, expecting him to say something in return.

instead gabe just laughs, leans up and presses his lips against william's. he closes his eyes and falls back onto the pillows with a smile creeping to the corners of his mouth.

gabe thinks, there might be something he treats better than he treats his books. his fingers find william's hair in the dark, running through locks that are soft and weightless though misleadingly dark and framed too close around his face. wiliam's skin is smooth, like the pages of something unread, something that's too high up on a shelf to reach. as he shifts down to get more comfortable, however, his skin reacts to gabe's like an old friend, a story that was just waiting to be spotted again amongst the new books. his palm against gabe's chest is rough, akin to his favorite tales, the ones so worn the pages are falling out.

gabe thinks, william beckett may be his favorite character of all time. william may be his favorite book.

--

i get yelled at when i write these two, as innocent as it may be. i am being a rebel :)

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 07:21:55 GMT

everything i once had
gabe saporta / william beckett, 3096 words

"what's your name?" the guy asks and gabe just blinks at him, incredulous. there isn't anyone he recognizes in the room even though the place hasn't changed one bit since the last time he was here. he runs his fingers along the worn wood of the dining room table and smiles at the way it is still unexplainably soft though the grain is scratched in too many places to count.

the floorboards creak as he walks around the guy to the mantle piece and takes a look at the pictures. it's been years but they are still the same, as though time doesn't exist. gabe's elbow brushes the curtains and he stops, recalling the day when he helped put them up, complaining that purple would have gone better with his hoodie even if it didn't match the walls.

it's as though the apartment is speaking to him, welcoming him home, but most of it doesn't recognize him in a black button up shirt and straight black jeans. over time, the colour in his life slowly faded and now he is left with dull shades and neutral tones and maybe he'd blend into the crowd for once, but tonight he wants to be seen.

"what's your name?" the guy asks again, but someone else answers.

"gabe."

he doesn't need to look to know that it's william, and he almost doesn't want to because he's not sure what he'll see. it's been years and the image of his friend is still in the back of his mind from last time they saw each other.

back then, william's hair was short but growing out and gabe would tug on it and run away laughing. his face was still boyish but he was grown up in so many ways. he wore those glasses, those dork glasses that matched gabe's, and looked so intellectual and wise talking about a new album.

he's brought back to the moment by a hand on his chest; the random guy slapping one of those stickers onto his shirt. hello! my name is gabe. hello! my name is awkward. hello! my name is ex boyfriend, standing between the love of his life and the person who is presumably the new boyfriend, considering he is in charge of labeling the guests and was the one who opened the door and welcomed gabe to the party. he's not even sure what they are celebrating, maybe it's an anniversary or an engagement or the death of gabe saporta's chances of getting laid tonight.

(he tells himself this in his head, though honestly, he had no ill intentions about coming here.)

nameless new boyfriend guy shifts awkwardly in the corner. maybe he knows who gabe is, maybe he doesn't, but it doesn't stop william from walking the short distance between them and wrapping his arms around gabe's shoulders, standing on his toes and immediately taking a deep breath as though he is trying to breathe all of him in before he leaves.

nameless new boyfriend guy is distracted by some friends and some wine in tall glasses so gabe takes it as an opportunity to get tangled up in bill's embrace, kiss his hair and allow his hands to wander over the stiff fabric clinging to his back. he leans in close and whispers, "i love you, and i miss you," because really, what else is there to say?

even if he thinks real hard about it, he can't remember when they stopped talking, and it makes him feel like an asshole. they barely saw each other after australia, after japan. their schedules kept clashing. gabe's studio time got in the way of william's tour around the world; william's promotional stuff took him to cities on the other side of the country, of the world.

it wasn't working anymore and after a year of it, gabe was getting weary of the late night phone calls and the meek voice on the other end that he was too used to sounding lively and excited. he hated seeing bill's sad face in interviews and during shows and knowing that his absence was the reason behind it all.

they broke up over the phone and it wasn't a big deal at the time. william expressed that he was sick of being jet lagged for a quickie and a few kind words and gabe agreed that they didn't need each other like that to still be together. they had been friends for years already, and they were good friends before they were boyfriends. they ended it on those terms, laughing about hooking up whenever they ran into one another and promising to call the next day to talk about bill's show, gabe's ideas for album art and what they'd get pete for his birthday.

but still, gabe knew that they wouldn't last for very long without each other. he had gotten used to seeing william's face on his pillow, however infrequently it happened. he had learned to be quieter to spare his boyfriend's ears and william had learned that utilizing an indoor voice was useless. gabe missed the feel of bill's skin against his, missed the way his hair looked matted down to his forehead, missed the curve of his lips when he smiled and whispered he wanted more.

but it wasn't working and they both knew that it wouldn't as long as they were touring the way they were. gabe was scheduled for another warped tour and william was going back to australia and neither one of them could handle the distance.

he drove for miles one day before bill took off for the land down under, across state lines, all night without stopping so he could pull him into his arms and say goodbye properly.

if there is any way to say goodbye, it's the way they did.

standing here in william's crowded dining room, feeling like a stranger to a home he once called his own while nameless new boyfriend guy explains to friends that he's just visiting, all gabe can think about is the crash of their hips together. he can't help letting his mind wander, recalling that night and the way he held bill close and whispered he loved him over and over in a small voice that didn't belong to him.

he knows it was his fault, their slow but inevitable falling out. he may have said farewell with the sheets thrown off and their sweat intermingling but he never really wanted to go. william let him and some part of him resented the other man for giving up so easily.

from then on, gabe didn't hesitate to mention all the girls he had met, all the conquests and adventures he was having. he talked william's ear off about it all and failed to realize the silence on the other end, only interrupted by unenthusiastic laughter. he was trying not to care, trying to push william away for letting him go so far, and in the meantime, he was breaking both their hearts.

"hey," william whispers, pulling away from gabe and allowing his hands to wonder up and touch the lines of his face. gabe finally gets a moment to take william's appearance in. his hair isn't as long as it once was, but it touches his shoulders and frames his face nicely. he's dressed smartly in a buttoned up t-shirt and light jeans, a chain around his neck and a ring on his finger. it's not on the right finger so gabe breathes easy. he is smiling sadly, his lips curved slightly higher on the right side and his crooked teeth visible under pink lips. he is a little thinner than the last time gabe saw him, but his body still fits so well against his own, as though it was meant to rest there.

he looks the way he did when gabe fell in love with him.

"i shouldn't be here," gabe says, suddenly. he pulls away reluctantly, his hands lingering on william's waist and his eyes moving down, caught by the silver of his necklace and the dip of his clavicle, the pale skin on his chest under his shirt. he realizes now that this isn't the time or the place.

admittedly, he avoided chicago after he realized they had stopped talking. he kept forgetting to call william, caught up in a different city or a different girl, and after leaving annoyed message after annoyed message on his machine to pick up the phone, william stopped trying. gabe didn't want to own up to what he had done so he buried himself in work and tried to forget about the way william said his name in the morning: softly against his ear to wake him up.

it's been years and neither one of them is touring anymore. william's been writing for other bands, doing promotion for fueled by ramen with carden and managing sisky's new band. gabe's making his name producing, still going to ivy leage shows and keeping busy since he's taken over full responsibility of angels and kings. still, it's different. he thought for sure they would find their way back to each other when their lives slowed down and they could be in the same place at the same time, but neither one of them made the first move. it's been years and now all he has are memories are regrets from the life he used to live and a purple hoodie hung in the back of his closet that william scribbled 'i love you' on with a little heart and his name in tiny unreadable block letters.

bill starts to say something but gabe just smiles at him, leans over and kisses him softly on the mouth, doesn't care if nameless new boyfriend guy is watching them or not, and tucks a strand of hair behind bill's ear. he smiles, trying not to be affected by the defeat written across william's face and whispers, "see you around, kid," despite knowing that he won't.

he hurries out of the apartment, peeling the sticker off of his chest and crumpling it up. he takes the stairs two at a time, trying not to think of the way william sighed as he took off or the heavy feeling in his chest like his heart is failing him. the cold breeze hits him and fills his lungs but he has to gasp for air for a moment before he can begin to walk down the street.

he doesn't get that far though, because william comes out after him and catches up in the middle of the street. gabe hadn't noticed before that he wasn't wearing shoes even though he should have known. in a room full of people wearing fancy clothes and dress shoes, the girls all in high heels and sipping fine wine and champagne (it's a fucking cocktail party and for the life of him, he's never known william to be entertained for more than five minutes at one of those things), gabe should have known that william beckett would be barefoot.

"where are you going?" he asks, tugging on gabe's sleeve and turning him around.

gabe doesn't hesitate because he doesn't know when he'll get the opportunity to do this again; this feels like the last time they might see each other for another long while and he's glad that bill had the courage to follow him because he certainly didn't have the courage to go back inside. he turns around and holds william at the hip, brings his hand up to the other man's face and kisses him. it isn't sweet like the kiss he gave him inside, it isn't a simple brush of their lips together. gabe kisses him the way he would after a month of missing each others phone calls and randomly seeing each other at a party, the way they would find their way across a crowded room and not care one bit who told them to find a hotel.

his tongue against bill's is the most familiar feeling and as he licks into his ex boyfriend's mouth, he can't help but get caught up in it, allowing his hands to roam free over a thin frame of noodly arms and ribs that stick out too much. they press against his own, william's hips awkwardly angled and digging into his body. though his arms are pinned under gabe's tight hold on him, he isn't protesting. he sucks on gabe's bottom lip, quiet moans escaping his lips and his head tilting to the side to get a better angle, to deepen their kiss and get lost in the moment. gabe is almost afraid they'll get caught, that someone will look out of the window and see them, but william doesn't seem to share the same fears. he grabs at the fabric of gabe's shirt and lets his hands slide under so he can feel gabe's skin against his fingertips.

they only stop so they can breathe, their chests heaving together as gabe pushes hair out of william's eyes and looks at him like he used to. "i miss you," he admits. after so long, he can't help himself. he's wanted to say so many things since he left william's apartment after their night of goodbyes claiming he'd call and taking the long way back to new york to work on an album he ended up hating anyway.

"i miss the way you'd make me breakfast and yell at me when i wanted to eat it in bed, but you'd climb in with me and brush bread crumbs off my chin. i miss the way you kissed my eyelids and cured my insomnia, the way you held my hand when we crossed the street to make sure i wouldn't get hit by cars. i miss the way you feel and the way you taste and the way you closed your eyes when i sang to you; the way we danced in my living room and you hummed along to songs because you didn't know the words. you probably still don't know them, do you? i don't know, i don't know you anymore." he takes a breath and bites his bottom lip, his eyes stinging though he refuses to look away. "i miss making love to you all night and watching you sleep afterwards, smiling to yourself and sighing these great big breaths. god, i miss your skin, the way you kiss me, the way you make me smile. i don't smile anymore." he shakes his head, finally looking down at the space between them, of which there is very little. "i'm not happy, bill, i haven't been happy and here you are, having cocktail parties with some guy i don't know in an apartment that doesn't remember me. here you are, living your life and i am empty and alone."

william looks like he might cry and even if gabe is on the verge of tears, he won't let himself do it. he is already weak and losing control, allowing himself to say things he never thought he would want bill to hear. william makes a noise between a choked laugh and a sigh but gabe just shakes his head.

"i'm sorry," he apologizes in a small, quiet voice. "i shouldn't be doing this, i shouldn't even be here. i just-- i know now that this whole thing is my fault. i'm the one who pushed you away, i'm the one who ruined us. i was the one worth leaving and i'm sorry." he presses another kiss against william's lips and shrugs his shoulders, defeated. "just tell me, tell me one thing before i leave and you'll never have to see me again."

william still looks like he wants to say something important but he nods, at a loss for words at the moment.

"what's his name?" gabe asks quietly. "this guy, this guy that you're in love with, that you're gonna go back to and kiss goodnight and spend the rest of your life with. this guy that better love you with all his heart and more because you deserve it, you deserve everything. what's his name?"

bill shakes his head, sliding his hands up against gabe's chest and sighs. gabe looks down and sees, resting against the harsh bones on william's chest, the black mamba he gave to him on his birthday to match his own gold cobra. he looks up, his eyebrows furrowed, a little confused. william kisses him slowly, his tongue gentle against gabe's mouth, his hands pressed firmly between their beating hearts.

he pulls back and smiles. "his name," william whispers, "his name is gabe saporta."

--

for ourgossip_lips. know that i cried while writing this and that no one should ever listen to far more by the honorary title while writing such intense angst. oh and nameless new boyfriend guy is a roommate, probably straight.

"is this the sound of our demise, or is just the opposite?
i love you and i miss you, what else is there to say?"

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 23:30:19 GMT

a violent yet flammable world
gabe / william, 3539 words (pg13)

at the end of the world, it rains.

william sits on the balcony listening to the steady sound of the thunder rolling. he closes his eyes as flashes of lightning disturb the darkness around him, but he's used to this. it hasn't affected him in two hundred and forty six days and it won't affect him today.

"what are you doing out here?" gabe asks quietly. his voice is barely heard over the loud cracks and bursts of the sky falling down on them, but bill has learned to search for familiar sound among the storm. his eyes open and he looks up, smiling.

"sit with me?" he doesn't have to ask twice. he and gabe have spent most of their days together, curled up in the apartment listening to what's left of the world pass them by. gabe gives him a nod and settles down on the cold floor. it's damp and the tiles are ruined, no longer white and pristine like they were when he moved in. they're chipped in places, broken in others, faded and worn like they've been beaten down for years.

they have good days, and they have bad days.

today seems to be somewhere in between. for the most part, it's just started, but it's hard to keep track of time when the sun is constantly hiding behind rain clouds. the days melt together and william can barely remember if it's tuesday or saturday, the fifth or the eighth. gabe keeps it all written down; someone has to. on good days, he says things like, "it's been raining for a hundred days and my hair still manages to look amazing," to get a laugh out of his boyfriend. on bad days, he says things like, "it won't let up," and they both sit on the balcony with identical frowns on their faces, waiting.

there isn't much to do anymore. nothing works and no one's around. when it started, william stocked up on water and gabe stocked up on cigarettes.

when the television stations were still broadcasting, they sat in the living room holding each other's hands tightly, listening to some woman with too much make up caked on her face describe the events that had occurred. they listened to the details of floods and hurricanes and tornados in parts of the world where that sort of thing just didn't happen. they listened to accounts of looting and murder and watched as the death toll piled up.

gabe slides an arm around william's thin frame-- and boy has he gotten thinner in such a short amount of time; they all have-- and pulls him close, presses a few kisses against his neck and closes his eyes. "i like the way it feels on my toes," he says, stretching his legs out so the water falls down and tickles his feet.

william nods, thinking this day might not be so bad after all. he nudges gabe in the side and says, "they're here."

gabe doesn't say anything, just reaches into his pocket and takes out the small flashlight he's been carrying around since most lights went out. some are still running but for the most part, the water has damaged all major circuits. it makes it difficult to do, well, anything. he passes it over for bill to signal to their friends. it's not a long way up but they'll have to take the stairs. neither one of them wants to move at the moment, but someone needs to open the door and everyone else is still sleeping.

reluctantly, they peel themselves away from the balcony and head to the door to greet their friends. william stops by the linen closet to get towels because everyone will be drenched from head to toe and he knows gabe doesn't like it when people drip all over the carpet.

bill doesn't know whose idea it was to do this here, but he's sort of glad. he likes being the helpful host, putting coats away and making up rooms for people to sleep in. it gives him something to do. most of the people coming will arrive in a few weeks, but everyone that was far away had to make their way over slowly, so they'll be staying. no one was clear on when it would happen but after nearly a year of endless rain and confirmation that nothing will be done to try and rebuild despite the conditions, they've decided to take matters into their own hands.

true to his word, at the end of the world, gabe saporta throws a party.

"jon!" william exclaims, throwing his arms around his long time friend, not caring that his clothes will get wet. he and gabe greet ryan, brendon and spencer and help them inside after they've taken off their shoes, wrung out their clothes and toweled off their hair. they've brought a few bags, things they wanted with them from vegas and chicago. gabe and william would have done the same-- visited bill's apartment and collected tokens of his life, but they decided all they needed at the end was each other. romantic and a little vomit worthy, according to pete, but true. they had called up their parents while phones still worked and left messages for all their friends, but in the end, if and when the waters rose too high for them or anyone to cope with, they'd be together and that was all that mattered.

when they decided to have the party, they got word out slowly, passing messages to whoever was going out of town and hearing back weeks later that old friends would show up. pete and patrick were the first to get there, naturally. though the days were dreary and the nights dragged on, the four of them made the time pass quickly, out sloshing around in the streets of new york, exploring what was left of the city.

now the water's risen too high to walk on the sidewalk and the stairs are flooded up to the fourth floor. the broken windows in the apartments below allow access to the stairwell but other than that, there's no getting in or out. gabe is glad that william was so adamant about rationing their food supply, but even more enthusiastic that he doesn't smoke.

it doesn't pour every day, though there is always rainfall. some days you can barely feel it, but it's there, slowly filling up the world. it's the middle of december but like everywhere else, new york is hot and were it not for the rain and the breeze to cool them off, they would be covered in sweat. it's a good thing the sun rarely shines anymore because the humidity alone is slowly killing them.

"it's like being on warped tour," sisky said one day.

the butcher agreed, nodding his head. "like being on warped tour and wearing long sleeves."

"it was fine for us," alex pointed out and ryland, in his button up dress shirt and skinny black jeans just shrugged his shoulders.

william finds jon sitting on the staircase early in the morning, his feet immersed in the water and a cup of bad coffee in his hands. it's a good thing they have so many people passing through lately, bringing them food and clothes and news from other cities. william likes to say he would go crazy without it, but he knows he'd be okay. it is a comfort, a most welcome one, but he would be content to sit and play scrabble with gabe until they drown together.

outside, lightning strikes against the darkened sky and william settles down beside jon. they sit for hours, staring out at the world and what's become of it. through the shards of glass they can see the tops of trees. it's two weeks to the main event and the water levels have risen past another floor. buildings all around have crumbled and jon can't help but wonder when theirs will. will they wake up in the middle of the night to the sounds of breaking beams and shattering glass or will they sleep through it, find each other in some other world and wonder how they got there?

brendon's theory on the afterlife is something like his parent's belief of the degrees of glory. he jokes that they will all reunite in the celestial but gabe and william can't join them because the amount of sex they have will only be tolerated in the telestial.

patrick says, "play-- play uh, classifieds."

william laughs because gabe makes him sing that song every night in bed and they both manage to fuck up the words when they are drunk. he complies, though, because this is all they really have to do. no one can listen to anything new and their supply of batteries is almost nonexistent. ryan curses the day he bought an ipod for its short battery life in a crisis. they might never hear another recorded version of the songs they love so they sing for each other.

unfortunately, the acoustic in bill's hand is ruined. the moisture in the air has warped the wood and the strings don't do what they should. every time he tunes it, it changes pitch mere minutes later. they've learned to laugh at the new sounds and chords created by gentle strumming and to appreciate the rare moments when a song is played perfectly. they sit around in the living room and listen to their lives, wondering vaguely whether they will ever get them back.

they play the entirely of a fever one day, gabe and alex beat-boxing the synthesizers and pete whispering the spoken words in the introduction. they laugh hysterically through the acapella version of while the city sleeps and listen intensely while pete screams out lyrics from infinity on high. for the most part, they sing the songs they wish they had written and make fun of ryan for wanting to start a beatles cover band.

the water reaches ridiculous levels a week before the party.

the floor two beneath theirs is filling up and gabe has been skipping rocks from the window of his ex-neighbours apartment to pass the time. william has been humming the tune to celine dion songs and allowing his touches to linger on gabe's skin because he knows he won't be able to much longer.

when everyone shows up, they only have to walk up one flight of stairs. once again, bill gets to play the host, finding space in closets and arranging snacks and drinks in the dining room. alex has managed to whip them up some pretty impressive hors d'oeuvres but what most people (though not greta and bob because they claim they haven't had food that good for months) are excited about is the goldmine of alcohol that matt, eric and disashi apparently went diving for. travis assures them all he's staying away from it, but it is the end of the world, so no one will blame him if he sneaks a drink or two or ten.

bill isn't sure what time it is or how many drinks he's had but he unfurls himself from tom's hug so he can get back to his conversation with mike and walks over to pete. he's about to make a joke about mikey way and a closet but pete pulls him close and hugs him tightly. it's the same way tom hugged him, like they hadn't seen each other in a while, like things were said a long time ago that don't mean anything now. like this could be the last time they ever get to breathe the same air.

outside the rain is coming down harder than it ever has but they are used to this. it hasn't affected them in two hundred and ninety seven days and it especially won't affect them today. everyone is dancing or talking or eating, drinking, laughing, crying. everyone is happy despite the fact that the world is filling up and they are all about to be swallowed whole by it.

pete says, "thank you." for a moment, william wonders if he is drunk but he doesn't have a drink, just a happy grin on his face and a letter clutched in his hand. "you've given us something," he smiles, his words whispered against william's ear as he stands on his toes, bill leaning down to wrap his arms around his friend's body. "we don't have much anymore but you two have given us a home, at the end of the world, no less. i thought it would be hard to find that, but it's been real easy."

if it were possible for him to form words at the moment, bill would have said thank you as well, instead he just smiles and points to the letter in pete's hand. "what's--" he starts, but pete interrupts him.

"patrick," he starts, and his smile grows wider than bill's ever seen it. "thought it was about time he said a few things."

around midnight, william feels an arm around his waist. he doesn't need to open his eyes (they were slowly closing anyway) to know who it belongs to, and he doesn't need to try and stop the smile from reaching his lips. there was a time when he would pretend that gabe's touches didn't affect him, when he would brush it off and say they were just friends. he doesn't remember when or how he fell in love with gabe saporta, just that it was gradual, over several months or several years and that it filled him up the way the water is filling up new york, that it took over his life. after a while, he started to wonder what his world had been like without it.

gabe pulls him away from the crowd and leads him down the hall that will take them to the master bedroom. unlike the other rooms which will fill with their guests when they decide to end the party, gabe has strictly forbidden anyone to invade his and william's personal area, wanting some much needed uninterrupted time for the two of them.

"i miss you," william sighs, tugging at gabe's shirt and leaning forward to press a few kisses to his boyfriend's lips. "i'll miss you."

gabe frowns, pulling away only to pull the shirt over his body but returns to william's kisses as his hands fumble with the buttons on bill's shirt. "shh," he whispers, "don't talk like that. we're all going out at the same time," he reminds bill, sounding proud of the fact though he is really scared, "and we're going out with one hell of a bang."

he pushes the fabric off of william's shoulders, distracting his bad thoughts with deep kisses; his tongue laps over the skin at bill's bottom lip, pulling it into his mouth and scraping teeth over the pout that is slowly forming. gabe turns him around and kisses his shoulder, paying close attention to the cluster of freckles on his left side, closer to his arm than they are to his neck. he calls the top left section where they are all bunched together his personal island, says that if he could be in any place at any time he would be there, proudly clinging to william beckett's skin.

william falls gracefully onto the bed, smoothing the sheets out under him as he turns on his back and grabs at the air between them, desperately wanting it to disappear. "i love you," he mumbles against gabe's lips. he pulls back and looks serious when he says, "i don't think i've said it enough, i don't think i've done a good job of showing you how much you mean to me."

"you've shown me every day," gabe assures him, holding bill's face in hands that are rough but gentle and caring. gabe kisses him passionately, intent on proving to him that if it were all to end this very second, their love would remain as it is-- deep and intense and unfailing.

bill nods and pulls him close, praying for the first time in a long time that somehow they will live past the night. the storm raging outside seems like it will never end and a few hours ago the apartment below was half full. he can only imagine what it looks like now and whether or not they will wake up with their own floors filling up.

"when the rain stops," gabe whispers into his ear as they lose their jeans and william loses the ability to breathe for a moment. "when the rain stops, i'm gonna marry you, boy. we'll marry in the sun, against the stone of ruined buildings, with the washed out city and the water receding as we say our vows."

he takes a moment to kiss bill's neck but he's pulled away so william can look at him, just look at him and wonder how on earth he got so lucky.

he takes the entire moment in and knows that this is the way he will remember them, always. this will be his last thought: gabe and him, lying in bed with nothing but skin between them and the promise of something bigger than the room they are in, bigger than the city and the state and the whole water world they are barely living in.

when he wakes up, gabe is tugging on his hair and pulling him out of bed though he is not fully awake yet. "i'm naked," he mumbles, but gabe doesn't care.

outside, the sky is no longer dark, the rain is no longer falling. gabe has the window thrown open and there isn't a drop to be seen splashing into the water below. the thunder has stopped completely, it seems, no longer distant and sounding ominous and foreboding. the sounds of the party have died down and bill's not sure if they are all sleeping or if they are pressed against the window staring out into the world.

for the first time in almost a year, william can see the sun. it rises steadily beneath clouds of purple and red and deep oranges, peaks over the treetops and settles in the sky. if he looked over to the right he could see tom snapping pictures as the city brightens up. pete is wrapped up in patrick's arms and staring in awe. greta is enjoying the last of the bruschetta.

he doesn't see them though, but he glances back at the figure behind him, coming up and putting a head on his shoulder. gabe wraps his arms around william's waist, holds him at the hips and kisses his neck. "so," he grins, and bill can feel teeth against his skin. "will you marry me?"

at the end of the world, william beckett smiles.

--

listen to i can barely breathe by manchester orchestra and dusting down the stars by mobile. they both make me think apocalypse, though in completely different ways.

it rains a lot here. i woke up a few days ago to heavy (northern) downpour and i thought the streets would flood and i'd have to find a rowboat and someone willing to paddle for me. the first thing that popped into my mind was this, though. at the moment, there is thunder but no rain and it looks like night despite being early in the morning. a few wednesdays ago it rained for hours and after, the sky lit up red and orange with clouds of bright pink. i saw the biggest rainbow against a backdrop of failing light. it was the most beautiful thing i've ever seen, second only to william beckett and his freckles.

(in other news, i can't believe i wrote a gabe/william fic that is not nc17. O.O how did this happen?!)

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 13:31:42 GMT

let's make this moment a crime
tom conrad / william beckett, 397 words

they see each other at a party.

tom pretends he doesn't see william at first but there is a moment where their eyes meet and he has no choice but to lift his hand and wave. bill gives him a smile in return and that's all it is.

seven days later, tom opens his door and william stumbles into him, smiling the same way and smelling of jacks and vodka and something that might be absinthe. he wraps his arms around tom's neck while they stand in the doorway, not caring about the snowflakes in his freshly cut hair and the way they are melting, dripping down his neck and sliding across his shoulders. he isn't wearing a jacket and when tom lets him in, he shivers as though the apartment's warmth is harsher than the wind outside.

it doesn't take them long to get reacquainted with one another. the walk down to tom's bedroom is short and even in the dark, they know each other so well.

william falls onto the bed and breathes hot against the skin at tom's neck. "i'm drunk," he points out.

tom sighs, stops himself from peeling off william's cold, damp shirt and shakes his head. "alcohol makes you--" he starts, but bill pulls him into another harsh kiss.

"it makes me bold," he states, enunciating his words though they are still slurred and melting together. he presses his lips against tom's and pulls him down so that they are forced together as they gasp for breath. "i don't want anything from you," william admits sadly, his fingers tracing the lines of tom's jaw, his neck and the jutting bones of his clavicle. "i just want every bit of you to want me."

tom closes his eyes and nods, his hands finding their way under the clinging fabric of william's shirt to slowly take it off and toss it into a corner of the room. he can feel bill's heartbeat keeping time with his own under the smooth expanse of skin at his chest.

even in the dark, they know each other so well.

--

for hello_ilu. keeping with the theme.

"there were nights of endless pleasure
it was more than any laws allow"

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 01:11:55 GMT

a little less 16 candles, a little more touch me, 2006
the sacrifice of life; whole new world (interviews)
gabe / william, 4069 words (r)
interview # 1 - ryan and brendon

"the teeth," brendon nods, tonguing them proudly. "yeah it was definitely the teeth."

ryan just shakes his head. "look," he says simply, and though it's kind of rude, brendon understands that he's about to say something good, something intellectual and genuine and something that makes more sense then "the teeth." he says, "i don't think anyone, including myself, knows how many nights i was was awakened by a phone call from pete and forced to listen to his insane rambling about vampire covens and love stories. i felt like i was going out of my mind. he kept me up all night sometimes, going on and on about who would be with who and how everyone met. he has this whole back story, this century old tale of how william and gabe found each other. there are still scenes in his head even if the script is finished, things that will never see the light of day but he'll start smiling, randomly, pull someone off into a corner and tell them about it."

brendon smiles fondly at him and though ryan looks weary and annoyed-- it's been a long day and he's just had to redo a scene three times because of bad lighting-- he is genuine about what he says and we all can see it.

"see," he continues, and now a few more people, some cast members and crew are all standing around listening to what he has to say because it is important and pete would be proud to hear him say all of this, "we are a big family, all of us, and it's nice to know that years down the road we can look back on this and think hey, we created something beautiful together."

he shrugs and a few people walk away with smiles on their faces. brendon puts a hand on his shoulder and nods at him.

"but you do like the teeth, right?" he asks, and ryan shakes his head just slightly.

interview # 2 - one big bro-hang

"we're not chopped liver," jon explains. "we get to look menacing and enjoy the catering all day--"

he gets cut off by the butcher, who is overly excited about the catering and practically yells, "it's really great! you know they got this like, cheese spread and some good veggies--"

"basically this whole thing is one big bro-hang," alex explains, and ryland agrees. he is sipping his fourth cup of tea and leaning on nate who is a little distracted by his hat.

michael nods, "seriously, we just lounge around all day and watch the scenes when we're not filming. it's really cool."

felix smiles at him and says, "i mean, i get locked in a room and yeah, we don't have any lines, but who wants to memorize lines anyway?"

"yeah," tom laughs, "gabe can never remember his and i know william's written his fair few on his hand."

"--and earlier there were cookies and chocolate milk!"

"totally," nate chimes in. "if you think about it, we get to play dress up and hang out with our friends. we don't have to do any of the real work-- like, bill and gabe are sucking dick for hours at a time if pete thinks the scene isn't going right, we don't have to do any of that."

"i made this sandwich, right? cause there was bread and cheese and some pieces of smoked chicken and ham and something that i think was turkey. so i got some tomatoes and cucumbers and someone found mayo for me which was a bonus."

"plus i mean, we get to be in the fight scene, which is pretty epic, considering." spencer nods, ignoring andy completely. "pete didn't even write that part of the script, but we've all been doing some intense training and it's gonna be insane; it's all action and screaming, some green screen stuff for the dissipating bodies and all."

mike looks over at the butcher as he continues to describe his perfect sandwich and shrugs. "we're just, we're not chopped liver."

victoria shrugs, makes a noise that sounds like an agreement, but the boys aren't sure so their attention is all directed to her. "i have lines," she smiles. "i like having lines."

they all scowl, looking slightly dejected, and ryland shakes his head slowly at her. "i hate you," he says.

interview # 3 - audrey and keltie

"i used to do pete's hair," audrey laughs, "and keltie dances."

"we're not special," keltie chimes in. they work seamlessly together: finishing sentences, glancing at each other to silently ask who will finish the thought they are both having. keltie smiles and audrey speaks, audrey laughs and keltie shakes her head because she knows, even if the words aren't being said, that they're on the same page.

"none of us are special--" audrey starts.

keltie nods, finishing her thought. "but we're part of something that 'special' doesn't even begin to describe."

interview # 4 - maja

"what's it like being the villain?" maja smirks, gives a little chuckle and glances at victoria for some kind of assistance. vickyt smiles sympathetically and pats her arm.

"you're not really," she offers, but maja shakes her head and answers the question after she's had a moment to think.

she's not scary, not cruel or austere, though her character is. it's hard to separate the actor from the character, especially with a movie like this, but maja smiles when she speaks and fumbles over the english words she still can't pronounce properly. victoria is chatting away on a sidekick, here for the quick interview before the two girls get lunch. maja had no problem delaying their meal to answer a few questions.

"i think with a story like this, and with characters like gabriel and william who have no boundaries in their life, you need someone to hold them back, to knock them down a few pegs." she nods at her own answer, still working out what to say in her head. "they are limitless, in every aspect of their lives. without me, without conflict, there would be no excitement. sure they would exist, they would party and fuck all day and that's fun but who wants to watch that on a screen?"

we ask about the other vampires, the other covens, and why she let word leak that she had left. it seems like something pete would have filled her in on, and sure enough, she is knowledgeable about the situation.

"well, my character, me, i realized that i wasn't needed." it's simple, the way she says it, but she still elaborates. "it's bittersweet in a way. on one hand, you have these two people that you've loved and nurtured all your life finally growing up and becoming something, being happy with their lives and realizing that they are very happy with everything they have. you should be happy for them but on the other hand, they're growing up without you."

her words are deliberate, enunciated and said with a determination to prove that her character is not evil, not at all. "i think the way pete wrote it is that i was hurt, betrayed but proud of them all at once. my boys became men and even though i wanted to congratulate them, i was bitter that they didn't feel the need to include me in their coming of age party. instead of leaving peacefully, i sent them one last task to test their abilities." she shrugs, thinking of something else to add, but words fail her.

victoria smirks. "yeah, and someone had to be the bitch."

interview # 5 - snow day

"i made a snowman," sisky grins, and just as quickly, his smile fades into a frown. "stupid mike carden destroyed it." he shakes his head at the bad memory and sighs, but then his smile slowly reappears. "but it got caught on film and pete wrote it into the script, so it's all good!"

interview # 6 - travis

"it's like this," he says nonchalantly. "pete wrote a story about vampires. there's sex, there's blood, there's a lot of good humour and the festivals love this shit. we get shit talked cause it's fueled by ramen, right? there's a bartskull in every corner, but it's a good movie. that's all i really have to say." he shrugs and to be fair, we caught him on his way out for the day so we don't want to keep him. "go watch the movie, that's it."

interview # 7 - william

the thing about william beckett is, he rambles. we sort of just let him talk because he wouldn't stop, but what he said was really sweet, so we didn't mind.

"the whole integrity of this story changed midway and you know, i mean, pete could have stopped and said, 'no, i have a plan and i'm sticking with it' you know, but he didn't, he let it take him where it did and i think, i think it turned out really well. cause essentially it's a story about me-- well, my character who is really, you know, it's me but a vampire but okay-- it's a story about family and all the different family dynamics you can achieve in a coven of vampires and the family you make outside of that coven, the people you trust and the people you fall in love with."

he takes a breath and our reporter thinks he may be finished, but it's only a breath and after a day of reciting dialogue, we can't really blame him for wanting to express his own words.

"i know it was supposed to be a love story, like an epic love story, you know, between me and travis, and while that was all great, and i was excited to follow that through because the original script was flawless, you know, it turned into a different kind of love story altogether and now, when i read this script, when i look at these pages and say these words, i can feel where pete is coming from cause all of us are a family, you know? we're a family on set and off set and in character or out of it, we're all completely in love with one another and it's just great, you know. it's really, it's really something."

the pressure of being the main character certainly hasn't hit him. he has it easy, according to cast mates, but even so, he's been working twelve hour days every day since they started and it hasn't taken its toll.

"no way," he laughs. "i would be happy to do this every day, i would." he nods again and this time he's actually finished so we ask one last question. just one.

"no," he laughs, shaking his head. "we're not-- gabe and i have never been together like that, not off set, anyway. i mean, we snuggle, you know." maybe it's just wishful thinking, but we're pretty sure he's turned another shade of bright pink.

interview # 8 - gabe

"i knew you'd come to me for the gossip," gabe snickers, rubbing his palms together. "you guys are sneaky but alright, alright, i'll give you the skinny." he knows what we want and we know what he's good for so this exchange will be pleasant for all involved parties. he begins, thinking for a moment and counting things off on his fingers, laughing to himself as he does.

"okay, one? it's no secret that the panic guys are fucking each other. i'm not sure in what combination, but it happens, a lot. i know that for a fact so if those short little dudes try to mess with you, tell them about the time i caught brendon and ryan in the back of their bus and the fact that jon and spencer weren't phased by it at all." laughing, he takes a sip of water and moves onto the next topic of discussion.

"there have been a lot of shenenigans-- which is a word i use way too frequently after shooting this thing, by the way. i mean, we're pranking people left and right. i mean, patrick spent about four hours in a duct taped trailer cause pete wanted to do some scenes and he didn't want patrick interrupting the flow of creativity or some shit, but it was hysterical. well," he realizes, making a face. "that doesn't really count as gossip does it?"

after a quick confirmation, he starts his list again, muttering to himself as he thinks about it.

"panic guys are fucking each other, pete and patrick, although everyone knows that one, oh!" he shifts in his seat excitedly and looks around to make sure no one's listening. "travie's fucked two of the girls in the cast, and not the ones you think either." he laughs, practically giggles and when we inquire about who the girls are he gasps, shocked. "how the fuck did you know!?"

we have our ways, and our sources, we tell him. he might actually have to think about this for a while to come up with something good, something we don't already know.

"so you know about sisky and the butcher?" he asks. and yes, we know. "alex and ryland's little hookup last week?" we know. "chiz and little nathaniel?" yeah, we've got all the bases covered.

"well i guess i can't be angry or anything. i love my family and we all love each other. it's nice that you know, i wish more people knew." he nods, sipping his water and glancing sideways at william and travis as they practice a scene, an argument.

"what?" he asks, then catches the question again, as though the sound just took it's time getting to his ears. gabe laughs, shaking his head coyly. "no, we're not." he sets the water down, glancing back at william once more. "we're not together." william waves at him from the other side of the room and gabe offers a smile in return. "but i mean, we snuggle."

interview # 9 - well that solves that

travis is showing us around, apologetic that he wasn't able to give us a proper interview before. we understand, everyone is pretty busy around here, and the tour around the set is appreciated.

the manor is a place pete must have paid a lot of money to use, or he knows the right people. we'll bet it was the latter because this house is as gorgeous as it looks on film and every room has a different thing to see, to pay attention to. perhaps travis isn't the right person to be showing us around because he gets distracted at little things and doesn't know details about the architectural stuff. he does, however, offer little interesting tidbits about filming and after all, that's why we're here.

"that's where the butcher fell down and almost busted his head open," he points to the stairs and laughs. "shit, that was intense but we laughed about it later." we walk up and he starts a tour of the bedrooms, which for the most part, are lavish and victorian with a few things sticking out to define characters.

ryan and keltie's room has strange lamps and ballet shoes in a corner of the room, a mandolin and a victrola. maja's has fancy old dresses and more updated styles all over the bed and the armchair. victoria and alex share quarters filled with books and obscure british records, opposed to sisky and the butcher's room which has nineties music and an array of mixed tapes. brendon and audrey's bedroom has gloomy bears.

"oh, alright, this one is the best in my opinion," travis tells us. he mentioned before how much he liked the manor despite not having any screen time here. it was the late night parties that attracted him, and the way you could always get lost even if you had a map of the place in your hands.

he's already shown us the kitchen and it's stock of fruit and vegetables, the basement which includes audrey's laboratory, the storeroom of blood and the cells they kept other vampires in among other things. he revealed that the holy water was just regular water and that it kind of tasted like juice. we didn't ask why or how he knew that. he's showed us the piano in the sitting room and of course, that ended in a song and dance provided by ryan and keltie who were passing through. we have to admit though, the rooms are the most interesting because they show the most about the characters we've all grown to love. he's saved the best for last.

"this is gabe and bill's room, and i don't think there's anything modern in there cause you know, they're livin in the fifteen hundreds or some shit." travis pushes the door open a little bit but immediately pulls it back as quickly as he can, hoping that the quiet click of the door handle didn't make too much noise.

the damage is done, though, and we can't take back what we've seen.

he stumbles over his words and we sort of chuckle, hold hands over our mouths and go over what's happening in the room.

from what we saw, and it's not like there was any time to see much but a tangle of limbs anyway, gabe and william were enjoying the quiet time that post production allows to take advantage of an empty home and an empty bedroom. for the most part, they are quiet and careful, not making too much noise in the event that someone walks by. unfortunately for them, we walked in.

"it's not that big of a surprise," travis admits, looking utterly bewildered. "but they've been denying it forever, we all just-- shit, i don't even know what to say." he laughs and we start walking back downstairs. our tour of the bedroom's has been cut short, but we got a lot more than we bargained for.

before we hit the stairs, however, the door opens and they walk out, not surprised at all to see us. william's hair is a mess and gabe's missed a few button's on his shirt but i suppose they've gotten good at playing it cool.

"hey," william says, walking up and clapping travis on the back. "what are you guys up to?"

we explain about the tour and gabe gets excited, asking us what we've seen so far. we tell him while travis quietly asks william what he and gabe were up to.

"nothing," he shrugs, tucking a strand of hair behind his ears. "running lines, you know. we've got a lot of voice overs to do tomorrow." travis nods, throws us a look and we smile at each other.

interview # 10 - final words

"look, here's the thing--" he explains. he's sitting beside patrick who is immersed in the script, in the revision pete just wrote, waving his hands around excitedly as he speaks to us. "i got bored one day and decided to write a movie script. i wanted all my friends to be in it because real actors are lame and i'd have to pay them."

pete is jittery, exactly the way he wrote himself and we can't help but wonder if this whole thing was just a big metaphor for his life.

"i've done albums, songs are great and all, and i did the book, but i wanted something else. i wanted to write something epic, something beautiful and inspiring, something that would make people feel, you know?" he glances at his friend for some sort of validation to his point but patrick is still reading so pete continues.

"it had to be deep and meaningful but still entertaining and funny cause no one wants to watch a snooze-fest that has no laughs in it. but mainly, and i know this is cheesy and ridiculous and really stupid-- i'm gonna sound so gay when i say this-- mainly i wanted to write an epic love story that made everyone who watched it want to go home and make love to the person they're with, or tell their best friend that they've been in love with them since grade school, or like, hug their mom and dad and express how much they appreciate the family they have. cause that's what this story is about. it's about having a family that you would die for, and risking everything for the person you love. it's about making sacrifices and making yourself happy."

he nods, content with his justification of "the sacrifice of life" but we still have one more question.

"why vampires?" he laughs, and he doesn't even have to think on this one, the answer comes as naturally as breathing. "cause vampires is just a synonym for love that lasts forever."

--

woo! finally! a total of 46 374 words (i had a slight miscalculation before).

read the story first!

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 01:52:25 GMT

a save situation
tom conrad / william beckett, 309 words

william calls tom on his birthday and actually, it's not that awkward.

he does hesitate for a little too long when tom answers, says a cheerful "hello," into the receiver and listens for a reply. he's about to say it again when bill clears his throat on the other end.

"happy birthday, tom-bo."

it's almost as if william can hear him smiling through the phone. "oh," he says. "well," and "thank you, william."

they talk over each other for a moment. rushed, how are you's and laughter followed by more questions and stuttered statements-- "what have you been up to?" "how's the album coming along?" "johnny was asking about you." "this was a surprise."

"it was?" william asks, slightly amused. he probably shouldn't be so shocked that tom didn't expect a call from him. he didn't get one last year, but then, the wounds were still fresh last year and william didn't think it was appropriate. he does a sort of dance around the words he's going to say next, because they are crucial to this moment in time and he wants them to be the right words. "i just--" he starts, and already, he's fucked it up.

there is a laugh on the other end and he thinks this might not have been a good idea. but then, he hears in a distinctly tom conrad sort of way, "i missed you too," and after a moment's pause, "what are you doing right now?"

--

rise of the fall is next. celine.

"there were moments of gold and there were flashes of light
there were things i'd never do again but then they'd always seemed right"

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 10:16:12 GMT

one shot, two shots
tom conrad / william beckett, 576 words

originally, their friendship was instantaneous.

william fell in love with the way tom rolled his eyes at things like people chewing loudly or talking during movies. tom appreciated bill's boldness and ability to feign innocence after throwing popcorn at the loud people.

when they went to parties, they would circulate the room and talk to as many friends as it seemed polite to do but they would always end up in a corner, chatting to each other and making some excuse to sneak out and drive to a random spot on the highway, pull over and continue their conversation on the side of the road with a bottle of jack's and smiles on their faces.

mike would tease william about having a crush and the jokes only got worse when he suggested tom join the band and take over little mike's position. it wasn't love, though, as much as it was a mutual admiration for one another and a longing to see the other succeed. when mike pushed william to try harder, to sing better and write more, tom told him that what he did was more than good enough.

it used to make bill smile.

it used to make tom laugh, the way william's face would turn bright red at a compliment and he would avert his eyes or leave the room altogether, mumbling that he forgot something in the van.

now, their friendship is gradual.

it starts with a message left on an answering machine and continues from there.

there is an email in tom's inbox that reads URGENT but is just a collection of jokes william's kid sister told him that he is passing along. tom returns the email with blond jokes and a short anecdote about he and nick's adventures one drunken night. eventually their machine messages get longer, their emails more detailed and finally, tom picks up the phone and dials william's number at a time he knows he'll actually get an answer and says, "knock knock."

"who's there?" william smirks, unable to avoid the conversation.

"tom conrad, calling to say what's up."

"that's not a knock knock joke," william points out and tom shrugs.

"i know, but you enjoyed it anyway."

their phone bills might be getting ridiculous but william secretly doesn't care because he'd pay any amount asked of him to get tom's friendship back.

it wasn't love that compelled them to be friends in the first place, but he thinks it might be love that drives him to continuously dial the same number, night after night. he thinks it might be love that gives him that butterfly feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever his phone rings and he hears tom's voice on the other end.

he thinks it might be love when tom says, "i took a picture of you once, while you were sleeping. i don't know bill-bo, you looked gorgeous."

"tom-bo," he sighs, bites his bottom lip and doesn't even pretend that he isn't grinning from ear to ear. "you and i both know i wasn't sleeping."

--

it has been entirely too long and i apologize. i feel like a celine dion song.

"it's all coming back
it's all coming back to me now"

Wed, 28 May 2008 07:14:55 GMT

a little less 16 candles, a little more touch me, 2006
the sacrifice of life; nothing is ever what it seems (bloopers)
travis / william, gabe / william, 2895 words (r)
blooper # 1 - sexy?

travis kisses him again and something in the way his lips linger makes william's entire body melt. he's tingling from his toes all the way to his fingertips, eyes closed and his lips curved in a sneaky smile. "travis," william croons, his words getting lost in the quiet moans that escape his lips. "i want you," he breathes, "you are handsome and sexy and i don't know if you can tell but i want you right now, i want to feel you inside me." they kiss desperately, harsh but sweet at the same time, and travis pulls william down, turns them around and laughs.

he says, "damn boy, you sexy too," and smacks william affectionately on his ass.

patrick yells, "excuse me?! cut!" just as william scoffs and hits travis in the arm. "is that in the script? can we stick to the script please?" he groans and tosses the papers in his hand aside, lazily saying, "take seven, and get it right this time, boys."

blooper # 2 - mind reading, like in harry potter

william takes a deep breath and stares at the floor. "i'm sorry," he whispers, then says it again loudly before gabe can claim he hasn't heard. "i'm sorry, i-- i don't know what happened." he starts to walk away, gets up one step before gabe grabs him by the wrist and pulls him back.

"i know what happened, william beckett," gabe shakes his head and narrows his eyes in a particularly comical way. "you were off having sex with that trollop, travis mccoy." william can't help it, he laughs just as patrick yells cut. gabe, however, stays in character, speaking dramatically and throwing his arms up, defeated. "don't think i didn't know!"

blooper # 3 - love at first sight

william lies down beside gabe and kisses the other side of his neck, wraps his arms around him and sighs. gabe turns on his side and pulls william in for a kiss. "you were my first," gabe says, sad but proud at the same time. "i used to-- i used to want it to be the three of us forever, you know? you have no idea how much i love you, william."

it's evident at this point that william's forgotten his line because he just smiles at gabe and starts to shake his head slowly, his eyebrows knitting together in an attempt to remember.

"i knew i had to have you the first time i saw you," gabe says, covering for him. "you were standing on the street corner waiting for your carriage. your bonnet was askew, your hair blowing in the wind. you looked so elegant and graceful. it was love at first sight."

leaning down to kiss him on the mouth, william smiles against gabe's wide grin. "when we do that scene later, i hope you choke on my dick and die."

"well," gabe sighs, kissing him back, (off screen, patrick has resorted to hiding his face in his hands and shaking his head) "at least i'll die happy."

blooper # 4 - thank you gifts

unravelling the ribbon from around the large basket, shaant grins and pulls the tissue paper down. "what the fuck is this?" he asks, quietly, looking up at jeff who shrugs his shoulders. "is this a mother fucking fruit basket?" jeff makes a face and shaant scoffs, "i told that little bitch to get me a cheese platter!"

blooper # 5 - "i'm fucking a vampire!"

travis says, "i'm fuckin a fuckin vampire." william starts to sigh but the act is interrupted by travis flinging himself down on the bed and groaning loudly. "i am fucking a fucking vampire!" he says again, his hands over his face. "this is ridiculous, what the fuck am i gonna do? what if you bite me or some shit, like by accident? you could kill me!" he sits up and grabs william by the shoulders, shaking him. "you drink blood, son, that shit is nasty! who wants to do that?"

william makes a noise something between a "huh?" and a "pete?" and travis sighs again, shaking his head. he stands up and paces the room, hands on head like ryan ross when he's thinking.

"what am i gonna do? i gotta get the fuck out of here, this is some fucked up shit right here. i can't deal with fuckin vampires and gettin bit and who the fuck are maja and gabe then, shit this is too much." travis glances around the room and decides, fuck it, grabs his wallet and keys from the dresser and takes off out of the room.

william sits alone on the bed, torn between surprise and confusion. "was he supposed to react like that?" he asks patrick, who shakes his head and sinks into his seat. it's going to be a long day.

blooper #6 - found out

"i need to use your phone," he says, and darts out of the room before travis even has time to answer. he calls shaant and says, frantically into the phone, "timothy, i need you to pick me up like, now!"

"oh, its not gonna do you any good," shaant sighs. "maja's here already, dude, she says she's gonna kill you."

blooper # 7 - william is dramatic pt. 1

"i'm not going anywhere, you moron." they lie together in silence until ryan can't take it any longer, forces william to open his eyes by scraping his teeth over william's jaw and laughs at the annoyed face he makes. "stop acting like a little bitch," he demands, and bill can't help but laugh.

blooper # 8 - rough sex?

he finally stops, breaks away so he can bite down on his own bottom lip to keep from moaning gabe's name too loud. gabe leans over and kisses him, the taste of his own blood in his mouth now, and before william can demand that gabe fuck him, he's yanking william's pants off with one hand, sliding down on the bed and sucking at the skin below his hip bone.

he glances up at william's writhing body and gets his attention by pinching his side. "if you come on my face i'll fucking bite your dick, i swear."

william laughs, gabe can feel it run all the way through him, and replies, "if you bite my dick, i'll come on your face, and i know you like that so shut up." patrick yells cut but gabe dips his head down and swipes his tongue over william's skin anyway.

blooper # 9 - pete is a freak

at first he keeps his eyes opened, watching william suck on his neck gently, tiny moans caught in his throat, the right parts of his body pressed into the small of pete's back, but then he closes them, tilts his head back and whispers, "don't stop."

william is drinking earnestly, his hands firm on pete's shoulders until pete takes one in his and moves it slowly down his body. "oh yeah," he moans, long and drawn out just as william jerks away from him and starts to laugh. from the bed, gabe is giggling, holding his hand over his mouth to keep himself from making too much noise but the scene is ruined anyway and patrick is shaking his head, not at all amused.

blooper # 10 - maja is a freak too

gabe presses his palm against maja's shoulder, fingers tight around her throat, almost lovingly. "william and i have burned villages to cover your tracks," he says, disgusted with her. "so when i tell you-- and i'm only going to tell you once-- when i tell you that pete is not a problem, you better fucking believe that pete is not a problem."

maja chuckles, bites her bottom lip and winks seductively at gabe. "this is kind of hot," she shrugs, "do you want to meet me later?"

even patrick laughs at that one.

blooper # 11 - girly attire

victoria turns to the side and raises an eyebrow at her profile. she pulls the hem of her dress up over her knees and looks down, but drops it right back down. on the bed, keltie and audrey look at her hopefully but she just turns around and shakes her head. "i look like a whore," she states. "fuck this shit, pete, write it out. i refuse to wear it."

blooper # 12 - william is dramatic pt. 2

"mother fucker stabbed me," he seethes, turns the hot water on and grabs a hand towel, dampening it. he throws the remnants of a once crisp white shirt into the sink violently. "ruined my fucking shirt, fucking circus freaks."

he doesn't even get a chance to continue his rant, because gabe coughs out something that sounds like a laugh and then it erupts. he smacks the counter and shakes his head at william who is now scowling. "i'm sorry," gabe smiles, reaching out to patronizingly tuck a strand of hair behind william's ear. "you're just such a dramatic bitch sometimes."

blooper # 13 - but gabe says everything like a slut

gabe nods at her, opens his mouth to ask a question, but she already knows what it is. "i just talked to ryan," she says, "went down the chain of command since you and william were busy," she smirks, her eyebrows raising.

gabe nudges her in the side and leans in to whisper to her so she hears him over the piano. "you say command like a whore, did you know that?" victoria raises an eyebrow at the smirk creeping to his lips. "you say it like cum-mand."

she just shakes her head and walks away mumbling, "i hope patrick kills you."

blooper # 14 - it has something to do with sex, i'm sure

gabe leans up and kisses him, his tongue gentle on william's lips. he pulls away and smiles, "eugene," he croons, "the world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold." william has already melted in his arms; he is all loose limbs and warm in the best way, his eyes closed and his bottom lip being bitten by crooked teeth. gabe kisses along his jaw and whispers, "i don't know what my line is!"

"that's okay," william shrugs, "forget the line, just fuck me now."

"can anyone stay in character today?!" patrick asks from across the room and william hurries to explain that that was in character, but his efforts are drowned out by gabe's laughter.

blooper # 15 - phone sex

he reaches over and grabs it from the floor, sees brendon's name on the screen and redials his number with a sigh. when brendon answers he is serious for the first time in his life, frantic and running up stairs as he speaks, shouting to spencer about where to put the guns. william smirks into the phone, "hey sexy, what are you wearing?" and brendon chokes on sudden laughter.

blooper # 16 - a little less touch me

brendon sighs heavily and audrey decides now is a good time to speak up. she says, "i love you my little bird. i promise you we will always be okay. somehow, somehow we will be. i will protect you and you will protect me, and everyone within these walls will be there to help."

their noses touch. brendon kisses the corner of audrey's mouth and smiles. "i love you too, killer queen."

the air is no longer circulating the room. now it is still and silent and for the first time in a long time, everyone in the manor is fast asleep. tonight was terrifying. it was strange and surreal and none of them want to admit how dangerous of a situation it could have been. for once they are scared, they are concerned that maybe they aren't as untouchable as they make themselves out to be.

audrey says, quiet and whispered against brendon's lips, "your you know what is touching me."

someone off screen chuckles and someone else sighs.

brendon leans up and kisses her nose. "i know darling, and you have a square vag."

someone off screen that has to be pete guffaws and wheezes on laughter, someone else who sounds as annoyed as patrick yells "cut!" and scoffs, walking off the set. "no one can ever be serious!"

blooper # 17 - are you my friend or enemy?

gabe can feel the thoughts forming in his mind so he kisses him softly, his lips lingering for a moment, his words whispered against ryan's mouth. "ryan, i need you to take care of this family."

"mm," ryan pulls away and smiles at gabe, pressing another kiss to his lips for good measure. "i don't know why pete wrote in all of these kisses between us," he says with an eyebrow quirked slightly.

gabe shrugs, "it's because we're friends."

and ryan agrees, "best friends."

patrick rolls his eyes. "cut!"

blooper # 18 - one day. . .

gabe shrugs his shoulders, he notices a car pull up in the driveway and says, simply, "nothing." she walks up the stairs and he finishes with, "if you don't look at the world."

he looks directly into the camera and lowers his voice, an eyebrow raised. "you know, i didnt know robots could cry yet, what's up with that?"

patrick throws his script at gabe's head and victoria yells back, "i fucking heard that, you ass!"

blooper # 19 - gabe saporta is always dramatic

"i love you too," gabe smiles, and nods, kisses him again for good measure and goes inside before william starts to walk away. he turns back to say, "be back before sunrise, william beckett--"

william actually does start to reply, his line is on the tip of his tongue when gabe hurdles back over him, arms thrown around bill's body tightly. "no!" he yells, whimpering dramatically. "don't leave me! don't go off with him, i need you! who will play with my hair and make me sandwiches and suck my dick when i'm in a bad mood?" pretty much everyone on set starts to laugh because there are no words for this kind of dramatic behaviour. he sinks to his knees in front of william, clutching his shirt and kissing his chest, his bottom lip pushed far out in a childish pout.

"i love you," he mutters, "i love you more than anything in the whole world, william beckett, don't leave me. without you i am nothing." william pats him on the head and shrugs.

blooper # 20 - tattle tale!

"oh sorry," he says, making sure she hasn't spilled anything on herself, or him for that matter. "sorry, i'm so clumsy," he apologizes again but she just rolls her eyes at him.

"ugh," ashlee groans, flicking bits of ice off of her purse. "you spilled my drink you, silly ass!"

gabe gasps, insulted, glances around and spots pete standing beside an annoyed looking patrick, and complains, "pete! ashlee called me a silly ass!"

--

i like to think of the sacrifice of life as a big movie production thought up by pete wentz. he wrote the script and helped direct it with patrick, but was more of a producer and a creative force behind the whole thing rather than a director. somehow they convinced all of their friends to act in it and somehow they convinced themselves that it's not porn because it had more of a plot than that, although we all know they're just kidding themselves.

the series is now 42 325, and after my brain starts working it will finally, seriously be complete (maybe).

continue to interviews but read the story first!

Sun, 04 May 2008 03:42:07 GMT

a little less 16 candles, a little more touch me, 2006
the sacrifice of life; forget what you know (deleted scenes)
travis / william, gabe / william, 8631 words (nc17)
scene # 1 - small talk

"he's not here, eugene. i don't know where he is, but he's not here and you're not going to get him back by staying." gabe opens the door and walks out, leaving william there alone.

"we out of here?" shaant asks, nonchalantly. he doesn't even bother asking him what just happened because he honestly doesn't want to know. what happens between the vampires stays between the vampires, or something like that. they're always so dramatic all the time, he thinks, especially maja, the way she is intrusive and intuitive all at the same time, and fucking crazy.

gabe nods at him and they start to walk to the elevator. shaant glances back to see if william will be joining them any time this century but gabe just shakes his head.

"so, timothy," gabe asks nonchalantly as they wait for the elevator. "are you ever going to tell me how you get your hair like that? i know i can't pull a look like that off, but bill's got the right length for it and i like playing with his hair sometimes, you know, putting it in pigtails and whatnot, it'd be nice to know your secrets."

shaant shakes his head slowly so gabe knows he is serious. "no way, eduardo. it took me years to perfect this look, i'm not telling unless you tell me where you got your sweet dance moves."

gabe laughs, shaking his head as well. "it took me centuries to acquire these dance moves, i'm sorry but i guess i'll have to live without knowing your secrets then." they both nod in agreement as william walks out of the apartment, closing the door behind him. shaant is holding the elevator door open for him and gabe wraps an arm around his waist, pulling him close and kissing his temple to get a little smile from him. william offers a smile to shaant as well, who presses the appropriate button to take them to the basement, and they enter the elevator in silence.

scene # 2 - relationship woes

"the thing about jeanae is," pete says, taking another shot, "is that she expected me to be this perfect guy, you know? she wanted me to be there for her and hold her hand all the time, but things are finally taking off with the band and i can't always baby her." william nods along, stirring the ice in his drink with his fingers. pete is a nervous talker, he notices. he moves his hands a lot and rolls his eyes, taps his fingers, bites at his bottom lip. he can't sit still. "i know she's younger, but sometimes she really acted like a child." he sighs, falls back into the booth and william thinks this might be a rare, quiet moment in the life of pete wentz. but then he bolts up again and scoffs. "and another thing! she never got along with my best friend! i mean, look at him--" he points at patrick who is charming alex and ryland at the same time, "--how can you not love that dude?"

william starts to agree with him ("yeah, he's really great.") but pete starts talking again. "anyway, that's over and done with because she was fucking psycho in the end, but tell me about your dude, cause i can tell you want to get all that off your chest. so like, what happened?"

pete settles for a minute before tapping his fingers on the edge of the table. william watches his hands move, watches the veins in his wrists run up his forearm and disappear into the inside of his elbow. "he left," is what he manages to say. "he left me."

on the other side of the bar, brendon is entertaining ryan with secret whispers in his ear while spencer and jon fight over who pays for the next round. "travis?" pete asks, and william nods. "but i thought mike said you were dating gabe? who's gabe?"

a small chuckle escapes william's lips and he sighs, leans in and pushes his drink away, looking at pete with a smile on his face. "gabe and i have been together for years, seriously, centuries. we have an incredible relationship," he explains, and pete nods along. "we can be with anyone else, it doesn't matter cause we'll always come back to each other at the end of the night." he is about to explain further but pete interrupts him, ("he sounds like the best boyfriend ever! when can i meet him?") and william just settles back into his seat to finish his drink.

scene # 3 - epic fail, guys

ryan and brendon rush down the stairs, brendon rubbing his side and ryan holding his head where the tiniest bit of blood is collecting in his hair. "gabe," ryan says, panting from having run down the stairs so quickly. "pete's gonna be a problem."

gabe opens his mouth to ask how but brendon speaks before he can, "he sort of attacked us and took off--" he waves his arms around frantically, "--went fleeing into the night!"

behind them, maja chuckles to herself and slinks up the stairs back to her room.

brendon scoffs as gabe walks away from them, cussing under his breath. william gives them a look and follows him out of the room. "seriously," brendon sighs. "what were we supposed to do? fight him? no way, dude looked crazed." he shakes his head fervently and scoffs again, folding his arms over his chest. the tension in the room has settled for now with maja upstairs and gabe off ranting somewhere. victoria and alex are chatting excitedly about what pete might be up to now while audrey and keltie whisper to each other about the last episode of the oc.

ryan pats him on the shoulder kindly and agrees. "i know man, he was pissed." usually the ryan ross drawl makes it impossible for anyone to understand if he is being sincere about what he says, but he rubs brendon's shoulder and shrugs. "i don't think he wanted to be a vampire."

"you think?" brendon's voice raises slightly because ryan just got kicked in the head and he got punched in the face and thrown against a dresser, which is not a good thing because he knows once all the excitement has died down ryan is going to milk that for all it's worth and complain that he can't carry things and needs to play video games all day so his head will heal. brendon shakes his head and pretty much yells the rest of his statement, catching the attention of almost everyone in the room except for audrey and keltie who are discussing seth cohen's perfection. "he went all fucking mental on us! i mean granted he like-- you know, caught us off guard." he nudges ryan in the side and laughs while ryan's eyes dart around and he nudges brendon back, but harder and in the ribs.

"brendon!" ryan whispers through clenched teeth, "would you shut up about that before someone hears?!"

"oh right, ha! ha ha, oops." brendon cringes, rubbing his rib now along with his head.

beside them, jon is struggling to contain his laughter. spencer is shaking his head slightly, rolling his eyes as he looks over at them. ryan is a furious shade of red and brendon is pouting, nursing all his bruises at the same time. spencer says, "you're both idiots."

scene # 4 - "i'm a vampire!"

"patrick, wake up!" pete yells, barging in through his friend's window. he climbed up the way he always climbs up and got the latch unlocked easily but it was the getting here part that was difficult. it was almost sunrise, so he was freaking out. "patrick, i'm a fucking vampire!" he shouts, goes over and pulls the covers back.

"no," patrick mumbles. "sleep time."

pete pulls the sheets completely off and shakes patrick awake. "i am a fucking vampire," he says seriously, but all he gets in return is a scoff and rolled eyes.

"it's halloween, pete, of course you're a vampire. you're always a vampire." he rolls over in bed and reaches around for his blanket which is now on the floor. pete starts to pace around the room trying to think of how he can go about proving this. patrick isn't exactly the best listener in the middle of the night, especially after he's been woken up for no apparent reason. pete would like to kick him but he would probably just fall asleep on pete's foot, and he would like to play some loud music, but it would probably lull patrick into a deeper sleep.

he decides to throw random things out there like, "william beckett bit me in the fucking neck!" to which patrick replies, muffled into his pillow, "i bet you liked it."

"i drank gabe's blood!" he tries, but patrick just makes a disgusted noise and mutters something that sounds like, "if you're into that."

pete goes over and grabs his hand, bites him on the wrist and waits for patrick to freak out, which he does almost immediately. he practically leaps out of bed, rubbing his wrist and staring at pete like he's some terrifying, caged animal. "okay," he says calmly. "so you're a vampire." pete swallows, a lump has been in his throat since he left the manor running. "go sleep in the basement away from the window," patrick advises, "i'll call andy and joe." pete nods and starts to walk away but patrick pulls him back by his shirt and hugs him tightly. pete wants to scream, he wants to cry, wants to yell at someone, to throw shit around, but instead he just sinks into patrick's arms and sighs.

"i love you, patrick stump," he sniffles and smiles at him weakly as they pull apart. "you're my best friend in the whole world."

"i love you too, you idiot," patrick echoes, and shoves him toward the door. "but if you ever bite me again, i'll have andy kick your ass."

scene # 5 - disobeying orders

"what are you two doing?" gabe asks, leaning on the door frame. he sighs dramatically and watches alex and ryland pack knives and bows, stakes and some holy water into a bag. he checks his pocket watch and scoffs. they're going out with two hours of daylight left, probably on maja's orders because she is reckless and stupid, and of course they are listening because they think they have no other choice. gabe thinks, he should fix this.

they fumble around their explanation, adding words to a sentence neither one of them will finish.

"maja said--"

"because pete's pretty--"

"and then you know--"

"--should get going now!"

gabe scoffs at the two of them and starts to leave the room but turns back around. "downstairs. both of you." he punctuates his words with a scowl and starts off without them, calling over his shoulder. "leave the knives, you idiots!" once downstairs he presses the first button on the intercom and calls everyone else to the sitting room, stands in the middle and waits for them to gather around. he didn't expect maja to come, and she didn't, she's probably upstairs painting her nails with blood or something.

"listen," gabe says, looking at all of them individually so they know he is serious. "i will take care of pete, okay? i will find him, i will talk to him, i will kill him if i have to." william gives him a look that says, don't you dare, and gabe answers with a smile that assures him he is only trying to prove a point. "there's too much fucking activity in this house right now and it's annoying me so everyone, just stop, okay? just fucking stop it." he sighs, completely fed up with the whole situation and starts to walk over to william because an hour spent in bed with him sounds pretty good right now.

behind him, michael is doing a head count and clears this throat to get gabe's attention back. "gabriel?" he asks, "where's felix?"

"oh," gabe laughs, tossing michael a set of keys. "i locked him in the room, he wouldn't listen to me." he shrugs and watches michael laugh as well. "go keep him company, alright?"

scene # 6 - helping pete out

pete is sitting in the darkest corner of the basement with roxy in his arms, listening to the cure and looking incredibly emo, gabe thinks. he goes over and sits beside him. pete doesn't flinch or freak out or try to kill him so he guesses that patrick told pete that he was coming.

"william wasn't sure if you'd want to see him," he whispers. he knows at this point pete's head is probably killing him. he is adjusting to new senses and heightened old senses. he hasn't had blood since he left the manor and he's been staying in a basement. patrick says he hasn't eaten anything.

gabe sets a bottle of wine in front of them and touches pete's shoulder gently. he is cold and tense, but he warms to gabe's touch and reaches out to open the bottle. "fruits and vegetables," gabe tells him. "don't eat meat unless you want to get seriously ill." pete starts to interrupt him so gabe explains further. "there's too much dead blood in meat, it won't kill you but it's not pleasant. alcohol and juice metabolize the same way as blood, they replenish your own and keep you alive." pete nods, taking a swig of the wine and already feeling better.

"thank you," he mumbles, but gabe doesn't look so convinced that this is a good idea.

"you will have cravings," he informs pete, who nods, and looks like he might be sick. "you will want blood and if you ever get the taste of it in your mouth, you will hunt and you will feed. i know what it's like, peter." he puts an arm around pete's shoulder and pulls him close, whispering the rest. "if you ever need it," he offers, "patrick knows what to do. i've already talked to him about it." he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small vial, sets it on the table in front of them. "this might help, audrey says it should do the trick, but i'm not sure. you were created by me and william," he smiles, proud of the fact. "that makes you more powerful than you can even imagine."

pete turns to face him and hugs him tightly, resting his head on gabe's shoulder. later today some daylights from another city are coming to take them to a safer place. pete is lucky to have the friends he does, who are willing to go with him, to sacrifice their lives to take care of him.

"this is what it feels like to be a dandy," gabe had told patrick before coming down to the basement. "you guys are a family, you protect each other, just like us."

scene # 7 - snow day

sisky shaves off a bit of the snow on his snowman's shoulder. it bears a striking resemblance to the butcher only with a bigger head, a rounder body and a carrot for a nose. he places a hat he swiped from william's room upon it's head and admires his work.

"you're perfect," he smiles. "i shall call you fun boy!"

somewhere over his shoulder, mike laughs, a laugh that is too close and too devious to mean anything good. he hurdles past felix and michael, who are making snow angels and topples into fun boy, knocking half of his body and his perfect face to the ground. his carrot nose is broken in half. mike lies on the soft snow laughing maniacally and tossing bits of fun boy's body at sisky.

sisky yells, "bill!"

william rolls his eyes and looks back at gabe who is sitting behind him on the patio, his legs stretched out at william's sides, his fingers combing through long locks. with his other hand he is holding up a book. william asks, "do you remember when the only thing that mattered was taking time for the things we loved?" and gabe nods in agreement.

"but now we've got to humour all these fools," he sighs, and they smile at each other.

"i love our family," william whispers, settles against gabe's chest and closes his eyes, enjoying the way gabe's fingers feel against his scalp and the laughter from the yard-- audrey is giggling as brendon pushes her higher on the swing. keltie and ryan are beating jon and spencer in a snowball fight. before he shut his eyes he could see alex, ryland, nate and victoria sitting around reading to each other. andy is helping sisky put the snowman back together while tom playfully stuffs snow down mike's shirt. their family is perfect, he thinks, and smiles to himself.

scene # 8 - charades

"i don't understand what that means, dude." brendon shrugs his shoulders looking entirely annoyed at the mime in front of him. "you can't just flail your arms around for your entire life and expect people are going to know what you are saying, or take your seriously, for that matter."

the mime mimes something that may or may not be a fish. brendon shrugs.

"are you trying tell me something?" he asks, nicely, because he feels like this poor guy is just confused and probably scared-- his friends have all gone and left him and here he is just looking for a friend. the mime nods, yes, and brendon nods as well. "we could, like, play charades?"

the mime gets overly excited and brendon laughs because he is doing cartwheels back and forth. brendon sets his crossbow down and chuckles to himself as the mime stops cart-wheeling long enough to hold up seven fingers. he holds up six fingers and brings his arms around himself, his teeth chattering.

"okay, seven words, sixth word, uh--" brendon shrugs, then starts throwing out answers. "oh! cold? no, not cold, uh, chilly? winter? uh, ice?" he watches the mime shake his head again and repeat the action and then the light bulb goes off above brendon's head. "frozen!" he yells, excited. "frozen, got it!"

the mime holds up one finger and pulls on his ear, points to brendon and nods, then holds up two fingers and points to brendon again. "uh?" brendon furrows his eyebrows and tries to work it out. "okay so the first word sounds like you? the second word is you? who? who you? moo you? crew you? oh dude, i'm so dumb, do you?! ha ha, i like this game."

at this point, brendon holds up the correct fingers and goes through what he already has. do you, frozen. he furrows his brows, not quite understanding yet. the mime holds up three fingers, tugs on his ear again and pulls all of his hair in front of his head, pats it down horizontally across on his forehead. brendon looks at him for a second and then it clicks. "shaant?!" he laughs, hysterical now, holding his stomach as his mime friend laughs silently along with him and puts his hair back to normal. "oh man, that is perfect, shaant! oh, shaant." brendon composes himself and chuckles, "how do you even know shaant, dude?" the mime shrugs and brendon decides, whatever, it's a small world. "so third word sounds like shaant? oh that's easy, do you want?" the mime nods and brendon goes over it again: do you want, frozen.

the mime raises an eyebrow dramatically because he can see brendon working it out in his mind. "dude," brendon smiles. "can we get married and have little eighteenth century mime babies? you are totally reading my mind right now. do you want to get frozen yogurt? hell yes i do, let's go buddy." he walks over and wraps an arm around the mime's shoulder, patting him on the arm as his new friend smiles widely at him. "it's not too late so the mall will still be open," brendon suggests, "and we've got time before sunrise, so we should be okay!"

they get as far as the gates until brendon realizes something. "wait a minute," he says slowly, turning to face the mime, who is shrugging his shoulders and holding up his hands to ask what the matter is. "you were supposed to be gone by now! i was supposed to be making sure you were out of town!" the mime glances around and smiles innocently. "you're trying to trick me!" brendon gasps, hurt. the mime starts to back away slowly but, before he is too far, kicks brendon in the shin and runs off leaving brendon hobbling around on one leg, whining. "that son of a bitch!" he exclaims, shaking a fist. "well, at least no one will ever know about this." he shakes his head and starts to walk back to get his cross bow just as ryan's car pulls up and jon waves at him through the window. brendon waves back, silently vowing to kill the mime that duped him.

scene # 10 - getting kidnapped

keltie wraps her finger around a strand of her hair, she's chewing cherry flavoured gum and sticks her tongue out at audrey who is mocking the way she chews with her mouth open. audrey walks up ahead and follows the straight lines painted in the middle of the road. they should be on the sidewalk but it's late and no one is around for miles. they are taking the long way home, just enjoying time away from the boys and audrey's experiments for the time being. they had confronted the girl coven last night with victoria (because the boys didn't think it was particularly kind or gentleman-like of them to threaten girls) so tonight was the routine check up, and they didn't have to do anything really, since they had all taken off already.

"hey," she asks, smacking audrey on the arm so she pays attention. audrey quirks an eyebrow and turns around, attempting to walk a straight line backwards. "do you ever get the feeling that there's something going on between ryan and brendon?" keltie undoes the ribbon in her hair and reties it, audrey just snorts and nods.

"always has been," she shrugs, "i think there always will be, but let's face it, they're completely head over heels in love with us, man." keltie nods in agreement and she has to admit, it is kind of cute the way they think no one knows about them.

audrey turns back around but talks louder so keltie can hear her. "i think they might have dated or something, before ryan met william, that's why he turned brendon-- couldn't stand life without him. but they're a puppy love, teenaged hand holding, pass you notes in school kind of love. they're the best kind of love, kel, but not the kind that lasts forever. we're eternity for them." audrey glances back and smiles, her mouth wide and fitted perfectly to her teeth. she has her septum ring out right now but keltie thinks it looks better in, even when she is wearing one of maja's old dresses and heels. "i don't mind them together, mainly because i know they're just sad sometimes without each other, and nostalgic for what they had before. they can't get it back, though, because now they have to live forever and you can't pass i love you notes in class forever."

keltie thinks that for a girl who can't spell three letter words properly, audrey can be pretty insightful and wise at times.

she has her moments.

"car," she shouts back, and they both walk towards the curb to avoid getting hit. it's useless though, because it heads right for them, swerves and stops a foot away. a few guys step out and in front of them; audrey raises an eyebrow at them. "great," she rolls her eyes when she notices one of them has abnormally sharp teeth.

a vampire who is most definitely not the leader of this coven but is probably the second in command (the way ryan is the third in command, because gabe and william share second and maja scares the fuck out of everyone) steps up and says, calmly. "you're going to have to come with us.

audrey rolls her eyes again and turns to keltie who says, "do they not know who we are? i don't think they know who we are." she looks each one of the boys in the eyes and scoffs at them. "listen boys," she says nonchalantly, as if she's telling sisky and brendon off for making a mess in the kitchen. "we're dandies, and if you know anything about this town, i suggest you get back in your little vamp-mobile and head home because, well, we're fucking dandies." she scoffs and turns to leave but one of the vampires grabs her arm and turns her around.

the other one, the second in command on a power trip, says, "we know who you are but that doesn't change anything and i won't repeat myself. i apologize for being rude but there's no other option here. you have to come with us."

keltie pulls her arm away and bites down on her jaw. usually she is the level headed one and audrey is off the wall; it makes them a good team, but right now she is downright pissed. "you new kids," she seethes, "you have no idea who you're dealing with, do you?" the second, he starts to say something but before the words are even out of his mouth, keltie has already kicked the vampire who grabbed her against the car and has a dagger to one of the others' neck; audrey has splashed holy water on one of them and is rubbing her knuckles where they collided with someone's face. they don't get much of a chance to celebrate though because someone pulls a gun to audrey's temple and the second in command clears his throat.

he says, clearly and enunciated because he thinks they're deaf or something, "let him go. and get in the car, ladies." keltie knees the vampire in the stomach for good measure but pulls back and slips her dagger back into her garter. audrey rolls her eyes and shoves the gun out of her face, climbing into the back of the car after keltie.

"you idiots better hope they send william to come get us," audrey laughs, crosses her leg over the other and pulls her dress over her thighs. she nudges keltie in the side because she is obviously still annoyed at the moment, but audrey can only see the situation ending badly for these guys. "if they send gabe, you're toast. he'll kill you first and won't even bother to ask questions and trust me, it doesn't matter how many of you there are, they'll be nothing left but dust when he's through with you." she giggles again and the second in command rolls his eyes. "oh, you're all gonna die," she sing-songs, sinks into the seat and fiddles with the hem of her dress.

keltie thinks that for a girl who is insightful and wise at times, audrey can annoy the hell out of the most patient and tolerant people.

she has her moments.

scene # 10 - reunions

ryan kisses keltie's hair, smooths the blanket out over her back and hugs her closer. she is warm and smooth all over and he wants to lie like this forever. they haven't left their room for hours, even though most of their time was spent with him apologizing to her over and over again. "i'm sorry," he says again, barely whispered over the sounds of her breathing. she mumbles something into his shoulder and kisses his skin, but he shakes his head and sighs.

"it wasn't your fault," she says, wrapping her arms around his waist and rubbing his sides. "it had nothing to do with you and we're fine, i'm fine, ryan. it's the life we lead, it's dangerous, but we accept it because it's who we are and what we have to do to survive."

he looks at her and frowns, his bottom lip sticking out slightly. "i'll never let anything happen to you, i promise, never again." he leans down and kisses her softly, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "i'll do whatever it takes to protect you."

keltie smiles, kisses him again, and nods her head, her eyes closing as they whisper i love you's and good night's.

scene # 11 - reunions pt. 2

"ryan was pretty freaked," brendon says. his voice is small in a way that breaks audrey's heart. she wishes she could fix him but she realizes he is just sad, not broken. he is trying to be brave but she can tell he's scared, too. "i was okay," he lies. "i knew you weren't gone, just taken, and i would see you again." he's rambling. he is all nerves and his palms are getting sweaty on the small of her back. even with the window open and the breeze filtering in through the room, he is a wreck.

she knows, he's always been the girl in this relationship anyway. he has always been the one to cling to her, to vie for her attention any way he can get it. she has always loved him more than he loved her but to make up for it he always makes sure to show her every day they were together that he couldn't live without her. he probably wants her to say something reassuring at this point but he doesn't indicate so, so he prattles on.

"i knew you'd be okay. i mean, we weren't going to let them hurt you. i wasn't going to let them hurt you." audrey thinks, and william. william was mostly in charge of the making sure they were okay and unharmed.

brendon sighs heavily and audrey decides now is a good time to speak up. she says, "i love you my little bird. i promise you we will always be okay. somehow, somehow we will be. i will protect you and you will protect me, and everyone within these walls will be there to help."

their noses touch. brendon kisses the corner of audrey's mouth and smiles. "i love you too, killer queen."

scene # 12 - an endless argument

william pulls his shirt on and does each button up carefully. in the mirror he can see that his hair is pretty messed up right now, so he goes over and combs it out with his fingers, smoothes it down and twists the bottoms around his fingers to get the right effect. he checks that there are no wrinkles on his clothes, that his pants are buttoned and zipped and that the collar of his shirt isn't sticking up strangely. he can't leave the house looking like he just rolled out of bed, what would that say about his image?

by the window, travis is lighting another cigarette (william never bothered with things like cigarettes, although out of habit a bunch of the dandies still smoked and gabe was quite partial to smoking a pipe just to remind himself of the good ol' days) and opening the window to let in a little bit of the breeze. "i don't know if i'll see you tomorrow," william sighs, pulling his boots on. "we're going to go see the elvis coven but they're pretty far out of town so i may not be able to swing by here before going home." he checks to make sure he has everything he needs. keys, wallet, his phone, a dagger stuck back in his boot and one up his sleeve.

"we could help you out with that situation, you know, if you wanted. too many covens are popping up out of nowhere lately and you guys can't take em all by yourself." william sort of agrees, but he shrugs his shoulders.

"i'll mention it to gabe when i get home." he checks his pocket watch and realizes it's much later than he thought it was. "speaking of home, i should be going."

travis scoffs by the window and william turns to raise an eyebrow at him. "you know, one night you could just stay here if you wanted, i wouldn't mind."

he almost chokes on his laughter, on the nervous chuckle that escapes his lips. "stay here?" william asks, shaking his head. "i told you, i can't spend the night away from the manor." travis looks as though he might protest somehow, but william cuts him off with a hand held out. "look, i am flattered that you keep offering to house me for the night, and i would love to stay, i really would, but rules are rules. there has to be rules when you're living like this or everything will fall apart, travis. i'm not going to tell you how to run your family but this is how i run mine. some of our rules have been in place before television existed, and i'm not about to break or even bend them after so long. the dandies are all equal; i wouldn't expect them to obey the rules we set in place and then not do the same." he shrugs, turns back around and grabs his jacket from the arm chair.

"that, and your boyfriend doesn't want you to stay here," travis adds, a hint of something cruel in his voice.

william sighs.

"i don't do things because gabe tells me to do them, travis mccoy, i do them because i want to." it's an argument they haven't had before because they've never had the opportunity to talk about it but now that it's happening, william wishes he had just left when he had the chance. "i want to be with you, so i'm with you. i want to be here right now, so i'm here. if i wanted to stay here for the night, i would, but i want to respect my family, so i'm going home and i will go home every night for the rest of my life."

travis finally turns around to face him and he looks disappointed. it's enough to break william's heart if he wasn't annoyed right now. he flicks his cigarette out of the window and shrugs his shoulders. "if gabe asked you not to see me, would you stop coming here?"

"no," william answers, simply, truthfully. "but the point is, travie, he would never ask me to." his shoulders sag and he leans against the dresser, shaking his head, contemplating how such a serious conversation came out so suddenly. "i don't know what more you want from me," he whispers and states, because it needs to be said, "i love you."

all he gets in return is a shrug and travis turning back to face the window, pointing out, "yeah, but you love him, too."

it's difficult, william thinks, to be put in this position. he loves travis, but he loves gabe too and both in completely different ways. travis is a new life to him, someone he has to build a relationship with, someone unpredictable and intoxicating. gabe is comfort and security, gabe is constant and never ending, the part of william's life that he will never be without. it would take everything out of him to try to explain his relationship with gabe to anyone, trying to explain it to travis would be torture. he has belonged to gabe saporta since he was seventeen years old. their life together isn't something he can explain in words.

he wants to say something that will make this better but instead all he can manage is, "it's hard not to."

scene # 13 - centuries

william stands up and walks over to gabe, sits in his lap so they are facing, his legs long and dangling at gabe's sides. "everything is different now, eduardo," he whispers, tongue rolling the r with perfection that gabe knows he has been practicing for centuries. "we're not alone anymore, we don't have to be. i know sometimes you want it to be just the two of us again, and sometimes i want that too, but we've both spent too much time being alive instead of living." gabe nods in agreement, and he truly does understand what william is saying. "everything is different now," he says again, "the world is changed."

gabe leans up and kisses him, his tongue gentle on william's lips. he pulls away and smiles, "eugene," he croons, and william immediately melts into his arms because only gabriel saporta can make a name like eugene sound perfect, the harsh g, fading out against william's lips. "the world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold." william grins toothily at the words, recalling a time when he had read them in a letter given to him by a playwright, a soon to be novelist. gabe kisses the corner of his mouth and closes his eyes. "the curves of your lips rewrite history."

they are flawless at being together, the two of them, effortless and beautiful. gabe's jacket falls to the floor behind him, the buttons on william's shirt are slowly being opened. gabe kisses his chest, his skin, pale white and stretched over his bones. the thin fabric of gabe's shirt slides off his shoulders and william presses quick, wet kisses to them, simultaneously unbuckling his belt.

they are sweet and soft, slow, and so intense, all lingering kisses and nibbled bottom lips. but they are also wildly passionate. through the years they have never gotten sick of each other, never gotten bored, never wanted anyone more than they always want each other. when william was with travis, he still wanted gabe; not more or less, just different. gabe tosses william's shirt into the corner of the room, stands up, lifting william with him, and sets him down on the desk. they are exciting, they are bold and daring and completely in love. william thinks it is entirely possible to love two people at the same time, to love one as intensely as the other, he is proof. gabe thinks he is perfect, kicking off his shoes, lifting his hips to push his pants off over his thighs and completely off, pulling gabe closer by his undone belt and grinning. gabe does the same, leans over william and whispers in his ear, "i've wanted to be inside you all day."

william closes his eyes, bites his bottom lip and wraps an arm around gabe's shoulders, keeping their chests pressed together. "you're always inside me, gabe, always," he is quiet and demure but whimpering, running his fingers over the veins in gabe's arm. gabe's fingers are wrapped tight around him, sliding up and down and causing william's hips to rise off the desk. gabe moves into him slowly, kissing william's neck, his chest, kissing the spot just below where his ribs stick out and they both take a moment to enjoy the feeling, a moment of staggering pleasure. gabe pulls william up and kisses him, continues moving his hand in slow strokes. william moans into his ear, "i love you," and gabe smiles.

for two people who love each other so passionately, they barely ever said the words. i love you went out of style with parachute pants and hair metal bands. it isn't necessary for them to say the words; they feel it every day they are together. but once in a while, whether it is to reassure each other or to emphasize a point, they will. sometimes, when they are sitting at dinner (and lately gabe has taken maja's seat at the far end, with william beside him) gabe will be passing the strawberries to alex and william will lean over and whisper it in his ear. sometimes, when william is in the cellar picking out wine or checking in on audrey, gabe will go down and kiss him for no reason, hold him tightly and say it. sometimes it just feels right, like now, and gabe feels it too, kisses william's neck and sighs. "i love you more and more every day, gorgeous."

their smiles are identical, toothy and genuine, hips moving in unison. william would like to express how perfect this moment is, but the words are stuck in his throat between gasped breaths, between gabe's name being whispered over and over again and the small whimpers he makes when gabe's hips crash into his. he would like to express something other than low moans against gabe's mouth but he can't concentrate.

gabe nips at his chest with too much teeth, runs his tongue along a bite on william's neck that will never heal-- the one gabe gave him so long ago.

scene # 14 - a phone call

"hello," patrick answers, cheerfully.

"uh, hello," a voice says on the other line, deep and husky. "is your uh, is your refrigerator running?"

patrick sighs. "this wasn't funny the first time, gabe, and it's not funny now."

on the other line he can hear gabe laughing hysterically, smacking the desk in the library as william mumbles something about how immature he is. "okay, okay, how about this? a nun, a priest and a vampire walk into a church--"

patrick doesn't even get a chance to finish the joke for him because william smacks him in the head and gabe yelps into the phone. "cut it out," william rolls his eyes. "you've told patrick that one eighteen times, this'll make nineteen and it'll be the hundred and twenty seventh time i've heard it so just don't."

gabe finally stops laughing and gets down to business. "alright," he says. "how have you guys been?"

"eh," patrick shrugs over the phone, "same old, you know. andy's been kicking ass in his training and joe's got some new tricks up his sleeve. i've been fixing up some stuff for pete, and pete, well--" he sort of stops himself before he says anything else and asks what's going on with the dandies.

gabe doesn't push on the pete issue, just tells patrick that they are all fine, just in a little bind, and asks to speak to pete.

"hey buddy," he says when he hears pete's voice on the other end. "want to do me a huge favor?"

scene # 15 - explanations

"so you see, it wasn't hard at all! after all that initial hard stuff, having to rework the equations and insert different variables was simple!" audrey claps her hands together and grins. she's proud that she got her work done, and just in time too. the few vampires that were still alive were allowed to leave to spread the word that the dandies weren't going to stand for people invading their territory. they had a new weapon, one that couldn't be beat, and if any other coven decided to take a stroll through their town and cause trouble, they would regret it. she sighs, amazed at her own brilliance, and continues explaining her work to brendon.

"i just had to work with varying consistencies to find one that worked with every possible situation. i mean, it took forever because i had to do so many tests with no test subjects, but i've figured out harder things, so this was a--" she looks over and raises an eyebrow, poking her boyfriend in the rib. "brendon?"

beside her, he has fallen asleep, his mouth hanging open slightly, head lolling sideways and his hands still clutching his glass of blood.

audrey says, "oh man."

--

bloopers will be in another post, i just have to type them up! everything is always written on torn out pages from my notebook, it takes forever to decipher my handwriting at times. i slept a lot and got swept up in life this week since i had so much time off, but i apologize profusely. for those of you who are writers, you already know how difficult writer's block can be to live with.

also just to clarify, gabe and william met in 1787 when william was seventeen and gabe was technically still twenty three. william worked for gabe and maja and he and gabe had a whirlwind romance that led to him being sired five years later :)

this series is now 39 430 words, holy fuck

continue to bloopers but read the story first!

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:32:34 GMT

a little less 16 candles, a little more touch me, 2006
the sacrifice of life; living well is the best revenge (part two)
travis / william, gabe / william, 4599 words (nc17)

-- i still remember the days when you didn't feel the need to escape and every demon you never face is the reason you're not safe; please understand that you've had every chance, you've had all the time, all the time in the world

"here's the situation," shaant says. they are sitting around in the sitting room, all listening intently. "the punks were already our biggest threat to begin with. we thought they left for good, i mean gabe and william-- that was some pretty intimidating shit you pulled, but those were just a few guys from the coven. they went home and they brought the whole family back, and then they decided to include the goths on their plan to take us down." there are shaking heads and sighs, all around, the dandies are looking annoyed and exasperated.

gabe looks disappointed, more in himself than anything, but william reaches out and squeezes his hand, silently assuring him that it is in no way his fault.

shaant presses on, looking entirely defeated. "combined they have about thirty members." william coughs out something like a shocked scoff and it's gabe's turn to squeeze his hand back. "we're outnumbered, but we know what they plan to do so we have the advantage."

brendon starts to ask how the hell shaant knows any of this but audrey and jon both shush him, audrey because she wants to hear exactly how they could possibly come out victorious in this situation and jon because he knows that shaant is a miracle worker and he can get any kind of information necessary.

"they think that we're working with travis--" (gabe says, "we are doing no such thing!") "--so they're going to attack them first seeing as we are the bigger coven. they attack tomorrow night and then who knows when they'll come for us." shaant shrugs, surveys the room for a reply of some sort but everyone is half in shock, half appalled that this is happening.

finally, sounding scared and generally lost for any other words, spencer asks, "what are we going to do?"

it's gabe that answers, standing up so his presence is made known, and william blinks for a moment, unsure if the words he is hearing are actually coming from him. "we'll help them," he says, simply. "not because we're working with them, because we're not, but because-- well, fuck, they'd help us. they're the only vampires thus far who haven't tried to take over or destroy this town and aside from their little stunt with our princesses, they haven't gotten in our way. they're semi-decent, at least, and if they're wiped out then we're left without any help at all if a situation like this ever arises later on." william thinks he might be being a little optimistic with the whole later on thing, because even with travie helping them, they are still largely outnumbered. he realizes he is still holding gabe's hand, even though gabe is standing, their fingers laced together gracefully.

everyone starts to nod along in agreement; they are going to war. from the corner of the room, someone clears their throat and both gabe and william tense up because they have heard that sound so many times before and this just isn't the moment.

maja says, "i leave my family to you boys for a few months and this is what i return to?" there is a slight amusement mingling with malice in her voice and she is staring daggers at the two of them. william stands up beside gabe and ryan stands up beside them. maja looks less than impressed. "if you boys want to go to war, there's no stopping you, but the rest of you should think twice before following two lovesick puppies to your deaths." she shrugs and stares at the crowd for a minute before walking up to her room.

brendon is the first to stand up, nodding determinedly. usually he is the one mixing sprinkles in his blood and talking about how sad he is that he can't have a puppy (because ryan threatens he'd eat it) and jumping on gabe's back, begging for piggy back rides, but right now he is serious and sincere and entirely grown up. "i would gladly, blindly follow you two lovesick puppies to my death any day."

"we should be toasting," ryland chimes in and before they know it, sisky is opening their freshest bottles of blood and they are pouring glasses to the brims.

"to the dandies," gabe says, raising his glass. everyone raises theirs in unison, echoes gabe's words and drinks. he gives william a look that says, plainly, meet me in five minutes, and william nods, drains his glass and gives ryan a hug.

before he joins william in the cellar (he has already slipped out of everyone's sight and gone down), gabe goes over to shaant to thank him for everything he's done. "really," he presses, "you are just as much a part of this family as any of us, i don't know where we'd be without you." shaant, who is casually drinking champagne, taps his glass against gabe's and insists it's no problem. still, he's the longest daylight they've ever stayed with, and he's never let them down. "i'll talk to you tomorrow morning about details," gabe says, slipping in a little business before he smiles. "don't drink all of that by yourself," he says, patting shaant on the back and walking away, glancing over his shoulder before he heads downstairs.

everyone probably thinks they left to have sex, but they have to be cautious anyway. william pretends to be looking for more wine when gabe comes in, just in case it's someone else. he sighs, relieved, when gabe smiles at him, goes over and gives him a big hug. "dramatic day, huh?" gabe asks, and william nods.

"so what do you think?" william asks, getting right down to business. gabe already knows what he is talking about since it was written all over his face when he came back from travie's with shaant (shaant having debriefed him in the car). "it's the only choice we have, gabriel," william whispers. no one can hear them here but they are taking every precaution necessary just in case. "we're outnumbered," he says, "you know we are and travis' vampires aren't nearly as good as us, it would be like getting help from children." he hates to admit it but they aren't trained like dandies; aside from gabe and william the rest of the dandies have lived peaceful lives, but they have always had training, in case a situation like this one arose. travie's vampires have only seen scuffles. he repeats himself to get his point across. "it's the only choice we have."

"alright," gabe nods, because he's been thinking the same thing for a while now. "i'll make the call first thing in the morning, they're not far so it shouldn't take too long to get here, but william," he pulls him closer and says gravely, so quietly william can barely hear him. "if we're going to do this, should we discuss that other thing too, now that everything has been laid out on the table?"

william thinks about it for a moment. on one hand, it's the worst thing they could ever do, on the other hand, it would be convenient to kill these two birds with one stone. he sighs heavily and says, "let's do it. if it fucks everything up, it fucks everything up, but i think we should do it."

gabe kisses him softly, william's hands resting on his shoulders. "i'll tell him," he whispers and william frowns. something about all of this seems wrong, seems like it's going to end badly. gabe presses their foreheads together and attempts a smile. "it's gonna be okay," he says. he is entirely unsure, but he says it anyway.

-

gabe kisses william for at least ten minutes, hands in his hair and their bodies pressed tight against the wall. nate tells them to get a room. william smiles against gabe's teeth, "to war," he says, quiet and scared. he is holding gabe's face in his hands as if it's the last time they'll see each other. they kiss, over and over again, they make it as dramatic as they can. they have to keep up appearances.

gabe pulls him into a hug and says, "to death."

william finishes with, "to eternity."

as he walks out the door, brendon is mocking them with an enthusiastic, "to infinity, and beyond!" that makes everyone, including gabe and william, laugh.

"i love you," william says, quietly, not acting anymore. "i love you so much, sometimes i think i can't exist without you. sometimes i think you don't know-- you don't understand how hard it is for me to love you like i do." he presses his lips to gabe's and lets them linger as he pulls back, eyes closed and a frown on his face.

"sometimes," gabe sighs, "sometimes i forget. but i'm glad you remind me." he hugs william again, holds him tightly and kisses his hair. "now go out there and make me proud."

they decide to walk since it's close and since they all secretly know this might not end well, they don't want to bother with the clean up of cars as well as blood and dust. gabe says his final goodbyes to william, slips in a few more prolonged kisses and another dozen hugs and calls ryan over to him as they're turning the corner to leave. he whispers to him, "i need you to stay."

ryan gives him a look that says, plainly, you're out of your fucking mind. "usually," he replies, "i would accept an offer to keep those girls occupied while you guys go out and play rough, but i'm going with them."

"ross, i need you to do this for me," gabe presses on. the door shuts behind felix, the sound echoing through the entrance hall, bouncing off the walls and high ceilings and back to their ears.

ryan scoffs, turns to catch up to the rest of the guys and mutters, "fuck you, get someone else."

gabe puts a hand on his shoulder and pulls him back. "ryan," he sighs, heavily, turning him around completely so they are face to face. "the hierarchy is about to be completely fucked up." ryan looks like he's about to interrupt but gabe makes an impatient noise and presses on. "if something happens to me or to william, this becomes your coven. we're going to war and we're going to win-- we're the fucking dandies-- but if we don't, we need this house protected."

ryan glances around at the place, and he knows this is serious. it is more than just hardwood floors and stone steps to the cellar, more than just furniture and marble tile. this is their home.

"we need those guns and the weapons taken to sarti, you take the money, you take the girls and you call shaant. it's already been arranged, if we don't come back, you take the girls and you go to vegas. lie low, get in contact with shane or thom or the mormons if you have to--" ryan nods along, but still wants to protest somewhat.

gabe can feel the thoughts forming in his mind so he kisses him softly, his lips lingering for a moment, his words whispered against ryan's mouth. "ryan, i need you to take care of this family."

ryan agrees in the end and goes upstairs to join keltie while gabe gets told off by victoria.

"what the fuck do you think you're doing?" she asks through clenched teeth. "i should be out there with them and you know it." she looks like she might hit him and he honestly expects it because victoria usually gets her way, but not today. he reaches out and takes her hand in his, kisses her fingertips. it reminds her of when they met, when he and alex came to hear her sing in a cafe. they both fell in love with her, alex with her voice and her smile, gabe with the way she would be the perfect addition to their already growing family, with the way she made alex suarez blush.

he had kissed her fingertips and drained her of blood, and when he brought her back, alex had lied with her in bed and stayed until she was whole again, emptying his veins into her mouth.

"you've always been so strong," he says, quietly, and already she has calmed down. "i need you to be strong here. audrey is mere moments away from finishing her work, keltie is like a little worker bee, she is getting all our documentation together, just in case, and ryan is next in the chain of command."

"what about maja?" victoria asks, distracted from her anger for a moment.

gabe sighs and kisses the back of her hand. "don't worry about maja," he smiles. "you are the most important part of the staying at home equation, victoria asher, because you have to be strong. you have to be strong for all of them. ryan can do this, but he will need your help."

she looks at him skeptically but nods, finally, in agreement, and kisses him on the cheek. "i've really enjoyed being here," she says, as she is walking away and gabe can see rare tears forming in her eyes. "this is the only family i could ever dream of being a part of." gabe smiles at her from across the room where she is simply glowing in the moonlight.

"victoria," he calls out, "i'm glad you were part of this, too. i'm glad all of you were." he sighs, looks down at his feet and says in a small voice that doesn't suit him. "we set out to change the world and ended up just changing ourselves."

from the foot of the stairs, victoria sniffles. "what's wrong with that?" she asks.

gabe shrugs his shoulders, he notices a car pull up in the driveway and says, simply, "nothing." she walks up the stairs and he finishes with, "if you don't look at the world."

he walks across across the entrance hall and meets his guest at the front door, opening it slightly. "safe trip?" he asks, and gets a smile and a nod in reply. they hug and gabe sighs, a little nervous about what's about to happen. "upstairs," he says, "you know where it is." he is about to walk out of the house, he needs some time to collect his thoughts, to get his head together before he joins the rest of the dandies, but he turns around and whispers, "say goodbye for us, and sorry-- not that it'll mean much, considering."

-

everything is a blur after william hands his cane over to mike and drops his glove. he is vaguely aware of slapping someone, hard, in the face when pete shows up but after that, he can't really recall anything. gabe told him he didn't care if he sat in the corner and sipped tea, so that is what he does, sitting on top of someone's car watching the scene unfold, his foot resting on an unconscious vampire.

(he'll have to remind someone to kill him later, but not now because he needs a foot stool and this is comfortable.)

they are winning, of course. they are a coordinated effort of hand to hand combat and brendon and spencer's mind games on the girls the punks brought with them. pete's friends have managed to get in the way more than anything, although andy did kill a few punks and he can see joe dusting goths left and right, so that helps.

william watches from his elevated seat as things start to get more intense. he almost considers getting up and helping as a few more punks show up from the alleys, but audrey, keltie and victoria show up in the nick of time with audrey's guns and he watches in awe as they carefully aim at their enemies, shooting single bullets of uv rays into their skin. gabe and ryan are walking up with them, looking thoroughly impressed as they join the dandies in the middle of the area.

brendon kisses audrey quickly on the lips and giggles, "my girlfriend is amazing."

william is barely aware of pete lunging at him, but manages to pull his favourite disappearing act just in time, because he doesn't want his hair to be ruffled.

when pete wakes up the second time, he is no longer handcuffed in the back of a cop car. instead he is lying on the elegant couch in william's room while william towers over him, looking rather fond. gabe smacks him on the cheek a few times. "wake up, sleepyhead," he sing-songs. pete's head hurts like hell and he doesn't know why.

"sorry about the cops, they're old daylights," william shrugs. "they can be a little overzealous at times."

pete sits up and frowns, punching gabe on the arm to which he replies, "don't punch the arm that feeds you, you ungrateful bastard!" but he pulls pete into a tight hug and snuggles against his hair. "you did so well, little wentz."

"thanks," he says, not sure if that was a compliment or not. "are we in the clear?" william nods yes, and pete sighs, relieved. "thank goodness because i was enjoying my quiet little vampire life without you two idiots, thank you very much, now do you have my stuff?"

gabe rolls his eyes and points to a box of well packaged and brendon-proof holy water on the dresser by the door, the same ones they have been sending him for months to help him control the cravings. "you're like a drug addict," gabe teases, but they all laugh. it's been getting harder for pete; he's chosen not to drink blood and that's the hardest thing a vampire could ever do, but gabe and william have been slowly educating him in how to control himself. he and the boys will stay in the manor for a while for more intense lessons and until the rest of the lingering vampires have been driven out of the city.

gabe checks his watch and glances at the window, notices that william is looking at it too. "i'll give you guys a minute," he says, patting pete on the knee. "rooms are all set up for you guys, they're the last ones down the hall." he pauses at the door and looks back. "pete?" he says, tapping his fingers against the frame.

"yeah, buddy?"

gabe smiles at him and shrugs his shoulders. "it's good to finally have you home." pete smiles at him and gabe heads downstairs to join the party that's going on.

william immediately pulls pete into a hug and sighs heavily into his shoulder. "i'm so sorry," he says even though he's said it a million times over the months. "i just couldn't-- we couldn't let you die, pete, we love you too much." he half shrugs, his face a permanent frown, but pete nudges him in the side. "and thank you, for everything." pete nods slowly, sadly, and they both take a moment to collect their thoughts. william breaks their silence by whispering. "they can never know, understand?"

"i understand," pete agrees, but he wraps an arm around william's waist and lets his head loll onto his shoulder. "but even if they did know, i think they would still love you to death and back." william nods, his eyes closed and his lips curving into an elegant smile. "come on, kid," pete smirks, "we should get down there."

downstairs the dandies are pouring glasses of wine and tossing grapes into each other's mouths. brendon is the only one bothering to listen to audrey retell how she finally figured out the guns. victoria raises a glass to william as he walks by and ryan smiles at him in an incredibly warming way. he scans the room for gabe and notices him in the entrance hall, standing against the frame of the open door.

"what are you doing here all by yourself?" he asks, wrapping his arms around gabe's waist and kissing his jaw. "can't have a party without you, eduardo." gabe smiles at the careful use of his middle name and turns to kiss william's nose. he nudges his head toward the street where travis is chain smoking cigarettes with his right hand man waiting with him outside of their car.

"go on, eugene," he says softly, but william makes a face.

"i feel like i'm walking away from you whenever i walk towards him," he frowns. "you should know that i'm not. i'd never walk away from you, gabriel saporta. you are always with me, always inside me, you are every perfect part of me." he pulls gabe down by his collar and kisses him passionately. "i love you," he says, pulling away, the words soft against gabe's lips. "i will always love you."

"i love you too," gabe smiles, and nods, kisses him again for good measure and goes inside before william starts to walk away. he turns back to say, "be back before sunrise, william beckett--"

"i know, i know," william laughs. "rules are rules."

-

gabe finds himself in the same bar he found alex in the night they met. (it happens to be the same bar william found ryan in and is therefore their favourite bar having since brought them both so much happiness.) it is only midnight so he doesn't have to worry about time, but he checks his watch anyway and wonders how the party is going. at this point, shaant is probably winning a game of gin rummy against everyone, victoria is suggesting strip gin rummy, and brendon and audrey are passed out in blood and sprinkles induced comas, their faces being drawn on my ryan and keltie.

gabe wonders why he is here instead of at home drawing a house on brendon's face but as he turns around he nearly bumps into someone short and cute and blond.

"oh sorry," he says, making sure she hasn't spilled anything on herself, or him for that matter. "sorry, i'm so clumsy," he apologizes again but she just smiles at him.

"i'm the clumsy one," she laughs and gabe knew this bar was their favourite for a reason. she rubs his side with a playful pout on her face and frowns at him. "i think i might have bruised you."

before his brain can even process the words, they are out of his mouth. "my name's gabriel," he says, quiet and in awe, sticking his hand awkwardly to shake hers. "gabriel saporta."

the blond looks at him and smiles, sticks her hand out to shake his. her hands are small and soft and gabe wants to know what they will feel like tilting his neck to the side to get at his veins from a better angle. she has a firm, girly grip and laughs afterwards. "hello gabriel saporta, my name is ashlee simpson."

fin

--

i do apologize for this taking as long as it did, but with 10 000+ words in this part alone and a weekend of 12 hour work days, it was difficult to find the time. this is a total of 30 779 words. the parts alone are the longest i have ever written. it is longer than rise of the fall (which is currently at 24, 464 words) but that has two more parts on the way so we'll see. still, this is the most epic thing i think i have ever written since i wrote lord of the rings fan fiction back in the day lol at my life :/

the dandies, how they were sired & couples. i researched this fic because i am a loser. in the making of the video, the director says the dandies have about seventeen members (this fic has nineteen but that can be overlooked) but only thirteen showed up to the fight. maja, gabe, ryan, victoria, audrey and keltie weren't there until the very end (and maja wasn't there at all), which takes care of the thirteen.

i didn't want to include too many people in this fic because i didn't want there to be too much happening. i mean, even some of the dandies get very little air time. i wanted to keep it william centered (it became sort of gabe centered at times) but still follow the plot of the sixteen candles video.

i seriously wanted to write: how to act mor(t)al in their two person world of immor(t)ality, brackets and all, oh pete wentz you have ruined my life.

i love oscar wilde, therefore so does william. also, someone better have caught the double duel references! and the velvet goldmine / oscar wilde references, but i doubt it.

thanks to gabe saporta's old bands for providing me with awesome titles.

and yes, pete did kill maja. gabe and william had been sending him holy water to help with patrick's blend and they called him back to help, they just had to do a bit of acting so no one would catch on until afterwards and then they told the dandies like SURPRISE, WE LOVE PETE!

i just, i love this fic. i am going to write deleted scenes / bloopers because there are a lot of things i wanted to do but didn't and a lot of the fic got cut do to whatever reason, but yeah, stay tuned for that.

continue to deleted scenes!

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:25:14 GMT

a little less 16 candles, a little more touch me, 2006
the sacrifice of life; living well is the best revenge (part one)
travis / william, gabe / william, 11 557 words (nc17)

-- i still remember the days when you didn't feel the need to escape and every demon you never face is the reason you're not safe; please understand that you've had every chance, you've had all the time, all the time in the world

gabe forbids ryan and brendon from even talking to each other for two weeks thanks to their colossal fuck up and making him look like an idiot. he doesn't threaten to kill them, because he is not maja, and he even takes brendon aside when he is seen looking like a dejected puppy one day and says, "i'm sorry kid, you know i love you and i would make out with ryan every chance i got, too, if i were you, but i have to keep up appearances."

there had been a definite shift in power since gabe and maja's fight, and no one seemed to mind this except for maja. it wasn't that she didn't care to take charge, because she was giving orders to find pete every day. it was that gabe was deliberately going behind her back and dismissing her orders, stripping her of any power she had left. he told tom and mike to put the knives away and go get a drink somewhere, forced alex and ryland to count the blood shaant had delivered rather than let them go out to track, and had to lock felix in his room because he was being so blindly obedient. he called them all to the sitting room one day and flat out told them they were not in some war against pete wentz, that he would find pete on his own and he would take care of whatever needed to be taken care of.

he had been doing so, sure, when he wasn't busy lounging around the house looking bored and haughty, but handsomely so, thinking up random activities for the dandies to do. he rationalized putting off finding pete to the fact that they had already been to his apartment and he had left town in a hurry. he didn't attack ryan and brendon because he was a bad person, he was scared and confused and if gabe was right, he wouldn't be back any time soon.

in the meantime, maja would have probably killed him in his sleep for his blatant disrespect towards her, if he had slept with her at all. he moves right into william's room and the two of them don't leave it for days, fucking as loud as they can to get on her nerves. it is childish of them, and downright rude, but gabe doesn't care. he's taken enough of maja's bullshit for too long to even want to put up with it any longer. if she wants to hold a grudge for the rest of their immortal lives, she can, but he knows she'll get over it sooner or later. some days he wishes she would just leave the coven to him, it would be much easier that way, but he doesn't dare think past that thought lest it lead to something else much more dangerous.

it happens though, not the way he would have expected it to, but it happens.

she leaves in the middle of the night, slides a note under william's door that says, "if you think you can handle it" and doesn't say a word to anyone. she leaves half of her clothes though, so gabe and william both know she's just being a dramatic bitch and she'll be back. she's left them before, when it was just the three of them. but she always came back.

it takes gabe all of two minutes after they find the note to decide that the dandies are going to be fun, easy going vampires free of drama and secrets and all the bullshit that has been plaguing them lately. it takes a little less than two weeks for his dreams to be shattered completely. however two days after maja leaves, william has his most brilliant idea ever.

-

"i want to go hunting," william states, nodding. he is lying on gabe's shoulder, their fingers entwined and resting on his chest. he can hear laughter from downstairs, rain falling steadily outside the window, the sound of brendon and audrey doing each other's hair from the next room.

gabe stares at him, eyebrows raised. "we don't need to hunt." he points out, nudges william in the rib and pulls him closer, kissing the side of his neck. "there's an entire storeroom of blood downstairs waiting to be poured into that delicious mouth of yours, drink that."

william makes an impatient noise and pulls away from gabe's kisses but fails. "i don't mean hunting like we used to hunt, but gabe, don't you miss the rush? don't you miss being feared?"

"gorgeous, being feared is what almost got us burned at the stake that one time," he murmurs against william's skin. "if you recall."

william sighs, content with the way gabe's mouth feels against his neck, his tongue following the lines of jutting veins. "oh right but-- gabe, stop that!" he pulls away and scowls at gabe's toothy grin. "i miss the days when people knew our names, now we're just a memory, just folklore told in small towns."

they both sit up and sigh. it seems like such a long time ago that they were the names being whispered around town, two rent boys who had an appetite for blood and a penchant for pleasing rich, married women whose husbands would find them dead with half of the house's wealth gone missing. it's how they made their way from city to city: stealing and drinking from the rich, feeding off their knowledge of the world, of society, of how to act mortal in their two person world of immorality. they became quite good at it, they stayed in london for years, gabe selling their stolen goods in back alleys, william falling hopelessly in love with young writers, inspiring stories of a man who never aged, only william's true self wasn't hidden in a painting.

when maja returned to them, they had to leave. they had overstayed their welcome, anyway, had made too many friends who all quickly became enemies. gabe often thinks, it would have been okay to stay a few more years, to push their luck and continue the jokes about the fountain of youth for a little while longer. if only maja hadn't come back to them then.

"it's all different now," william thinks out loud. "it's not just us, we're the dandies." he is nodding his head with pride but gabe suppresses a laugh, covering it up with a cough.

"william," he asks, shaking his head. "can you imagine anyone running in fear from a group called the dandies?" gabe can see it written on william's face, the ideas he is having. william raises an eyebrow, shrugs his shoulders innocently and smirks. gabe says, "i wish your brain could shut up, you're getting ideas of grandeur, i can tell. stop thinking." william kisses him on the neck, biting him playfully. "oh, what, now you want sex?"

william nods, pulling him down by his shoulders and laughs, "c'mere." gabe grins, all teeth and a glimmer in his eyes that says william will feel this for days.

-

"do i have to wear this?" jon asks, tugging at his jacket and looking up at the brim of his derby, the way it is flattening his hair against his forehead. "i'm gonna get hat hair." in the corner, brendon is checking himself out in a mirror, audrey is tipping her bonnet over her hair so that the flowers show, hiking her skirt up and laughing at keltie who is twirling around ryan. he, most of all, looks like he was meant for this kind of attire. and ryland, of course, sipping tea from fine china while alex smokes a pipe.

victoria refuses to wear a "hooker dress with added flounce," as she calls it, so she wears william's old clothes, adjusts the suspenders and unbuttons the first few buttons on her shirt. other than jon, and the occasional frown from nate who misses his multi coloured hoodies, they all go out content with their new look, gabe and william feeling as though they are back on the streets of paris at the turn of the century.

their name spreads quickly, like wildfire, like a town crier has shouted it out to everyone around. they are the seducers of young men and women, the mysterious presence you can't help but be drawn to, they are the best night of your life. they are the well dressed, well educated, articulate and stylish children of the night, who disappear as the sun rises. they are the whisper on everyone's lips, the sound in everyone's ears, the image of a crowd of derby hats disappearing around a corner burned into your eyes as you stagger to your feet. they are perfection, harmony, young and lithe. they are the dandies, and they cannot be touched.

for two glorious weeks, they are gold, they are invincible. maja may have been out of her mind, but she kept the vampires at bay. they lived in fear of her, of what she would do to them if they came too close to her family. no vampire had stepped foot in their town while her name rang loud and clear in the streets. she could leave, for months at a time, but their home would still be safe. gabe and william know that she is behind the unraveling, that she spread the word of her possibly permanent departure. that she caused this, all of this.

for two glorious weeks, the dandies are invincible, that is, until the first few show up. not a coven, a pack.

these vampires are wild, they are not a family, they are not graceful, not effortless in the way the dandies are effortless. they steal, they break into houses and drink while children are sleeping soundly in the next room. they vandalize old buildings, school playgrounds, they are going through the town and destroying everything they touch. they are laughing down an alley way until they turn the corner and ryan ross asks, in that perfect monotone that once made william beckett weak in the knees, "having fun?"

alex, victoria, spencer and the butcher are beside him, standing in a perfect line. the other vampires look at them and laugh, until william steps out of the shadows, peeling white gloves off his fingers and shaking his head. they are silent when he speaks, slowly backing away as he walks closer. "boys, good evening," he nods, and tips his hat to them. "tell me, where are you off to on this beautiful night?" he looks at each of them, sizing them up. there are ten in total and they have the dandies outnumbered, but their fearful glances around the alley for an escape route tell william that won't be a problem.

one of them finally says, "we were leaving, just--" he stutters, but william is impressed that he spoke at all. "--going home."

william nods again, "yes, home." his voice is quiet, all around them, noise seems to be waiting for him to finish speaking. "you just came from someone else's home, though, didn't you?" he looks at the vampire who spoke, but he has backed away between two others. "you broke into that woman's house and you had your fill-- all of you." william's voice raises slightly, echoes in the empty space. "you left her there to die and that is just, well, in my opinion that's just unacceptable." william walks up to the closest one, lowers his voice completely and says, "you're going to go home, you're going to pack your bags, and you're going to leave this town, tonight." he turns around and walks back to the dandies.

spencer chuckles under his breath. "we'll be checking in on you tomorrow night, to make sure you're gone. and if you're not, we'll know, and our friend here will see to it personally that you're escorted out." he gestures towards andy who is grinning toothily, hungrily.

they all turn to walk off, william in front, ryan and spencer just behind him, alex and the butcher behind them. victoria lingers, biting at her thumb nail idly and chimes in, "they don't call him the butcher for nothing." she heads off with a quick glance back at the vampires and joins her family.

-

victoria says, "we have a problem, gabe," but he waves her off and walks away. she follows him down the corridor, rolling her eyes. "gabriel, we have a serious problem."

he turns around and shakes his head at her. "tell it to william, honestly, if i hear the word problem one more time today i'll shoot myself in the face with the uv rounds." he continues to walk and she continues to follow him because when victoria says serious, she doesn't mean brendon was playing with the holy water and burnt himself again serious, she means serious.

however, she interrupts that thought process to ask, "i thought those weren't ready yet."

"they're not," gabe says, casually. he's loading his crossbow, checking and double checking that it will work properly, pointing it at random spots on the wall, at the mirror, at victoria's head. he does a double take at the annoyed look she is giving him and decides it's best to explain. "they don't work the way we want them to, not yet at least. so far the rays don't get into the blood stream but they burn so we've been using them on our little emo friend downstairs." victoria nods along, half understanding. she starts to point at the cross bow with a raised eyebrow, but gabe interrupts her thoughts and starts talking again. "the guns aren't ready yet and i'm not about to get my hands dirty."

gabe turns and starts walking again, but he continues talking so victoria takes the hint and walks with him. sometimes gabe will do this and no one will listen which always results in a dramatic outburst on his part and the retelling of whatever he was telling in the first place to the entire group. it is almost always annoying.

"i don't know what she's doing, actually, but it's fucking amazing. sometimes i wonder what goes on in that mind of hers and sometimes i think that all the bleach she used to dye her hair when she was still mortal seeped into her skull and created something beautifully genius. either way, she still can't spell for shit." he's walked them all the way down to the basement where he pushes open a heavy door and smiles at audrey as a quick hello.

"i think i've figured it out," she whispers excitedly, but notices the crossbow and makes a face. "i'll tell you about it later," she decides and goes back to her work. gabe and victoria walk to another smaller room where the butcher and sisky are sitting on opposite sides of a chained vampire.

gabe asks, "have you decided to deliver my message for me?" he gets no reply, so he presses on. "listen, this should be really easy for you. do you want to live or do you want to die? i don't like taking the lives of other vampires, okay, it's not my style. maybe a hundred years ago, sure, but nowadays i've got more important things to deal with." he takes a moment to let this all sink in, but it doesn't even seem to register. "you killed a family," gabe says, disgusted. "two children, the mom was pregnant-- we don't do that kind of thing. you children, you think it's okay to stroll into a town and take what you want but it's not. this is our town and you can either tell your little friends to leave, or i can kill you now and i can kill them later." he looks at the vampire square in the eyes and half hopes that no one is listening. "don't make me do this," he whispers.

the vampire looks at gabe and sneers. "fuck you, old man." gabe sighs, he points his bow at the vampire's heart and shoots, slings it over his shoulder regretfully and watches the dust fall.

victoria nods, looking more annoyed as the time presses on. "now that we've taken care of that, gabriel, i was saying that we have a very serious fucking problem that you need to attend to right now, and don't tell me to tell william because he went out with mike and tom hours ago and they're not back yet."

gabe actually does drop his crossbow.

the first thought to cross his mind as he hurdles up the stairs wordlessly is that william's been taken captive and is currently being tortured for information. he will be held for weeks, weak and deprived of blood; he will be near death when gabe finally finds him. gabe looks at the grandfather clock in the corner and wishes for more time. he doesn't get much of a chance to freak out though, because as soon as he turns the corner, into the entrance hall, william walks in, muttering to himself, tossing daggers and guns and a crossbow identical to gabe's onto the couch completely disregarding the fact that they are all covered in blood and staining the upholstery.

mike and tom are both completely silent as gabe follows william into the bathroom. he is standing over the sink, shaking his head and unravelling the torn fabric of his shirt from his chest and around his shoulder. he notices them in the doorway and says, "are you gonna stand there looking like an idiot or are you gonna help me?" mike and tom glances at each other but william is talking to gabe who walks over to him slowly.

"mother fucker stabbed me," he seethes, turns the hot water on and grabs a hand towel, dampening it. he throws the remnants of a once crisp white shirt into the sink violently. "ruined my fucking shirt, fucking circus freaks."

gabe is quiet because he knows when william is pissed off, it's better to just listen to him rant and not to talk at all. william looks into the mirror and winces. there is the end piece of someone's dagger sticking out of his shoulder where it was broken off. he grits his teeth and pulls it right out, his fingers slicing on the edges as he does, spilling more of his blood onto the floor.

aside from wondering who william thinks will clean all of this up, gabe is glad that they got back when they did. he pulls william into a hug, suddenly, william's veins spilling onto his shirt, his blood warm and inviting. gabe would love nothing more than to take him upstairs and lick his wounds clean but he is obviously weaker than he is letting on, and more than annoyed. gabe kisses his good shoulder, holds him tightly and knows that when he lets go, william will be okay. sure enough, when he pulls back to kiss william on the mouth, there is a satisfied grin where their lips touch. "go upstairs, okay," he suggests, and william nods. "i'll be right up, i just have to put this stuff away." gabe takes the towel from the sink and wrings it out, presses it into william's shoulder and kisses him again, for good measure. he calls mike over to help william upstairs and it's a testament to just how hurt he is that he accepts, allows mike to half carry him up the stairs while he holds the towel tight against himself.

victoria doesn't even need to be told what to do. she heads back downstairs to get him some blood and probably to inform everyone down there of what's just happened. when william and mike are safely at the top of the stairs, gabe turns to tom. "what happened?" he asks, trying to stay calm, but he needs to be angry at someone right now.

tom manages to explain explain pretty well, though. "we found them all, or at least we thought we did. they didn't want to listen, so we were gonna leave-- william said he wanted to avoid a fight if possible, so we walked away and they stopped us, had some guys hiding out or whatever. anyway, mike was still in the car when he heard so he brought all that over--" he points to the blood stained couch and continues. "i mean, we weren't even armed, these guys were bold."

"why does william have a gaping fucking wound in his shoulder, tom, get to that part why don't you." gabe's arms are crossed over his chest and he is leaning against the door frame, tapping his shoe against the hardwood.

"okay, sorry," tom says, avoiding gabe's gaze. "it was just a couple of guys at first, five at the most, but they surrounded us. they've got more than we do," he recalls, sounding a little more worried. "one of them got mike in the back, it was just a graze, it's healed already. and they got pretty close to killing me. it happened fast, william just wasn't paying attention."

the end of the story is already written out on tom's face and gabe really should have known. he has seen this happen once before, long before, and that was the last time that william ever killed someone. still, he has to ask. his voice is quiet, quieter than it was even when he was trying not to be heard. "what did he do?"

tom sighs, he almost doesn't want to say it. "they're all dead," he whispers, finally. "he killed them all, didn't even let me and mike near them. i think the only reason he was still standing is because he was, fuck-- he was livid." gabe nods, and any anger he had towards mike and tom has since vanished. his original thoughts were that they should have made sure no one got hurt, but this is something entirely different.

he leaves tom to attend to william, and on the way upstairs turns back to thank him. the butcher and sisky volunteer to clean up william's blood, probably because they want to stay out of the way for now or maybe, as gabe suspects, because they like finger-painting.

william kicks victoria and mike out of the room when he is settled; gabe sees them standing outside of the room when he gets upstairs, along with ryland, nate and alex who asks, as nonchalantly as he can manage, "everything okay?" gabe nods and gives them all a look that explains he can handle it from here. he waits until they are on their way down the stairs-- still peeking their heads around the corner for a glimpse-- before he opens the door and slips inside.

half hidden under the covers, william is curled up, his feet bare and sticking out at the bottom, and he is sobbing. mike has bandaged his shoulder up again and gabe can see that his left hand is tightly wrapped as well. gabe can't help but think that william is perfect in this moment. he is ever so graceful when he cries, biting his bottom lip, his eyes closed, eyelashes wet and clinging to each other, silent sobs causing him to flinch. his chest is heaving, his breathing uneven. gabe locks the door and goes over silently to lie beside him in bed.

william immediately melts into his arms, the warmth of gabe's body pressing against his, but not too tight.

"i never want to do that again," he breathes, his voice a shaky whisper "i don't know what happened--" he starts to say, but gabe interrupts him.

"they stabbed you, the fucking circus freaks." he kisses william's hair and smiles. "you were protecting mike and tom and i don't blame you. if i had been there, i would have done the same thing." william nods but he still isn't convinced that it's okay.

when gabe and william were alone once, one of the times maja had disappeared for whatever reason, gabe had gotten restless. they were passing through some random town and he had a craving that william and sex and the blood of livestock couldn't fulfill, but the people there were suspicious and superstitious and he ended up locked in a jail cell with an hour left of night and the sun lingering dangerously behind a purple sky. william had found him, saved him, and the following night he destroyed the town singlehandedly. it wouldn't have been safe for them if those people had gotten the news out of two men who drank blood and burned in the daylight, so william did what needed to be done, but the act alone was enough to make him stop completely. right there, they both swore never to kill again.

from then on, they only picked their victims up at bars and clubs, took as little blood as they could, only as much as they needed for the night, and made sure whoever it was wasn't seriously injured before leaving the scene.

everyone they had sired followed the same rules, respected their principles and never had a thought about disobeying them. it was the code they had to live by. no human, regardless or the status of their mortality, was ever killed by a dandy-- until tonight.

"i killed that kid we took last night," gabe sighs, more to make william feel better than anything, because he didn't want to admit it. "you shouldn't think too much about it, william, this isn't like before." william makes a noise somewhere between a whimper and a scoff, nuzzles into gabe's shoulder and sniffles. "these guys aren't innocent. they're robbing, they're killing, they're a fucking menace and they're giving peaceful people like us a bad name." he pauses because he wants william to understand that all of this is necessary. "i've given everyone permission to kill any vampire that disturbs the peace. this is our town, our territory, and if we don't protect it, who will?"

william doesn't want to admit it but he agrees. it didn't take very long after maja left for the town to become overrun and gabe was right-- someone needed to do something about it.

"how's the shoulder?" gabe asks, and william just sighs dramatically. gabe reaches over and takes the glass victoria was kind enough to pour (because william always complains that drinking out of the plastic hospital pouches is weird, whereas brendon drinks them with a straw like it's capri sun or something) and sits up, lifting william with him. "drink," he says, tipping the glass against his mouth.

before gabe can even ask him if he wants more, william is scratching idly at his chest with a pout that tells him to fill it up. he drinks three entire packets and ends up sucking on gabe's neck for good measure, his hand stroking him slowly under the fabric of his pants.

gabe would protest, tell william he needs rest and relaxation, but this is pretty relaxing and gabe knows his body is already healing itself, his insides readjusting. his skin is perfect once again, creamy and smooth under gabe's fingertips, warm with the flow of fresh blood. they can allow themselves this moment to get tangled under the sheets as they slowly peel each other's clothes off, gabe unravelling the bandages from william's body, kissing him slowly, like they have all the time in the world.

-

he only remembers that victoria said they had a problem when he wakes up in the middle of the day to the sound of brendon on the piano.

"there's a new coven in town, much bigger than any of the ones we've seen, might even be bigger than us." gabe scoffs, because it's not the size of the coven that matters, it's organization and dedication, a good base of operations and mortals you can trust. it's loyalty and love and integrity that matters, and style. style always wins out in the end. victoria snaps her fingers in front of his face to get his attention back and continues. "i was out with alex, ryland and nate and they found us, requested a meeting with you or william, smug bastards. but i don't know, they didn't seem like the others; they were somewhat civilized, didn't try to kill us or anything."

gabe nods at her, opens his mouth to ask a question, but she already knows what it is. "i just talked to ryan," she says, "went down the chain of command since you and william were busy," she smirks, her eyebrows raising. "he agrees that we don't negotiate, not anymore. it's our town and we don't share. they'll either let it go or wreak havoc and we'll see them again, either way," she shrugs, the end of her sentence lost in the sounds of ryan and brendon singing a song they wrote, something about reinventing love, something sweet that audrey and keltie are swooning about.

it's better to be safe than sorry, gabe thinks, so he tells victoria to call shaant and find out as much as she can about this new coven. civilized as they may seem, gabe isn't taking chances anymore. they thought the circus folk were virtually harmless, just a bunch of bearded contortionists and juggling clowns, and look how that turned out.

she comes back to him a few days later while he is sitting in the library with his feet up on the desk and completely interrupts his moment of peace. "they're from new york, been around maybe ten years, at the most, and there's a lot of them." gabe sifts through the papers she put on the desk and has to wonder how shaant comes up with these things and whether he and the boys have a life outside of vampiric goods trading, making black market purchases and apparently stalking vampires. there are semi-detailed profiles of several members, photos and an exact location.

"i think i'll thank shaant personally for this," he says, smiling, but victoria is actually kind of concerned.

"they have a new leader, gabe, did you get to that part? after ten years of being in new york, they get a new leader and come out here? for what? that can't be good." victoria isn't usually one to worry, so gabe leans back in his chair and looks at her seriously. "maybe we should rethink that whole no negotiations thing," she suggests, and he nods.

he stands up and walks to the front of the desk beside her, sits on the edge and nudges her in the arm. "i'll talk to william about it, okay, don't worry so much." the sun is rising outside, he can feel it; it makes his skin crawl, makes him shiver with a cold that he should probably be used to by now, but isn't. "we should both get some sleep," he tells her, "we've had enough work for one day." they walk out of the library together and gabe takes the papers to show to william.

everyone in the manor is already in bed and drifting. it's been a long few months for them all. the snow on the ground is barely there until it is swept away by harsh winds, a furious storm in the middle of a bitter day.

when christmas comes, they celebrate the way they have always celebrated: together, gathered in the sitting room singing christmas carols and sipping wine, exchanging presents and catching each other under mistletoe. they let themselves forget that outside the walls of the manor, something big is brewing, something they are caught right in the middle of with no way of escaping.

-

william rolls his eyes and groans, "you did what?"

tom looks back and forth between gabe and william who are scowling in the same way, both of them shaking their heads. "no one else was here," he explains. "victoria took alex, ryland and nate to shaant's, the butcher and sisky are getting the new daggers from sarti's, mike, michael and felix are still taking care of the football players and someone had to be here when audrey and keltie came back."

"which is exactly why you should have gone and left him here!" gabe throws his hands up in frustration. "what if there was someone there, you idiot? what's he gonna do, attack them with puppies and rainbows and fucking hugs?"

from the other side of the room, william shakes his head. "brendon can't take on the mimes by himself. he'll end up befriending them, taking them out for frozen yogurt, losing track of the time and becoming a pile of dust in a shopping mall parking lot." he pulls out his cell phone and dials brendon's number but of course he doesn't pick up. william glances at gabe and says, "he's probably not even there anymore."

"listen," tom interrupts, "i sent him out there about two hours ago. he's a good man, he'll do his job, i promise you." gabe and william raise their eyebrows at each other. "he'll be there. the job'll be taken care of."

gabe and william silently decide it's just not a good idea to trust this task to brendon alone. "ryan," william calls and he comes out of the kitchen tossing grapes into his mouth, spencer and jon in tow. "we need you to go back out and get brendon, he went to check that the mimes have left, which they probably haven't because they're arrogant little fuckers."

ryan's mouth completely misses the grape and it hits him in the eye. "by himself?" he asks, and doesn't ask any more questions, just heads back to the kitchen to put his grapes away and grabs his jacket from the coat rack by the door. spencer and jon go with him, both glancing at tom and trying not to laugh at his impending doom.

"we should kick you out of the dandies," william suggests, but tom sticks his tongue out and laughs.

"you wouldn't have the guts," he teases, as william walks towards the basement.

he turns back before heading down the stairs and laughs, "probably not, i'd make the butcher do it."

-

"why do covens have to be themed?" brendon asks, rolling his eyes. he looks down at the mime, pleading silently not to be killed and shoots him between the eyes, his body disintegrating before them. he and ryan continue walking around, making sure everyone un-dead is now completely dead. "i mean this is just getting ridiculous. we've encountered circus folk, cowboys, those pirate-like ones, jocks, the all girl coven, and now fucking mimes."

ryan nods along, turning over tables but thankfully finding nothing but dust and slowly disappearing bodies. "i know what you mean man. i think we're the only coven that isn't like that." he shrugs, and they join jon and spencer back at the car. ryan shakes his head, they didn't find anything, tosses the guns and bows in the trunk and glances at brendon who is staring at him, incredulous.

"ryan," he says seriously. "look at what you're wearing."

"what?" ryan asks, looks down, confused, "i thought this was just how we dressed." spencer laughs out loud and jon has to hold onto the car to keep from falling over.

brendon realizes as they are getting in the car to leave that the cavalry was called in for him. he scoffs to himself and asks, "wait a minute, didn't they trust that i would get this done?" no one says anything, they just avoid all eye contact with him. ryan goes as far as whistling, jon coughs. "those two sons of two bitches, remind me when i get home to shoot them both," he laughs and adds, "at close range."

the car ride is short but brendon manages to smack his head on the back of the seat when spencer stops too suddenly which causes them to burst out laughing for the third time since they left the warehouse. they saunter into the manor, jon shouting ahead that brendon didn't marry a mime and have mime babies while he was gone, but when they get to the sitting room, everyone is gathered around looking serious. william and gabe are standing in the middle of the room exchanging a look that says, fuck.

"you should probably sit down," gabe says.

jon and spencer are looking at them, confused, but ryan and brendon already know what's going on. "where's keltie?" ryan asks, scanning the room. william shakes his head. "she and audrey didn't come back." it isn't a question, more of a realization that he never wanted. his voice is small, too quiet for everyone to hear; brendon says nothing at all.

"that coven," gabe starts, "the one i should have taken more seriously-- i'm so sorry-- they picked them up about an hour ago. we just got the call, they want to meet with william since i've already denied them."

the chain of command is as follows: maja, as head vampire, the leader of their family, however estranged she may be at times; gabriel, her second, her first, the one she has been with the longest; william, maja's child, gabriel's love, the glue that holds the three of them together and finally; ryan, who gave them a family, a home, a reason to exist for all eternity. this decision lies with him and him alone.

"it's dangerous," he says, "it's obviously a trap." brendon stares at him, appalled, he looks as though he might cry. ryan looks up at william and says, his voice shaking. "but we have to get them back, you have to bring her back to me."

william's lips curve into a crooked smile and he nods.

the house is alive with sound and scattered movements, guns and daggers being stored in the trunks of cars. the butcher and sisky spend too much time admiring an old sword gabe had stashed away while victoria slides a sharp wooden stake up her sleeve. ryan and brendon are quiet, collecting holy water from the cellar (because in a situation like this, sometimes you have to fight dirty) and speaking in hushed whispers, ryan's bottom lip trembling, brendon's eyes red.

they park the cars far away and walk to the house, just a random, old, boarded up house. it is nothing like their house, nothing like their home. it doesn't have a big tree in the yard, like their tree, the one brendon pushes audrey on in the summer time. it doesn't have a fountain to sit by, to read to each other like alex reads to victoria, which always leads to a bigger audience to listen to him or them passing the book around after each chapter. this house doesn't have christmas decorations up, despite it being well into january. there isn't mistletoe hanging in the doorway or a wreath or a wonky looking snowman that sisky made and mike destroyed.

william thinks, there isn't anything worth loving here. these vampires, whatever their agenda, they must be doing these things for foolish reasons. they couldn't possibly understand what it's like to protect someone.

the plan is that william goes in alone, they will all wait for him. it shouldn't take more than fifteen minutes and if it does, they will have no choice.

gabe pulls william aside and asks him, "are you okay?" and william honestly can't answer. he knows if this goes wrong, people are going to die tonight. even though they've had to kill quite a few vampires to keep the city clean, william has managed to stay away from it since the circus coven. he will threaten, he will intimidate, he will go as far as to injure someone if they're posing enough of a threat, but he won't kill anyone. he shrugs, not really paying attention. he has to concentrate on this task, right now. he has to save the damsels in distress and somehow save the city because the city is at war and no one else seems to want to help. gabe's hands are on his shoulders, pulling him close. "you don't have to do anything, okay, you can sit in the corner and sip tea for all i care." he kisses william on the mouth and smiles, reassuring him. "i will take care of you," gabe says. "as long as i am alive, i will take care of you. i won't let anything hurt you."

when william knocks on the door, he is calm and composed and completely ready for whatever will happen. he is let in by a dorky looking kid with big hair, the kind of kid who you would send to wave the white flag. he says, smugly, "we've been expecting you," and lets william in. the hallway is dark, not lit by elegant lights like in the manor. it is small and crowded with too many people, too much going on, there isn't anywhere to escape to, to be alone.

"where are my girls?" william asks, getting right to the point. the kid mutters something about, follow him or right this way or something like that so william just goes in the direction he goes and keeps his eyes focussed for sudden movements, his senses working extra hard to detect if something is wrong. they are here, he knows that much. the smell of audrey's perfume still lingers in the entrance hall, keltie's flowery shampoo hangs in the air.

the kid stops outside of a room and turns to william. "sorry it had to be this way, but we needed to make sure only you came." he shrugs and is about to open the door but william stops him.

"why?" he asks. "there's seventeen other people in my family you could have played mind games with, why me?"

the kid shrugs, "wouldn't know, the boss doesn't really tell us much, but he has his reasons. said it had to be you, no one else." he pushes the door open and reveals audrey and keltie, sitting pretty in their old fashioned dresses, looking incredibly bored. william holds his hand out for audrey to take and she hugs him to say hello. keltie rolls her eyes but hugs him too.

"they didn't even let us watch tv," audrey complains, "i don't think they can afford tv, but still, it would have been nice." keltie nods. "we were bored." victoria was right about these guys, william thinks. gabe told him that she said they were civilized (living in the ghetto, but still civilized). they could have hurt the girls, hell they could have killed them, but they didn't. there isn't even a wrinkle in their dresses or a hair out of place.

they start to walk away but the kid grabs william's arm and stops him. "where are you going? the boss still needs to talk to you." william slowly looks at his arm with a raised eyebrow and the kid lets go quickly.

"first of all, you should be thanking me. i'm letting you live, if only because i don't want to wash blood out of yet another shirt. you could have killed them, and you didn't, so i'm letting you live." he pauses, glances at audrey who is yawning, pulling at the ribbons in her bustier, and keltie, who is tapping her foot on the floor impatiently. "we're going now, and you're not going to follow us or contact us or have anything to do with us anymore. i'm just here protecting my family, and if you want this to end well, you'll let us go and protect yours too."

the kid starts to interrupt him, something about how that can't leave, something about the boss. it's annoying and william's patience is running thin. "the boss? what is that-- is that a codeword? i got a codeword for you: fuckin dead." his voice is raising steadily, his last two words emphasized, but he isn't yelling; william beckett doesn't yell in the face of those lesser than him. "you took my girls off the street and you brought them here to do what, exactly? you haven't hurt them, haven't tried to get information out of them. you just wanted to play fucking games. you ever pull something like this again, you ever come near my family, it'll be the last thing you do." he turns around, still holding audrey's hand and starts to walk away again.

audrey turns back and sticks her tongue out at the kid as keltie adds, "you should probably leave town like, tonight. william may be forgiving but his boyfriend sure as hell isn't."

another vampire stops him on the way out and at this point, william is about to punch someone in the face. at this point, keltie looks as though she might punch someone in the face. "william," the other vampire says, "travie would like a word with you."

william is suddenly aware that he is shaking, audrey squeezes his hand in a concerned sort of way and glances at keltie, confused. "what did you say?"

the vampire repeats himself. "travis would like a word."

william turns to audrey and smiles. "i'll meet you at the car," he whispers, and she nods at him, links arms with keltie and starts to walk out of the house. william calls after them, "if i come back and you're doing your nails like last time, i'll kill you. you know how i am about the upholstery!" she glances back at him and bites her bottom lip, nodding. so she can't spell simple words and messes up basic sentence structures, but at least she understood the code. if he's not back in ten minutes, the dandies will have no choice.

the door closes behind audrey and keltie and william turns to the second vampire. "take me to him."

the walk up to the second floor of the house feels like forever. william's feet stick to the floor, his limbs are weighing him down. he has to stay focussed on what's happening here and not what's happening outside of the house. gabe is probably furious and nervous and terrified all at once. the boys and victoria are probably restless, tapping shoes against the cold concrete. ryan and brendon are probably sitting on the curb holding keltie and audrey in their arms and not listening to a word they say about how they aren't hurt.

the vampire leads him to a room at the end of the hall, smiles simply, and lets william push the door open. he steps inside and closes it behind him. travis is staring out of the window, a cigarette in hand. "took you long enough, shit," he says, the same drawl william loved to listen to complain about work and bills and william using all the toothpaste. he turns around to face william and smiles, but everything is different. aside from a few new tattoos, and his hair style changing, his eyes are lighter, his jaw is awkward, his teeth taking up too much space in his mouth.

"what did you do?" william asks in a small voice, meek and sad. he is barely aware of his actions, walking over to travis and touching his face, running his fingers over the harsh lines of his face, over his lips. "why did you do this?" he whispers, shoulders sagging, a frown on his face. "you were perfect, you were so perfect and then you fucking left me."

travis takes his hands and frowns as well but more in an amused way. "boy, did you really think i wouldn't come back?" he kisses william quickly and smiles, his teeth sharp and sticking out in a way william's not sure he can get used to. "william, " travis says, seriously, "i couldn't die in a world where you'd have to be alone."

against his better judgement, william tilts his head up and kisses travis. it is different, but still the same as it was so many months ago. they are still passionate and romantic, william sighing soft moans into travie's mouth. he pulls away suddenly and remembers what he told audrey. "i have to go," he says quickly. this feels like the first time they were together, the morning that william had to rush out of the house. "i'll see you again," he says against travis' lips. "i don't know when, i don't know, but i'll see you, somehow."

he takes the stairs two at a time and would run out of the house but he doesn't want to alarm anyone. two more minutes and they would have come storming in, killing anything that crossed their path to get to william. he walks across the street and gabe doesn't even bother asking what kept him, he just pulls william close and holds him while the other dandies start walking back to the cars.

william laces their fingers together as they walk, being as nonchalant as he can. gabe looks over at him with a frown on his face. gabe says, "so," and william smiles. "so, travis is back."

-

william has told them time and time again that travie's coven is obviously not a problem, but gabe and ryan (because gabe and william both agree he deserves more responsibility) sit william down in the library and lay out the ground rules, anyway. "under no circumstances will you be allowed to spend the night away from the manor," gabe says across the table.

"under no circumstances will he be allowed to enter this house; no vampires in the manor unless they're dandies," ryan states.

"you will not share family secrets, weapons, blood or any kind of information or resources with him. he cannot know about our daylights. he cannot know about vegas, or the mormons. don't tell him about safe houses. don't tell him about the money. he absolutely cannot know about what audrey is doing." gabe thinks of something else to say because he's sure he's forgetting important points. he and ryan exchange a glance and decide that's good enough for now. gabe reaches his arm across the table and takes william's pinky tight in his. "promise?" he asks.

"i promise," william says, amused and they link pointer fingers as well, lean far over the desk and kiss each other's thumbs.

they settle back into their seats and gabe adds, "he's not a dandy, william. he'll never be a dandy, and you will always be a dandy. you will always be part of this family."

william smiles at the both of them, and nods. "i'm not going anywhere," he assures them. "and i'm not sharing anything. my relationship with travis will exist the way it did before, only now we have an ally against the other covens. he's willing to help us, if you'll accept his help, that is." he is smiling in a way that says he knows gabe will accept, smug little bastard.

"if we need his help," gabe decides, "we will ask for it. otherwise it's best for them to just stay out of our way." he and william are staring across the table at each other, sneaky smiles playing at their lips. ryan coughs, making his presence known, but neither one of them are paying attention.

"i'll just go now," he mutters, says something about checking in on keltie and leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

william stands up and walks over to gabe, sits in his lap so they are facing, william's legs long and dangling at gabe's sides. "everything is different now, eduardo," he whispers, tongue rolling the r with perfection that gabe knows he has been practicing for centuries. "we're not alone anymore, we don't have to be. i know sometimes you want it to be just the two of us again, and sometimes i want that too, but we've both spent too much time being alive instead of living." gabe nods in agreement, and he truly does understand what william is saying. "everything is different now," he says again, "the world is changed."

gabe leans up and kisses him, his tongue gentle on william's lips. he pulls away and smiles, "eugene," he croons, and william immediately melts into his arms because only gabriel saporta can make a name like eugene sound perfect, the harsh g fading out against william's lips. "the world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold." william grins toothily at the words, recalling a time when he had read them in a letter given to him by a playwright, a soon to be novelist. gabe kisses the corner of his mouth and closes his eyes. "the curves of your lips rewrite history."

-

"fuck," william breathes, sinks his teeth into travie's shoulder and moans around his skin, nails dull and digging into his back. he has never tasted travis this way before and it is strange the way his blood spills into william's mouth. william's not sure he can get used to this. travis tastes different now. his skin used to be sweet mingling with sweat and tasting of honey, now he is bitter and metallic and all william can think about is that the blood running through his veins is no longer his own.

he misses the way they used to be. travis used to make him feel more than just alive, he used to make william feel human, and that's something he thought he had lost forever. it was the way he was always warm, the way he didn't nee blood or sex to warm him, it was just him. william misses the way he used to breathe, the way he used to swear he would quit smoking because it would kill him, now he just does it out of habit. william misses the way he would smoke on the balcony and talk about how beautiful the city looked when the sun was high in the sky, how william should come around and see it sometime.

he misses the way travis helped him control his bloodlust, without even knowing it. william was always in control of his cravings, always able to just shake it off and hold out, wait until he got back to the manor. now travis' blood is right here for the taking and william decides that drinking from him is something he won't do again. to him, travis is still mortal, still perfect and flawless and able to bask in the daylight at any time of day.

he closes his eyes and smiles, because travis feels the same. he is still all ribs and broad shoulders, arms around william and holding him tightly, like he is going to lose him. they are tangled in bed sheets illuminated by the light of the moon just outside of the window. the air is crisp and cool, a winter still lingering in the streets, still clinging to the branches of trees.

they are a perfect fit, william thinks, his legs wrapped around travie's waist, kissing the corners of mouths, nibbling on earlobes. they are a perfect fit, hips colliding and hands roaming freely over delicate skin. he shivers against travie's touch but he is warm inside and out and breathing a steady stream of sighed moans and low whimpers.

"i missed you," he sighs against travie's skin. "i missed the way you feel." travis agrees in a moan and kisses william's neck. it's things like this that make him think of the first few times they were together: the excitement, the thrill, the sloppy kisses and fumbling hands. he can't help but think, how many times did they end up just watching a movie, just lying in bed tracing their fingertips over hipbones and ribs, over veins and major arteries.

travis is so deep inside him that he is dizzy, drunk off the taste of his blood and wanting more, but that isn't a part of who they are together. together they are perfect, they are wild and they are carnal but blood has never been a part of it and william doesn't want it to be. he likes travis the way he is, with smooth skin and no scars (the one on the side of his neck from whoever turned him makes william the slightest bit jealous, the slightest bit nauseous whenever he sees it). he prefers travis to be only skin and ink, all over his arms, his chest and up his neck. william likes the way he is thin and lanky under baggy jeans and big hoodies, but he has always been a strong guy and now he is powerful in this incredibly sexy way that william feels on his wrists, on his hips and right between his thighs.

it is strange looking at him, at the way his face has changed, but william loves him regardless of how different his eyes are, how sharp and threatening his teeth look. as long as he holds william's hand and whispers i love you's into his ear, as long as they sleep with travie's nose pressed against the back of william's neck, arms around him and holding him tight, as long as they can lie in bed together and just exist, he will be happy.

a noise that sounds somewhere far off interrupts his thoughts but travis just fucks him harder. it's more like making love, though, because he whispers an i love you and a you're beautiful and makes william blush just slightly. it is the nice, deep kisses in between sharp breaths and colliding hips, it's the hands on the small of his back and the tongue around the edge of his ear that has him shaking, biting down on his bottom lip and collapsing into travie's arms.

"your phone," travis says, amused, but they lie down and recuperate for a moment, wiping off their chests and grinning at each other. travis nods his head in the direction of william's phone and he decides to find out who called because it might be important.

he reaches over and grabs it from the floor, sees brendon's name on the screen and redials his number with a sigh. when brendon answers he is serious for the first time in his life, frantic and running up stairs as he speaks, shouting to spencer about where to put the guns.

"shaant is coming to pick you up," he says into the phone, and william is slipping into his pants before he can even finish his sentence, buttoning his shirt with one hand and looking around for his shoes. "the punks have gone and joined forces with the goths and they are seriously pissed off." brendon takes a moment to tell audrey to get his mother on the phone, then says, quietly, "we need you here, beckett."

he looks at travis, who nods, understanding that something urgent has come up and william hangs up after agreeing to come right home.

--

THIS WAS TOO BIG FOR ONE POST LOL

continue to part two of part three!

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 08:05:38 GMT

a little less 16 candles, a little more touch me, 2006
the sacrifice of life; the tragedy of the human condition
gabe / william, 7812 words (nc17)

-- i'm watching you change, it doesn't have to be this way, it gets harder everyday so you keep numb to feel safe; fuck what you know, can't you see its shallow? every time you swallow-- do you get a taste of what you've become?

gabe isn't able to convince maja that william won't disobey her if he's around, that all he needs is the firm hand of an elder and the situation will be okay. she won't budge. he hasn't been allowed to leave the manor in two weeks at maja's insistence and he's spent every minute awake, lying in darkness, sad and dejected and wanting to die. he won't drink anything for days at a time, won't even have fruit or vegetables to sustain himself.

"william." ryan whispers, careful not to speak loudly in case anyone is in the hallway. "william you have to eat something," he says, pushing the plate of grapes forward. he takes a sip of wine (william has outright refused to take blood from anyone other than gabe and even then, he says he won't unless he's in dire need) in an attempt to tempt william but fails, miserably and ends up setting everything aside and climbing in bed with him.

"just go," william sighs, defeated, but ryan slides his arm under william's neck and pulls him close.

"i'm not going anywhere, you moron." they lie together in silence until ryan can't take it any longer, forces william to open his eyes by scraping his teeth over william's jaw and laughs at the annoyed face he makes. "stop acting like a baby," he demands, but follows up more seriously. "you're the light at the end of my tunnel of immortality, beckett. you made me what i am, you gave me everything i have; if you fall apart, i'll fall apart."

william looks at him, incredulous, more than just a little annoyed, and scoffs. "look, i'm flattered, really. you think your life won't be the same without me, but you have keltie. you have keltie and brendon and audrey, you have spencer and jon. you have someone else, ryan, everyone has someone else." ryan thinks, finally, he's saying what he's wanted to for so long. william thinks, it's a bad idea to say all of this. "you have someone and i have no one, i have nothing anymore." he thinks he should really stop now, but the ball's rolling and ryan's listening intently, so he continues. "he loved me, not because i could offer him some cursed half-life, because i'm me." he opens and closes his mouth as though deciding whether or not to say anything more and just settles on sighing, his shoulders sagging into the bed. ryan tilts his chin up and kisses him, something he hasn't done in a while, and it feels like the first time, like the night ryan played notes on the piano downstairs and unbuttoned william's shirt carefully, his hands shaking, breath short and eyes avoiding the situation.

back then, william was gentle and helpful, brushing ryan's hair out of his eyes and kissing his shoulders to calm him. back then his kisses were soft for a different reason. now he is weak, his body perfectly content to just give in. william lets himself get caught up in the moment, lets himself be nostalgic for a time that was simple, when his happiness depended on ryan's eager hands, his legs entwined with william's under the blankets and the quiet sound of gabe's laughter in the next room.

ryan kisses him to cheer him up. all william can think of is how travis used to kiss him to say hello or goodbye or this movie is boring, i don't want to watch it anymore. travis would kiss him to say, oh we exist.

william pulls away and stares at ryan for a moment, then smiles. "you're perfect," he says, "and you are loved all around. don't forget that." he closes his eyes and ryan takes that as his cue to leave, because he hasn't been able to get william to eat anything and he has to get to sleep sometime today if he wants to be up and functioning tomorrow.

the door opens and william can hear a conversation going on in the hallway. "still nothing?" gabe asks and ryan must be shrugging now, because ryan shrugs quite often when he has nothing else to say. "hmm, maybe i'll have more luck with him." he can hear gabe leaning down and pulling ryan into a grateful little kiss, rushed and wet but still enough to make ryan blush as he hurries off to his own room. william rolls onto his stomach, buries his face in the pillows and sighs heavily. he hears the close but doesn't bother turning around. "how's my little baby vamp doing today? devoid of emotion, cranky and annoyed, starved for the blood of beautiful young women?" william groans into the mattress which gabe takes as a friendly remark, so he joins william in bed, but not before stripping out of his shirt and kicking his shoes off (he wasn't wearing socks to begin with).

he knows william too well, knows he is hungry and aching, that his bones feel brittle and his skin feels foreign. he is freezing, even though he's spent every second under blankets, he is a popsicle of a person and gabe is determined to fix him even if it kills him (again).

he settles in on the bed behind william, kisses the back of his neck right where he likes it and smirks at his ability to make william beckett's entire body tense up despite being completely drained of all energy. gabe nuzzles against william's neck, pulls him close and wraps his arms around his tiny frame, presses kisses into his shoulder blades, his back, wherever he can get him. "you need something," gabe says, finally, and he is glad to feel william's toes are defrosting. "what can i do?" he asks, desperately. "what can i do to fix you?"

william turns around and frowns, all he does is frown lately. he mumbles something like defeat and gabe might have to yell to get his point across. of course, that would mean waking everyone up and he's not about to do that, so he just gives william a little shake and groans. "drink," he says, annoyed, turning his head to the side. "you need it and i'm full to the brim. i'm not leaving here until you've had something." he closes his eyes and sighs, waits until he can feel william's breath hot against his skin and then he smirks.

william's teeth sink into him with ease, his skin breaking like damp paper mache, blood seeping out like it wasn't meant to be contained in his veins. gabe has to admit, he loves hearing william make little noises when they do this, little guttural moans and delighted gasps, sucking too hard and drinking it all in, his tongue soothing gabe's neck back to normalcy.

gabe unbuttons william's pants (straight black slacks now that he no longer has to keep up appearances) and slides his hand under the thin fabric. william is painfully hard and now, feeling him, so is gabe. every inch of him is hot and aching, his hips thrusting up against gabe's hand but his mouth still on gabe's neck, intent on taking as much as he can to keep them both functioning.

he finally stops, breaks away so he can bite down on his own bottom lip to keep from moaning gabe's name too loud. gabe leans over and kisses him, the taste of his own blood in his mouth now, and before william can demand that gabe fuck him, he's yanking william's pants off with one hand, sliding down on the bed and sucking at the skin below his hip bone. he always loves to be a tease but this is clearly not the time, so he laughs at william's impatient little noises and takes him in completely, pushing his hips down as they automatically rise. it's been a while since they've done this, what with william being a dejected puppy and all, hiding out at all hours of the day and night, but they always manage to find themselves quickly when they're together.

gabe doesn't miss a beat, sucking hard and deep with careful precision, with an eager tongue and no teeth (because the last time he pulled that stunt, william smacked him). he holds william's hand in his own and trails lazy fingers over his thighs, works his tongue in ways distinctly gabe, distinctly perfect, and swallows with no hesitation. he moves back higher up on the bed, pulling his pants off as he does and pushing william's legs apart, slides in nice and easy, their fingers still laced together. william moans loud enough to wake the whole house, but gabe could care less. he bites into william's chest and drinks him in, slams their hips together in the perfect rhythm and watches william jerk himself off while he holds him down.

they slow it down somewhat, gabe pressing their chests together and pulling william up to kiss him deeply, tongue and teeth and too much blood passed between the two of them. william's arms wrap around gabe's shoulders, he rests his head down and closes his eyes, breathes smooth and soft, hot against gabe's skin. there is something sensual in the way they fit, william thinks, and sad in the way he can still miss travis when gabe is so perfect.

he had years, decades, centuries of loving gabriel with all his heart, of learning every bone, every muscle, every inch of his body and how it works. he only had six months to learn about travis, but he learned so quickly.

gabe enjoys being kissed on his collar bone, travis beneath his earlobes. gabe likes long, drawn out kisses, likes looking at william for prolonged periods of time to see if anything has changed over the years (and nothing has), travis likes short, sweet smooches and quick goodbye kisses, he likes lying in bed with his eyes closed, running his fingers over william's skin. gabe makes love to him slowly, for hours and hours like they never have to stop and they don't, they have forever. travis makes love to him with something to prove, because william always has to leave.

in a way, william almost prefers gabe because they will always be together. they will never grow old, they will never die, they will always be as they are. there is something heartbreaking, he thinks, about being with travis and knowing that their time together will always be limited. it's easy to love gabe, but he can't help himself, he has to love travis as well.

william hums melodies to songs he can't remember, traces music notes and hearts and i love you's into the skin stretched across gabe's shoulders. his thoughts drift far away, he's in neverland flying with fairies and lost boys and peter pan.

william remembers reading the first draft of that book and falling so intensely in love with it he didn't want it to be published, wanted to keep it to himself. gabe thought it was too fantastical, he didn't appreciate it until william explained that they would never have to be like that; they would always be lost boys, would never have to grow up and lose each other. william thinks, he and travis had six perfect months, but he should have faced reality sooner. eventually travis would be gone for real, and william would be peter pan, alone and living forever and forced to forget.

-

gabe wakes him up in the middle of the day and says, "come on, get up, we're going."

maja has been gone for exactly four hours (to some girls thing in london, and already ryan and brendon have hopped back into bed with each other to make up for the time lost since audrey and keltie joined the dandies) but william thought better of trying to escape the manor when the sun was out in the sky, bright and foreboding. gabe thinks otherwise.

"let's go," he repeats himself, and rolls his eyes at william's confusion. "shaant's waiting for us, we won't get toasted, don't worry." he grabs william's shoes from the floor and throws them on the bed. sometimes william wonders about gabe's motives, about why he does things that are obviously so destructive, and this is clearly one of those times.

"what are you doing?" william asks, grabbing him by the arm and turning him back around.

gabe laughs, a sad sort of laugh, but kisses william on the nose. "i want to meet the competition," he says, simply. "and anyway, you know i don't mind you with other people, but i thought he should know that he's not the only one. you're with me. you've been with me for two hundred and fourteen years, eight months, two weeks, six days, fourteen hours, twenty three minutes and i'm not about the count the seconds right now." william blinks at him, shoes in hand, and watches gabe's mouth curve into something of a frown. "but if you're miserable without him, if you want to spend the rest of your immortal life lying in the dark, wasting away because you can't be with him, well, i want to meet this guy. i want to know what's so great about him that you don't need me anymore."

he leaves william in the room alone with his thoughts and after a few minutes, william follows, goes around to the cellar door and waves a silent hello to shaant and jeff. "remember," shaant says, pointing a finger at gabe, "if she finds out--"

"yeah, yeah, you had nothing to do with this. you were out of the country, you were visiting your parents, you were on an alcoholic binge, in rehab, whatever." shaant shakes his head somewhat skeptically and goes around to the front of the van. gabe climbs in after william muttering something about silly mortals.

the drive over is quiet and quick and william wants to leap out of the van and take the stairs two at a time to travis' apartment, knock on the door and fling himself into travie's arms, but he has to wait for shaant's okay or he'll probably end up in a pile of ashes in the street. when jeff finally comes around to open the door, william manages to compose himself, follows gabe and shaant (who has to come and check things out in case there are any open windows or particularly bright passageways) to the elevator and pushes four. they all wait in silence, gabe tapping his fingers against the wall of the elevator. william can hear the steady beat of gabe's heart, the annoyed breaths shaant is taking, the blood pumping through his own veins, fast and excited and scared all at once.

shaant leaves the elevator first to check things out, goes to the door and says, "this can't be good." he pushes it open, walks inside and makes some noise, then comes back out. "i closed all the curtains," he whispers to gabe, "but there's no one here, and the door was wide open. are you sure this is the right place?" william stares at them for a moment, then pushes past gabe and walks into the empty apartment, glances around at six months of lying in bed and watching movies, of eating dinner and drinking fine wine on the living room carpet. six months and there's nothing here anymore, not a stick of furniture left in the place. the only remnants of his life with travis are the heavy curtains hanging dangerously against the window. william walks to them, reaches out and touches the fabric, remembers the way they feel against his bare back, against his hair and his hands.

"hey," gabe says, quietly but frantic, "get away from there." he pulls william away and frowns in his general direction, gives shaant a look that says, plainly, give us a minute. as soon as shaant is out of the room, the door closed and the sounds of him calling jeff on the phone, william shoves gabe away from him, changes his mind halfway and decides to pin him against the wall with his fingers pressed into gabe's neck.

"where is he?" he demands, his voice a low snarl in the back of his throat. gabe has only seen william this angry once before, when some nosy peasant threatened to expose them, and in that situation, william ended up soaked in blood like the floor of the stables, the hay unrecognizable, the noises around the house unnaturally absent, the horses having run off from all the screaming. he was protecting his family, protecting the people he loved, like he is now.

there has never been any doubt that gabe has always been stronger than william, and he could stop this silliness right here, but he lets william be angry and says, slowly and simply so he understands, "i don't know."

"did you do this?" william yells, slamming gabe's shoulders against the wall. "did you have something to do with this? fucking answer me!" he's about to push gabe against the wall again, but gabe reaches out and holds his arm, shoves him off and shakes his head. he takes a moment to decide exactly how he's going to go about this and settles on not losing his temper.

"would i do this to you, william?" he asks, quiet and calm. "look at you, all distraught, over what? over a human. you're hurt, i can see that quite fucking clearly. now tell me," he says, "would i ever hurt you? have i ever hurt you?" he starts to walk out of the apartment, leaving william alone in the empty room, the walls still painted the way he suggested when travis wanted to switch things up. "he's not here, eugene. i don't know where he is, but he's not here and you're not going to get him back by staying." gabe opens the door and says something william can't quite hear to shaant. he can hear them leaving, can hear the elevator ding. he knows they won't leave him here, but he takes his time walking back to them, closes the door and glances over his shoulder as he walks away, just for once last look.

-

"at least he's out of the house," brendon shrugs, looks around to see if anyone is agreeing with him and is only met by frowns and confused looks. it's all boys tonight since the girls are still away, which means half of them are at home trying to convince gabe that mtv is quality television while he no doubt yells at them because he has actual work to do, and the rest are out chaperoning william to make sure he doesn't throw himself in front of a bus. what he actually ends up doing is meeting pete.

in his prime, in the days of luring pretty boys back to the manor for a quick fuck and a drink they won't remember in the morning but will just suspect is a hickey gone too far, in the days before travis, william would have already had pete on his knees in a bathroom stall. tonight he is sitting at the bar with his fingers dipped in his drink, swirling the ice around the glass. tonight he is trying to fake being happy but gabe is at home ensuring that their way of life can continue and he's the only one who can actually force william to have fun.

what he actually ends up doing is telling pete his entire life story (minus the blood sucking bits) and listening to pete's tales about his torrid affairs with younger girls. what he actually ends up doing is going back to the same bar the next night so they can continue their conversation. like ryan, like mike and sisky, like the butcher, like michael and tom and especially like travis, pete is someone william finds himself immediately attracted to. there is something about the way they are both damaged beyond the point of any real repair, the way they both think they will probably be alone forever and don't believe there is any way to remedy such a fate. there is something about the way pete seems to understand all of william's innermost thoughts and feelings, and doesn't think less of him for it.

gabe likes pete too, but not enough that he wants to induct him into the dandies without maja around to approve. he comes to the manor and talks music with ryan, let's brendon do his hair, he watches mtv with alex and nate and honestly thinks it is quality television. william doesn't know if he suspects anything but if he does, he doesn't mention it.

when the girls come back, maja accepts pete as an acquaintance but her patience is still running thin about the whole travis thing, so she strictly forbids any more manor visits and warns them all that if one word is said to him about what they are, she'll kill whoever said it. sometimes william thinks she is he most frightening person he knows, but he understands that she has to be that way sometimes, to protect them all.

it becomes easier for him to fall back into the pattern of his life as it was pre-travis. everything settles-- ryan and brendon give each other the same sneaky glances when audrey and keltie aren't looking, mike and tom are their usual bickering selves, making up with harsh kisses in empty corridors, alex and victoria keep everyone up at night with her screams and his loud, pleasured moans. they all gather in the main sitting room to listen to brendon play the piano, hear sisky ruin even the best of songs, to listen to gabe and william's stories. everyone is happy again, effortlessly happy, and william sort of realizes that they've always been happy, that he was the only one who didn't truly appreciate the family he has. he decides that he'll never take them for granted again, because now they are all he has, and he would truly be lost without them.

he wakes up one night in gabe's arms, their clothes laying haphazardly around on the floor, their toes touching under the blankets. it's hard not to be happy when he wakes up like this, to a boy who has loved him since people rode around in carriages, whose love has never wavered, never faded, has only gotten stronger and more passionate as the years drag on. it's hard not to be happy, but sometimes he finds there is an involuntary frown on his face, and it's just as hard not to miss travis.

there's been no sign of him since that morning william left his apartment. gabe has been kind enough to help him look. william knows it is only because he asked gabe to that he complies, and also, he suspects, so gabe can have the satisfaction of knowing that while travis is off wherever, he is right here. it's kind of a jerky thing to do, but william knows if he was in gabe's shoes, he would relish in that feeling.

gabe and william have been going around, asking old daylights that still keep in touch, calling friends all over for a whisper of where travis could be. gabe swears up and down he had nothing to do with his sudden disappearance, and neither one of them can admit to maja that they even went back to his apartment, so this is what they do for now.

william doesn't know what he would say to travis if he sees him again, but he is almost positive his words won't be kind.

-

it's halloween when keltie informs them that some club in the middle of the city is giving away free drinks to everyone in costumes and spencer and jon find gabe and william's hidden closet of embarrassing nineteenth century attire. they dress to the nines, they encourage ryan to wear two scarves, not just one, and the most ridiculous hat he can find. the girls end up looking like whores in maja's old dresses (because prostitution is the world's oldest profession and in her day, she was a professional) but gorgeous whores, at that. maja, who had adapted to time periods pretty well, looked somewhat silly with her hair pinned up and a corset on, but still undeniably beautiful.

gabe and william, however, are in their element. for the most part, unless forced to dress otherwise, the two of them always wore slacks and dress shirts and were frequently the subject of jokes about their cloaks and fur. william always explained that he didn't care for this century's jeans and sneakers, and while gabe was sometimes found throwing on a hoodie (because he is always a fashionista and needs to match) he often complained that t-shirts are ridiculous and baseball caps are for baseball players.

jon laughs for at least ten minutes when william pulls gloves over his hands, his teeth more visible as he smiles broadly. "you look like those old fashion rent boys," jon says, holding his stomach.

gabe wraps an arm around william and smiks. "how do you think he met oscar wilde?" he asks, nudging william in the side. "the eighteen hundreds were hard, jonathan, we had to make money somehow." no one is sure if he's telling the truth; william simply rolls his eyes and pins his cloak on, ignoring any further questions being thrown his way.

within minutes of entering the place, keltie and audrey have picked out a pair of couples for them, ryan and brendon to snack on later. gabe and william decide to take advantage of the free drinks that won't get them drunk anyway and meet pete at the bar who is dressed like a vampire, fake blood, fangs and all. william has to admit, he looks cute, and william has never really been interested in him romantically. pete and gabe check each other's outfits and gabe decides that pete's fangs are much more realistic and scary looking.

at the end of the night, after half of them have gone home (or gone out to back alleys and dark corners to feed on the blood of innocent young partygoers) gabe and william drive pete home. he's too drunk to drive himself and they can always walk back to the manor since it's still dark out. they both help him upstairs and into bed, take his shoes off and lie with him for an hour talking about peter pan. gabe is usually too smart to fall asleep outside of the manor but william assures him with a look that says he'll be the responsible one tonight. he drifts off to the sound of pete and william's voices, quiet and giggling.

pete says, "you know, i'm not an idiot." he turns on his side and smirks, vampire fangs sticking out too low to be concealed. william's own are aching-- he hasn't had anything all day except for beer and peanuts and he can feel it in his entire body, his toes, his fingertips, he can feel it in his tongue and the way the fake blood is dried around pete's neck is making his nauseous. pete says, "i know what you guys are."

he could be talking about anything, he could be about to say, i know you and gabe are big dorks or complete homos or swingers. he could be about to say, i know you guys aren't actually just the children of rich california socialites who have come to this city to waste your lives on booze and adventure (which is the lie they told him). he could be about to say, i know you guys are vampires.

"i kind of don't know what you're talking about," william frowns. "i should wake gabe up, we should be going now." he thinks, pete was such a great guy too. he had become a valued part of their inner circle, worthy of becoming a daylight if maja had allowed it, but the way he is careful about saying all of this, about staring at william, serious and quiet and no longer giggling about captain hook, william thinks he might have to kill him.

"it's okay," pete shrugs, "it's kind of hot." he reaches out and touches william's lips, brushes his fingers over the corner of his mouth and smiles. "can i see them?"

william thinks, this is not good. "we really should go," he says, and just gets out of the bed, starts walking around so he can wake gabe up but pete grabs his arm and stops him. william shoves him off, a little more than upset that gabe is such a heavy sleeper especially when the occasion calls for him to help william change the subject.

"i want you to suck my blood," pete says. william would smack him but he's a little more than appalled at the statement and how incredibly high school it sounds. like, i want you to be my first or i want you to tell your friends we're dating or will you call me later? i had fun tonight. he wants to tell pete to fuck off but he is pulling his shirt down and craning his neck to the side, the harsh lines in his bones illuminated by the light of the moon seeping in through the window. william is and always has been a sucker for exposed veins and pretty boys who are eager to be bitten.

"you haven't had anything all day," pete says, suddenly. "i've noticed, i've noticed the way you work. the way you don't drink anything for days at a time, i can tell because you're always weak and clinging to gabe like you're about to pass out. and he'll take you somewhere, another room, the bathroom of the bar, wherever. i see it happen all the time, and when you come back you're both glowing with this energy that just fills the room." william scoffs under his breath, wondering how pete can be so incredibly naive about all this. "i want to feel that, i want to know what it's like to be that happy."

william shakes his head slowly, he tries his hardest not to yell but there is an anger that clings to his voice, threatening to raise at any moment. "you think this is happiness?" he asks. "you want to know what it's like to hurt someone physically, maybe even scar them forever, you want to feel something well, i don't feel anything. it's not a glamourous life, the life of a vampire. you don't understand."

pete walks to him slowly, puts his hands on william's shoulders and grins at him. "help me understand, william. please."

william wants to say, you're an idiot. it's not all fun and games, drinking blood from wine glasses in a lavish manor and having sex all day (although it is mostly fun and games, drinking blood from wine glasses in a lavish manor and having sex all day) but this life also comes with darkness and cold (william hasn't been able to watch the sun rise since 1792). it comes with an eternity of watching other people grow up and have families, have children and grandchildren and not being able to partake in that. it comes with screams and terrified pleading and nightmares of things william doesn't even want to think about. he wants to say this life comes with knowing that everyone you love will die and leave you and you will always be alone.

instead he says, "this is a stupid fucking idea," but he runs his fingers down the line of pete's neck anyway and eyes his veins like they are the only thing in the world.

"wait," pete whispers. "i want to see." he turns around, his back to william, and stands still in front of his dresser, stares into the mirror and watches them.

"this is going to hurt," william whispers back to him, "but it'll feel-- it'll feel good too. i won't take too much, okay, tell me if you want me to stop." pete nods fervently and william sighs. william knows this is the worst idea he's had in a lifetime of bad ideas but he does it anyway.

he wets his lips and kisses the skin at pete's neck, grazes his teeth over the right spot to reduce the initial pain and then he bites, teeth piercing pete's skin with ease, blood rushing out into his mouth. pete gasps, softly, he's gritting his teeth to keep from yelling out in pain but william can tell he likes it at least on some level because he is hard, pressed against the dresser and moaning. he holds william's hand tightly and tilts his head more to the side. at first he keeps his eyes opened, watching william suck on his neck gently, tiny moans caught in his throat, the right parts of his body pressed into the small of pete's back, but then he closes them, tilts his head back and whispers, "don't stop."

william is not about to let go now. pete's blood is warm and different than anything he's ever tasted; in it lingers the faint taste of alcohol, but he is sweet like honey and he feels like champagne running down william's throat.

pete grasps at the fabric of william's shirt, lets go quickly and steadies himself on the dresser. "okay," he pants, his voice shaking, "okay, stop."

but william doesn't hear him. his blood is the first mortal blood he has tasted since travis left and mortal blood is better than he remembered. william sucks him in, sinks his teeth in deeper and relishes in the way the blood feels as it spills over pete's neck, as he drinks it down, taking much more than he had intended, greedy and perfectly content to be so. he is warm all over, his body temperature rising rapidly every time he swallows, the blood filling his own veins as quickly as it enters his body. he feels dizzy now, his vision is blurred so he just closes his eyes, still holding pete's hand, one arm wrapped around his waist to keep steady.

gabe grabs him by the shoulder and pulls him off just as pete falls to the floor with a sickening thud. "what the fuck are you doing?" gabe asks, and for the first time in a long time, he sounds scared.

william looks at him at a complete loss, for a moment there he didn't even realize what was happening. gabe rushes to pete's side and pulls him up so he is sitting. as william passes the mirror he is shocked to see what he looks like: blood on his mouth and chin, trickling steadily down his neck. his eyes are darker than they've ever been. he shakes himself off and wipes his mouth with the back of his sleeve, turns to gabe who is frantic on the floor.

"you fucking killed him," gabe says, and a stream of no, no, check again, what the fuck, oh fuck no, escapes from william's lips before he, too, is on the floor kneeling beside pete's body. gabe looks at him for a minute, and william already knows what he has decided to do. he sinks his own teeth into the skin at his wrist and pulls pete up with his other arm, holds his hand above pete's mouth so the blood drips into his throat. "come on," he whispers, and it takes a minute but pete's eyes flutter open and it registers that gabe are william are there. "pete," gabe croons, "drink, peter, here." he lowers his wrist closer to pete's mouth and william watches as instinct takes over. pete grabs his wrist and drinks earnestly, only pulling away when gabe tells him to.

william stares from pete to gabe who he expects to be angry as hell, instead gabe smiles at him and says he's wanted to turn him for quite some time now. he suggests they take him to the manor, so they do.

-

they leave him in an upstairs bedroom with ryan and brendon to watch over him (they spend most of the time making out instead of doing any actual watching) and gabe volunteers to wake maja up since she's less likely to bite his head off.

"you fucking idiot!" she says to william. she looks like she might slap him, and william is prepared for it, but she doesn't. the whole house is gathered in the sitting room because she felt it was necessary to inform them about william's stupidity (only they all sort of like pete, so it isn't that big of a deal to them), all standing quietly around glancing at each other, having quick conversations with their eyes.

gabe clears his throat and steps up beside william. "don't blame him," he says calmly. "he may have killed pete but i brought him back, i take full responsibility." he nudges william in the side when maja turns around, she's pacing the room muttering to herself in swedish and throwing them nasty glances every now and then. "maja!" gabe yells, to get her attention, and walks up to her. "there's no need for all the dramatics. he's one of us now, it'll be fine. what the fuck are you so pissed about?"

she grabs him by his shirt and pulls him down so they are face to face. "i'm pissed because your fucking boyfriend doesn't know when to stop, does he? first what's his name and now peter fucking dressed like a vampire for halloween wentz? he is ruining this coven one mortal at a time, that's why i'm fucking pissed off, gabriel. i might as well kill him now to save us all from his next fuck up because who knows what that'll be!"

it takes a moment for the words to reach everyone's ears, and when they've all heard there are quiet scoffs and rude glances thrown maja's way. mike shakes his head at william in a forget about it kind of way but he is standing in the middle of the room feeling like an idiot so the gesture doesn't have the right effect.

gabe nods at her and turns to walk back to william but changes his mind mid-action. "you know what," he sighs, and before maja can even reply, he has her pinned to the wall, his hand over her throat. "you know what," he repeats, and she smacks his hand away but he is holding her shoulder and she can't get out of his grip. "this is my coven too, and i have a say in what goes on. i didn't say anything when you started making up your own rules, i forgave you when you had us found out in paris, when we were run out of london, i stood by you even after you killed entire families to satisfy your hunger. william and i have burned villages to cover your tracks so when i tell you-- and i'm only going to tell you once-- when i tell you that pete is not a problem, you better fucking believe that pete is not a problem."

the room is completely silent but he lowers his voice anyway, and everyone just listens more carefully. "william will not be harmed, do you hear me? if you touch him, if you hurt him in any way," gabe chuckles under his breath and everyone in the room can agree that this is why when william jokes that he is to be feared, he is not actually joking at all. "if you touch him, i will tear you apart limb from limb with my bare hands and nothing else and you will beg for death before i'm through."

he lets go of her and walks back to william, takes his hand and starts to walk away. william doesn't look at maja, but he glances at gabe's face where a satisfied smile is spreading across his lips.

ryan and brendon rush down the stairs, brendon rubbing his side and ryan holding his head where the tiniest bit of blood is collecting in his hair. "gabe," ryan says, panting from having run down the stairs so quickly. "pete's gonna be a problem."

gabe opens his mouth to ask how but brendon speaks before he can, "he sort of attacked us and took off--" he waves his arms around frantically, "--went fleeing into the night!"

behind them, maja chuckles to herself and slinks up the stairs back to her room.

--

i love this fic

my american: technically there should be no keltie
me: yeah but technically i don't like jac

those flashes of william biting pete in the sixteen candles video didn't look like an attack to me, it looked kind of sexy so i wrote it that way. maja is fucking crazy and i love her like no other. i also intensely love gabe saporta and want him to father my children. the past few days have been the worst days pretty much ever due to the loss of my baby, beckett the ipod, but writing this cheered me up. . . a little bit. this is going to have to be three parts since it is getting seriously EPICALLY long but the third part is definitely the last part.

oh and i also wrote a short dialogue for the last bit but it would be the kind of thing you see in bloopers not in the actual movie / tv show.

brendon: seriously, what were we supposed to do? fight him? no way, dude looked crazed
ryan: i know man, he was pissed, i don't think he wanted to be a vampire
brendon: you think? he went all fucking mental on us, i mean granted he like-- you know, caught us off guard
ryan: would you shut up about that before someone hears
brendon: oh right, ha! ha ha, oops.
spencer: you're both idiots

:]

continue to part three!

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 05:07:42 GMT

a little less 16 candles, a little more touch me, 2006
the sacrifice of life; so long as we keep our bodies numb we're safe
travis / william, gabe / william, 6811 words (nc17)

-- here is why you're sad: you're miserable when he is close, so take another drink, another drink will numb those senses and make the most of flesh and bones if it helps you fall asleep.

the thing about william is, he is weak when it comes to pretty boys; being a pretty boy himself he understands how hard it is to resist them.

maja always told him not to get attached when it came to relationships, that he had to be able to walk away at a moment's notice, but that didn't stop him from falling for ryan. it was hard not to, the way ryan was awkward in the corner of the room, sipping soda water while everyone around him was spilling beer onto the floor. the way he rolled his eyes at nothing in particular and nodded at brendon, spoke in that perfect monotone that made william weak in the knees, "sure, sure, have another, i'm obviously driving home tonight, again."

it was hard for william not to saunter over, whisper sweet nothings in his ear and convince him to abandon his friends, leave them to drunk driving and possibly death to follow william back home, fuck for hours and wake up a completely different person.

of course, gabe saw something in ryan that he found particularly appealing as well, so they let that one slide.

maja saw something in mike that she wanted, badly, so when william dragged him home, barely able to stand, drunk off too many shots of tequila and an entire bottle of jacks that didn't affect william in the slightest, she took him back to her room and didn't return him until a week later.

he didn't mind though because between gabe, ryan, brendon, spencer and jon (who ryan had felt it was necessary to include because he got bored with nothing to do all day and needed someone to talk about the beatles and tom waits to), bill had plenty of activities to keep him busy.

their little family had grown quite large in a short amount of time, and yes, it was all william's fault for trusting loud mouth ross with such a delicate secret, but even he had to admit that it was warm and welcoming and something like a home when the lights all went out and the quiet sounds of conversation and laughter and love making were heard through the walls. he had to admit that it was nice seeing keltie and ryan, arms linked, playing the grand piano while brendon deliberately sang off-key so audrey wouldn't feel bad about her lack of vocal range. he couldn't help but smile at the way alex would whisper in victoria's ear and she would surreptitiously pass the message along to ryland, as if no one saw them. the way nate and michael and felix would create different soundtracks to their shenanigans that no one would remember later.

he especially loved the way maja and gabe would watch over them like proud parents, not sitting at either end of the dinner table like william remembers his own parents did when he was a child, but beside each other, gabe's hand on maja's thigh, her fingers tangled in his hair and tilting her glass for him to drink from.

they were the perfect little group, all of them content to live with and love only each other. nothing could stop them, no force in the world could tear them apart.

it was travis who ruined everything, travis who was the problem. it wasn't because william fell in love with him-- because william had fallen in love with every single one of them in his own unique william-like way-- it was because travis fell in love with him and travis wasn't one for sharing.

of course, maja and gabe weren't there to stop it but everyone else should have seen it from the beginning: the way travis walked up to william, not the other way around like it usually happened. the way william managed to blush with what little blood he had left in his body from before. the way william waved both tom and mike off and didn't even say goodbye to sisky as he grabbed his jacket from the butcher and took off with a complete stranger. usually, it wouldn't have been a problem, because william was known for his frequent bed-mates, but he didn't bring travis back to the manor that night. instead they went back to a small apartment not far from the bar they were at and travis changed everything.

-

william grabs his jacket from the butcher and hops, skips and jumps a little faster to catch up with travis who reaches back and takes his hand. "c'mere," he says, "we're goin to my place, it's not far," and even though william knows this is already the worst idea he's had in a lifetime of bad ideas, he agrees and laces their fingers together, grins at travis who offers him an equally toothy smile right back.

he has to wonder if travis would have picked him out of the crowd if he had been dressed the way he usually dressed-- in slacks and dress shirts, jackets with coat tails and his derby hat. keltie had found this club a few weeks back while her and ryan were off on some adventure and swore she liked it for the abundance of drunk college students and not for the music they played (which was a lie because as he was leaving, william swears he saw her and audrey climb onto the bar with victoria). she had made sure the boys left their hats at home so they could blend in, because blending in was certainly not their forte, although after much complaining she had allowed ryan to leave the house wearing one of his grandma scarves and william's fedora. it was ryan who named them the dandies, and william has to think, of course ryan came up with dandies, he's the biggest dandy of them all.

tonight he is wearing a regular grey hoodie that nate had ordered online, one of those plain ones that apparently wasn't made in a sweat shop that was so popular with the kids these days, and one of ryan's old band t-shirts. he has on jeans that a one night stand had been wearing, and didn't care that gabe made fun of the way they don't have a zipper but a piece of string weaved through and tied in a bow at the top. he is still wearing his boots though, he doesn't know how the younger boys can stand to wear sneakers or flip flops for that matter, or how the girls wear no shoes at all in the summer.

they get to travis ("call me travie.")'s place in record time, climb four flights of stairs and struggle with the door handle. granted, it is much smaller than he imagined, probably smaller than the upstairs sitting room in the manor, but he doesn't care about that right now. travie kicks off his shoes and william steps inside, shuts the door behind them and makes sure it locks.

"i heard your cute little blond friend say you were all goin back home soon, and forgive me for being forward but i didn't really want an audience tonight." william nods in agreement, takes his boots off and leaves them by the door and realizes he's much closer to travis than he thought he was. his arms reach around travie's neck and he has to look up, almost has to stand on his toes the way he does with gabe (though somehow this already feels like it will be much different than anything he's done with gabe) and kisses the corner of his mouth.

"they can be a little--" he pauses, presses his lips against travie's and smirks, "--intrusive, at times." and it's true. he can't count the number of times his bedroom door has been flung open and one or two or four of his friends has joined whatever was going on at the time, but he's glad that won't happen tonight.

travis pulls back a little and raises an eyebrow. "so you all, what? live together? what's that all about?"

at this point in the conversation, william would usually tell whoever is asking to shut up and take their clothes off, but something about the way travis asks doesn't sound rude, just curious. "we're like a big family," william replies, simply. "we take care of each other; always have and always will."

he thinks he might have to leave, because these sort of talks don't usually get so far and this one is starting to feel downright awkward, but travis smiles and says, "that's sweet," and before william can express the oh! in the back of his mind, travis kisses him.

it's all downhill from there (or uphill, depending on how you want to look at it), all fumbling hands and quick kisses, eager tongues and teeth scraping over moistened lips, the jutting veins in travie's neck looking more and more appealing as william sucks on his skin. travis has his hands everywhere, it's hard to concentrate on one thing but william manages, paying careful attention to the buttons being pulled apart, to having his shirt pulled over his head in between kisses. "you like my chem?" travis asks and william doesn't know what he's talking about until he sees the name on the t-shirt.

"i honestly have no idea who they are," he admits, and travis laughs, pushes him onto the bed and climbs on top.

"they're pretty cool, they sing about vampires and shit," travis leans down to kiss him again but is stopped by william's hand on his chest, which holds him up steady. travis has to wonder how such a scrawny guy has so much strength in just his arms.

william's eyebrows are both raised, "really?" he breathes, his voice low, "i think i'll give them a listen sometime." he pulls travis down by his shoulders and they laugh for ten minutes straight about how tight william's pants are and how long it takes to get them off. "they're not mine!" he whines and flips travis who is momentarily distracted with crippling laughter over so he can climb on top and pull the covers up over them.

travis sits up and pulls him closer, kisses right below his collar bone and shivers. "you're freezing," he laughs, surprised, and william nods. he's used to it by now, the lack of warmth in his life. there are a few things that can be used as a temporary solution and this is one of them. it's why he spends his days (and nights) between the sheets with maja and gabe, or ryan and keltie, spooning audrey while she and brendon eskimo kiss goodnight, resting his head on victoria's chest and holding alex's hand under heavy blankets. it's why he brings so many people home, why almost every night not spent with a member of the dandies is spent with a stranger he's picked up in some seedy bar, whether it's in an alley somewhere or in ryan's beat up old car he still hasn't gotten rid of but forces william to drive back home when he and brendon take their girls on some wild adventure. if he doesn't do this, he thinks, he'll always be cold.

travis kisses him again and something in the way his lips linger makes william's entire body melt. he's tingling from his toes all the way to his fingertips, eyes closed and his lips curved in a sneaky smile. "travis," william croons, his words getting lost in the quiet moans that escape his lips. "i want you," he breathes, "i want you right now, i want to feel you inside me." they kiss desperately, harsh but sweet at the same time, and travis pulls william down, turns them around and laughs when william tells him to forget about the niceties of condoms and hand jobs and pre-sex blow jobs that would probably be pretty amazing right now but are just unnecessary because william is burning up and he's hasn't felt this kind of heat in years so he wants to take advantage of it before it goes away.

"you're the strangest boy i've ever met," william barely hears, whispered into his ear, and he would take it as an insult but travis fucks him slowly, deeper than anything he's ever felt, pushes his legs further apart to press his hips forward and kisses his neck, holds william's hand so tightly william can feel travie's heart beat through his palm. he wants to stay like this forever, but he knows he'll have to leave before the morning comes.

william's arms wrap around travie's back to idly scratch at his shoulders, but nothing can help him be quiet right now-- the gasped moans and shaky breaths he hasn't heard himself make in so long muffled against travis' neck. william wants so badly to taste travis right now, but he's not going to focus on that when he can focus on this. still, he's starting to feel weak and dizzy. he hasn't had anything of substance for a few days and strenuous activities such as this tend to reinforce his hunger. he swipes his tongue over the skin stretched across travis' neck, but the action itself is too much for him and he ends up sucking a little too hard. travis groans in an amused sort of way and pulls away, pushes his hips forward, successfully pining william against the bed with nowhere to go and nothing to do but whimper and pout so travis will kiss him again.

"you okay?" travis whispers against his neck. william nods quickly, digs dull nails into the skin at travis' back and moans out a stream of unintelligible words that must sound something like harder, faster, don't fucking stop because travis obeys all of that and manages to flip william so he's on top.

it takes them all of two seconds to find the most pleasing angle and manipulate their bodies to ensure they can both hold out for a little longer. william is all long limbs and legs wrapped around travie's back, loud and obscene now that he's not worrying about being quiet; travis is all big smiles and flexed muscles as he holds william's body and keeps the pace quick and steady.

he can hear all the inner workings of travie's body: his heart beating wildly in his chest, lungs contracting with every gasped breath he takes, the sound his bones make when they shift, the way his muscles stretch across his arms. william listens carefully to hear the blood in his veins and it's enough to make him come, shaking and breathless, all over travis' stomach mere seconds before travis does.

william feels warm all over and it has nothing to do with the fact that it is mid-spring and the gentle breeze outside the window is a sure sign of a summer that's right around the corner. he rests his head on travis' shoulder and receives a kiss on his own. travis pulls the blankets up and moves william to a comfortable position by his side. william's eyes are closed and his breathing is steady but he feels like he's going to pass out so he's trying to save his strength. he has to leave soon, he has to make it home before anyone notices he was gone for so long. he wants to say thank you, thank you for existing, but the words are lost somewhere in the silence between them. he wants to say this is the first time in a long time that he's felt something more than just content, this is the first time in a long time that he's felt happy.

travis kisses his hair and pulls him closer and william can't complain because this is a pretty comfortable place to be. he nuzzles into the crook of travie's neck and kisses the same spot that is now bruised and red. he's too tired and drained to even process all of that now so he closes his eyes and just drifts.

-

when he wakes up, the clock on travis' bedside table says it's 3:00. in short, he's fucked. it takes him a while to find his way around the room in the dark because he is still pretty out of it, but he manages to get his clothes on without waking travis up at all. it's not until he trips over travis' pants while he's rubbing his eyes that he makes enough noise to wake an entire army.

"hey," he hears from the bed. now that his eyes have adjusted, he smiles and goes over, kisses travis on the mouth and whispers a quick hello.

"i gotta run, okay, i really gotta go." william kisses him again but travis pulls him back into bed in protest. "come on, i mean it, i really gotta go." william manages to get out of his grip and sits down on the side of the bed to say a proper goodbye. he knows that the words he wants to say are the stupidest words he can say right now, but he can't help it. something about this whole situation, something about last night and right now feels so right that he doesn't want to deny it. "i'll see you again," he says softly. "i don't know when, i don't know, but i'll-- i'll see you." they kiss once more for good measure and travis grins at him as he leaves, falls back asleep immediately after william locks the front door and makes his way down the stairs.

it's still dark out when he gets outside, which is a plus, but he's been gone for hours and no one knows where to, so he knows there won't be a welcoming party when he gets back. it takes twenty minutes to walk back to the manor and stumble down to the cellar so he can sneak in through the back door and try to play it off like he came in much earlier, but when he shuts the door behind him and locks it, gabriel clears his throat loudly.

he doesn't even hesitate. "where the fuck have you been?" he asks, and william wants to be annoyed with him right now, but he's tried being annoyed at an already annoyed gabe and it just doesn't work out well in the end. "you know the rules," he yells through clenched teeth, "you never spend the night away from the manor."

william takes a deep breath and stares at the floor. "i'm sorry," he whispers, then says it again loudly before gabe can claim he hasn't heard. "i'm sorry, i-- i don't know what happened." he starts to walk away, gets up one step before gabe grabs him by the wrist and pulls him back.

"you ever do that again--" he starts, but william sways on the spot and gabe practically has to catch him before he falls. "when was the last time you had something?" gabe asks him, fingers through his hair and his mouth beside william's ear. william just shrugs. "come upstairs," gabe offers, and half carries him along.

everyone is awake and in the sitting room but gabe takes them up and through the kitchens to avoid a scene, which william has to be thankful for. he doesn't take him to the master bedroom, instead they slip into william's room and both collapse on the bed together. william is cold again, and too weak to function, let alone move. it took all of the energy he had saved by sleeping to get him here, so gabe lifts him up further on the bed and hovers over him, kissing his eyelids.

"come on, gorgeous," he whispers, but william's eyes are closed and he's drifting again. gabe leans over him, cranes his neck so william can get a better angle and isn't at all surprised when william smiles, albeit rather weakly. he helps him with his hands and smiles as well, moans softly and quietly as william licks his neck, pulls him further down and bites.

there's something incredibly intimate in the way william does this, there always has been, especially with gabe. the way he doesn't take too much, isn't too rough. sometimes gabe can get carried away but william never does. he is always gentle, always kind, always takes only as much as he needs. gabe lays down so william can climb on top of him and continue. his lips are stained red and his body is warming up. gabe can feel how hard he is through his jeans but william can't help it now that he has a fresh supply of blood flowing through him, trickling down his chin and back onto gabe's neck. he feels like he is taking too much and starts to pull away but gabe forces him back down. "you need it," he pants, his chest rising and falling too quickly for william to ignore. he pulls away anyway and falls onto gabe's chest.

"it's okay," william says, wiping the blood from gabe's neck with his sleeve. "i'll get it from someone else, i'm not going to drain you completely, you idiot." he licks his lips, eyes closed and thinking of the way gabe and travis taste together. gabe's blood and travis' skin on the tip of his tongue.

william lies down beside gabe and kisses the other side of his neck, wraps his arms around him and sighs. gabe turns on his side and pulls william in for a kiss. "you were my first," gabe says, sad but proud at the same time. "i used to-- i used to want it to be the three of us forever, you know? you have no idea how much i love you, william."

he closes his eyes and william kisses his eyelashes, his nose, his mouth. he tilts gabe's chin up and kisses him deeply, tugs on his bottom lip with sharp teeth and runs his tongue over gabe's. william slides his arm under gabe's neck, wraps both his arms around and presses them together as close as they will go. he places as many quick kisses as he can against gabe's lips to get him to smile and when he finally does william grins as wide as he can in his weakened state. "i love you, gabriel." he never has to say it, but he likes to, because even gabriel saporta needs reassuring sometimes. "without you i am nothing, without you i am just a boy. i love you, i love you. i was the first you ever made and you are the only one i will ever love, only you."

gabe shrugs in this dejected way that truly doesn't suit him. "sometimes i don't know. am i really? you've had so many others over the years." he shrugs again and william can't exactly argue, but he does anyway.

"only because i couldn't have you, silly." and it's true to a certain degree. william is and will forever be gabe's, but gabe was maja's first, and maja demands a certain level of attention. when she wants something, you give it to her, which means that if gabe has to sacrifice time with william, he does. of course, lately, he's had a whole group of people demanding his time be shared evenly among them, and william can't complain because the whole point of their family, of their coven, is that everyone belongs to each other. he doesn't say any of this though, just kisses gabe over and over again, their tongues colliding in a way that is lovely and familiar and distinctly them. "everyone is just a temporary replacement for you, gabriel. i love you, okay, you need to know that will never change." william sighs heavily and somewhere inside him he knows that what he's saying is a lie. "i'll only ever love you," he says, his words serious and final.

gabe wraps them up in the blankets and they both close their eyes. sometimes william can't help but think that gabe knows when he is lying, but this is one of those times where it's unclear. he just settles against gabe's arms and breathes him in, whispers of i love you escaping his lips. gabe kisses his neck and he falls asleep once again.

-

he is back at travis' apartment two nights later, having needed some time to recuperate, but he shows up as soon as the sun goes down so they can fuck until midnight and he can get back to the manor without getting asked any suspicious questions. it's not like there are rules strictly forbidding him from seeing someone outside the dandies on a regular basis, but he'd rather not be the reason rules get made, so makes sure they don't get caught.

he manages to keep up a solid alibi by constantly keeping in touch with their daylight contacts. whatever business needs to go through them, william offers to take care of it. he's known them for years so he knows he can trust them to tell whoever asks that he was with them even if he wasn't.

"hey, where were you last night," gabe asks, but this is much different than the first time he stayed out. he and gabe have been like their old selves lately, flirting and giving each other looks that say, plainly, meet me in five minutes. right now they are sharing the shower, gabe's hands wandering around to william's chest to hold him steady. william presses his forehead against the cold tile and smirks.

"let's not mix business with all this pleasure," he breathes, his voice shaky and low. "shaant thought there was a problem with the supply, like we were low or something, but it was just a numbers issue. we stayed up almost all night figuring it out." he scratches at the skin on gabe's arm and kisses his wrist, sucks at the exposed veins there until he can't take it anymore and just bites, laps his tongue at the blood spilling onto the white bathroom tile. gabe has his teeth already sunk into william's neck, drinking with earnest. "fuck," william groans, "fuck me harder." he knows it's silly to think but he often wonders if gabe can read his thoughts like in those cheesy vampire movies, or harry potter. if he could, he'd know that william was with travis again last night and the night before and every night he's been away from the manor for the past three months. he would know that william still has the taste of travis' cum in his mouth and that, mingling with gabe's blood, is enough to keep him hard.

it's never been a problem for gabe to keep william pleased, but recently, william likes to think about gabe and travis together; about the way travis' hands feel on him, the way gabe's teeth feel against his neck. he likes to think of travis deep inside him, and gabe running through his veins.

recently, he and gabe like to sneak off when gabe should be with maja and pretend it's just them, but william likes to pretend it's them and travis-- not quite part of their life, but present in william's every thought.

william can continue to be with gabe during the day and travis at night and when he comes in too late or doesn't let anyone know where he is, he calls up shaant or jeff or leaves a message on their machine to cover for him. most of the time it doesn't involve much of a bribe; shaant enjoys fine wines and fruit baskets but he settles for iou's and i love you's or just plain thank you's.

it's a good system, one that he explains to travis as illusively as possible-- he says that due to an increase of gang activity in the area, gabriel and maja (who travis has guessed are adoptive parents to a bunch of lost boys and girls, which william has to force himself not to laugh at whenever it is brought up) have imposed a midnight curfew, which is of course silly seeing as william is twenty one, but rules are rules.

travis doesn't find out about anything until exactly six months after the day they met, which william makes a big deal about. he insists they stay in and cook dinner (william has been claiming that he's a vegetarian to avoid being sick), watch the lost boys and celebrate their six month anniversary the same way they started these six months-- by making love all night, only this time they can do it to my chemical romance.

travis finds out because they fall asleep and when william wakes up, his fingers are red and blistered and his skin feels like it's going to fall off. thankfully travis sleeps like a rock so in the ten minutes while he panics, violently pulls the curtains shut and hides, curled up in a lanky, thin limbed ball in the darkest corner of the room, his hand heals like it was never burned to begin with. still, it's eight in the morning and the sun is high in the sky.

when travis wakes up, thanks to william's noisy squirming and whimpers from the corner of the room, he looks more amused than confused. "i'm a vampire," william spits out, and regrets it immediately, covering his mouth with his hand.

"yeah and i'm the fuckin tooth fairy," travis yawns. "get your scrawny ass back in bed."

william rushes over to him and pulls the covers off so he can't get comfortable. "you don't understand, travis!" he yells, and is glad that travie doesn't have roommates because they would think he's a lunatic. "i'm a fucking vampire. i suck blood, i can't die of natural causes, i've been alive for two hundred and fourteen years, seven months, three weeks and five days, and sunlight kills me!" he throws his arms up in defeat when all travie does is stare at him blankly and decides to just show him.

he hides behind the curtain but pulls a bit back and sticks his hand out, gritting his teeth and preparing himself. he winces when the light touches his skin again and watches it sizzle, the longer he holds it out, the worse the burn gets. travis stares in awe for a moment, then, realizing what is going on, gets out of bed and closes the curtains, gingerly reaching out for william's hand. he inspects the burn and seems to note that it is already getting better but that a few seconds ago it would have definitely classified as third degree. william stares at his bare feet and breathes slowly. travis says, "i'm fuckin a fuckin vampire."

"what am i gonna do?" william asks him, as if travis has any answers, but both of them are lost on what to do right now.

travis is still holding his hand when he goes back to the bed and sits down, dragging william with him. "i'm in love with a fuckin vampire," he sighs, clears his throat and shakes his head. "and it's mother fuckin sunny outside."

william doesn't even care about the sun right now, he blinks somewhat ridiculously and nudges travis in the side. "you're in love with me?" he grins, and travis nods, sighing even though he's also smiling. "i'm pretty in love with you too." he doesn't know what he's going to do about gabe and maja or what he's going to do about the uv rays that are threatening his life at the moment, he just rests his chin on travis' shoulder and pouts. "what does this mean for us?" he asks, soft and childlike. "what's going to happen to us?"

travis looks at him and grins. "you silly boy," he scoffs. "you're a vampire, that's kinda hot, and it does explain a fuckin lot." he kisses william's nose and shakes his head. "give me like an hour or something to process all of this?" william nods and then suddenly, he has an idea.

"i need to use your phone," he says, and darts out of the room before travis even has time to answer. he calls shaant and says, frantically into the phone, "timothy, i need you to pick me up like, now!"

"eugene, what the fuck are you doing out of the manor?" he asks, voice quiet and worried on the other line. "okay forget about that, does the building have a basement, like a parking garage or something-- fuck gabe's gonna kill you."

"fuck gabe, maja's gonna be furious." william gives shaant all the details he needs and waits with travis until he comes. they don't do much talking, just sit in the dark silence and wait and when shaant honks the beat of some random pop song, travis grabs william's wrist, pulls him down and kisses him.

"i love you," is all he says, and william smiles sweetly at him, racing downstairs to the basement to meet shaant.

when william gets into the back of the van, maja is sitting cross legged beside gabe and shaant looks like he's already heard the worst of it. he and william exchange glances which clearly say, i'm sorry and, no really, i should be sorry, and he turns his attention to gabe who offers a weak smile.

"did you really think i didn't know?" maja asks, her accent still thick despite how long she's been living here. "did you really think you could keep it from me, all these months, that i wouldn't figure you out?" they come to a stop and jeff comes around to open the back door. gabe and maja leave, william following them. "leave us," maja orders, and william catches a glimpse of a sympathetic smile from shaant before the door closes again. she waits until they are inside, until the cellar door is locked and the van has driven away before turning to william and slapping him, hard, across the face.

gabe makes a movement like he is going to do something but is stopped by the mere look on maja's face.

"if he comes near you," she whispers, walking up to william so he can hear her clearly, "if he tries to see you again, i'll kill him." she waits for a response but neither william nor gabe are stupid enough to say anything right now. "how dare you tell him about us, you insolent child, how dare you!" she grabs him by his shirt and pulls him down. "if you go to him, i will chain you to the gates and leave you there until the sun rises. do you understand me?"

william nods and says a stiff, hollow, "yes." she lets go and storms upstairs leaving him alone with gabe, who rushes to his side and kisses his hair when he falls, a crumpled heap of worry and heartache.

"it's okay, william, you're okay." gabe shushes william's repeated apologies, kisses his hair, his eyes, anything his lips can touch and holds him tightly in his arms. "do you love him?" he asks, and william nods slowly. "does he love you?" again, william nods and gabe sighs somewhat heavily, but smiles. "we'll figure something out," he says, pulling william away from him so he can look at him. "but whatever happens, just know i will always be here for you."

william nods, smiles weakly and kisses gabe in the corner of his mouth. he thinks this whole thing might end badly but if gabe says it'll be okay, he has to believe him.

--

the reason i wrote the first part in past tense and the rest in present is because the first part felt sort of like when you're watching a movie and your friend basically tells you the plot so you're not confused and then goes, "okay let's just watch it so you can see for yourself." you pretty much know what happens already but you have to read / watch to figure out how it happens.

i have all these different things half written (warped tour fic, honda civic tour fic, gabe is a jealous slut fic, maja joins the boy's club fic) but i got severe writer's block and couldn't concentrate on anything other than beating myself over the head with everything i could find to try and get my creativity back.

and then when it finally came back i went and wrote about fucking vampires.

vampires who are totally cool, by the way. and who have so much sex, wow. i basically laughed hysterically through most of this thing. i blush whenever i write sex scenes. i truly, honestly have never loved writing anything the way i loved writing this.

pete is in part two! also, let's not get technical with the vampire stuff, i'm not anne rice

continue to part two!

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 16:48:18 GMT

the academy is; rise of the fall tour series, 2005
monterey peninsula bike scene (8/10)
mike / william, 4637 words (nc17)

-- i wanna hate you so bad but i can't stop this anymore than you can; you've got me right where you want me, let's never talk about this again because i didn't want it to mean that much to me.

in the corner of the room there is this girl, this really pretty, undeniably charming girl, and she's getting on william's nerves. it isn't because she's cute and witty, nervously tugging on her hair and biting her bottom lip to keep from smiling too much. it isn't because she keeps looking down at her shoes and blushing. it isn't even because she's unsure of what jokes to laugh at, so she laughs at them all and probably feels silly doing so. it's because she's faking it all.

and mike should see right through this, but he doesn't. instead he smiles back at her and pulls the strap back up on her dress when it falls. he holds her drink so she can find her phone and double-triple checks that she entered his number right.

but william knows this kind of girl, this kind of pretty, undeniably charming girl, all too well.

the kind of girl who acts cute and surprised that boys even talk to her. the kind of girl who loves the band but would never imagine being able to have a friendly conversation with them. the kind of girl who sleeps with guys in bands, not because they're in the band, no, because she felt a connection that couldn't be ignored. the kind of girl who touches mike's arm with careful precision, a touch that lingers just long enough that he'll notice the lack of presence when she tucks her hair behind her ear to expose just the right amount of skin at her neck.

he knows that this girl, especially, this girl wore that dress because it's tight in the chest but the straps and too loose. he knows that all of mike's jokes are inside jokes and she wouldn't get them anyway. he knows that she's always been pretty, but not very extraordinary, so she dates aspiring musicians and artists, boys that want to change the world; that way she looks smart when she's holding their hand and supporting their art. william knows she came to this party with a friend, one of bonnie's friends, and that she's spent the whole night looking for a new musician to inspire.

and he knows that her extensions won't hold too much longer if she keeps pulling on them like that.

of course, he's not jealous. he would be, he really would be, if he and mike were still together-- if what they had could be classified as a sort of togetherness, which it can't-- which they aren't, which he made perfectly clear with his never-ending silence. he would be disgusted, if he even cared, which he most certainly does not.

and he's not drunk.

but, yes, he is drinking.

tom says, "you're drunk," and pats him on the shoulder kindly, pulls him over to the side, behind a big couch that's covered in beer and barbie doll looking girls all giggling over something stupid tyson is saying.

"you're drunk," is william's only retort, and he tries to push tom off of him but only succeeds in stumbling, knocking his elbow hard against sisky's rib and frowning at the butcher helps stabilize him. he mumbles something that sisky says is probably japanese, and is promptly steered out of the room.

the venue is a jumble of tiny spaces and a far span of hallway that takes forever to walk down. by the time they get to another small room, an empty one where tom can shove william into an armchair and the butcher and sisky can glare at him disapprovingly, bill almost wishes he had taken chad up on his offer to play the oc drinking game. a little tequila would do him good right now, or a bottle of jacks to take the edge off-- not that he's edgy, because he doesn't fucking care. all he's had are cool beers and half of a girly drink johnny refused to finish. he wishes he had passed out a few hours ago because the night has just started and he doesn't want any part of it.

"why!?" the butcher yells, disturbing the silence.

at least william isn't the only one who looks surprised and confused right now. siska quirks an eyebrow in a distinctly adam taylor siska way and tom shrugs in bill's general direction, a kind smile playing across his lips.

william coughs into a loose fist and slumps further down in the chair. "why what?"

andy crosses his arms and scoffs. "why do you have to be such a little bitch about this?" and william coughs again. "it's not like he doesn't love you or anything, but it's mike. he's just-- you know-- he likes things quiet."

on the other side of the room, siska blinks, incredulous, but waits for his turn to speak, and william should have known this would turn into a band discussion, just like what songs to put on the set list and how many cupcakes is too many cupcakes and what albums are allowed to be played in the van (because if they all have to listen to it, they all have to agree to it). he should have known the butcher would take mike's side about this because he's a drummer; he understands the necessity to bang everything and anything that stands still for a long enough time, he doesn't understand the fragility of strings and slow strums. he couldn't possibly comprehend the importance of holding someone's hand.

william, however, is currently too tired, too irritated and unfortunately too sober to say any of this with any coherency. instead he says, "fuck you, andrew. i got ninety nine problems, but bein a bitch aint one."

siska laughs and william closes his eyes, sure that before the room dissolved under heavy eyelids that tom was shaking his head slightly.

"all i'm saying," the butcher continues, "is that you should give him some time."

"time?!" sisky finally scoffs, throwing his hands up in protest. he's angry on william's behalf, and bill is grateful, he is, because if there's one thing he's given mike enough of, it's time. he's had years to deal with whatever internal issues are at hand, years to face up to it or back out, but he's done neither. the only difference now is that william refuses to wait much longer for something to happen.

tom is caught in the middle of the argument, shaking his head at sisky and the butcher at the same time, and glancing apologetically at bill, as though it's his fault somehow. mike would argue that everything is tom's fault but bill knows better than to blame anyone but himself.

the butcher and sisky have taken to insulting each other now and tom slumps down beside william and nudges him in the side. "don't be stupid, william," he whispers, and bill is glad for the quiet, the fluidity of his voice, the way words roll off his tongue through a smile of perfect teeth. "you know what you want, so go get it, and he doesn't want the same thing then there's really nothing you can do about it, is there?"

tom always had a way of making things look better despite how horrible they really were, william thinks, and opens his eyes slowly to offer a smile.

"thanks tomrad," he says, slowly, and tries to focus on the stillness of the wall.

tom nods, glances at sisky who is now in a headlock, and shrugs simply. "you have to do something," he declares.

"yeah, i have to do something," william agrees, suddenly, and stands up, but the alcohol in his system is enough so that he sits down right away and sighs. "i have to do something, as soon as the room stops-- jeez guys, quit moving around."

-

mike is outside, chain smoking with his back against a brick wall, his foot tapping to the dull, echoing beat of the music inside.

william says, "i have to do something."

"huh?"

william says, "i mean, you're an idiot, and i know that, i know that, it's why i used to hate your stupid gorgeous guts, but you're an idiot and that's why i love your stupid gorgeous guts and i have to do something right now-- right now!-- because if i don't you're gonna go back in there are fuck that girl, that stupid fake blond girl and it's not gonna be anything special, not anything at all because you'll wake up in the morning and wonder how the hell you got where you are, and mike, listen to me," he grabs mike's face in his hands, didn't even realize he had gotten that close, and presses their foreheads together. "listen to me, are you listening? you're so much better than fake blond wannabe groupie girls and you know it."

william wants a reaction, but so far all mike has done is frown.

"do you even know her name?" he asks. "do you even know anything about her other than she wants to suck you off big time?"

"she said her name's jack," he answers smartly, but william knows his brain is working out something intelligent, something witty and biting to retaliate with.

"jack is a boy's name," bill smirks.

mike frowns, frowns and frowns some more. he does this thing with his eyebrows and bites his bottom lip. he looks like he might say something to redeem himself, something to fix things, but instead he just shrugs.

it's difficult, william thinks, and strange knowing what will make a situation better. he wants to say, be with me. just be with me, that's all mike has to do anyway, just be with william in front of everyone and try not to act like it's such a painful thing to do. instead, william backs away and shakes his head.

"you know what," he sighs, "just-- i just give up. fuck this, fuck you." he starts to walk away but mike grabs his wrist and pulls him back, still he doesn't say anything, just sort of mouths a half apology and frowns some more. "i did something!" william exclaims. "and now you have to do something."

he walks back inside and slams the door behind him leaving mike alone with half of a cigarette and his thoughts, but he walks back out a few seconds later and shakes his head. neither one of them does anything besides breathe, mike still exhaling smoke, until william sighs, exasperated and kisses mike.

it isn't one of their usual, friendly, kind kisses. william slams mike into the brick wall as hard as he can, presses their bodies tightly together and holds him down. his hand is pushing hard against mike's wrist, the other brought up to his neck. william would be thinking about what a stupid idea this is if mike's knee wasn't strategically placed between his legs, pressing hard against the faded denim, his tongue working wonders in bill's mouth.

"what the fuck?" mike says, realizing what they're doing and shoving him off. "are you fucking bipolar?"

william stutters out a few responses, but settles on, "shut up, would you?" he rolls his eyes and tries to think of what he should be saying but it all sounds stupid so he fumbles around until words force their way out of his mouth.

"i get it, okay, you're not gonna hold my hand or kiss me in front of, well, anyone, and we're not about to tell everyone we know that we've been in love for the better part of the past three years." mike makes a noise halfway between protest and acceptance, a sort of pained scoff but bill prattles on. "whatever, i'm over it, but i'm pretty drunk right now, on the verge of passing out here, and it has been too damn long since i've fucked anyone so the least you can do is indulge me, just this once."

he's over being nice, being the sweet boyfriend, cute and quiet in his own william beckett way, but he just can't bring himself to care anymore. he can be vindictive if he wants to, can relish in the satisfaction it brings him to see mike comply, to see him on his knees in the cold concrete, fumbling with bill's tight jeans and the thin, weak string that keeps them on his hips.

he almost wishes this would suck, but knowing mike, knowing the way mike knows him, he's going to step it up, make this the best head he's ever dreamed about getting-- the real trick is to play it off as nothing special. usually that would be quite the incredible feat but bill's pissed off enough to fake it pretty well. he's been angry before but this is a different kind of anger, a deep frustration laced with jealousy and coated in a thin layer of disappointment.

there's a hint of sadness behind the way he presses his fingertips into mike's scalp but there's no way he could pretend not to enjoy this. it took them a while to perfect their techniques, to study each other and learn what was good and what was amazing but now william hates to say it, mike knows him too well.

mike knows exactly what william likes and how to give it to him so well there can be no room for suggestions of improvement. bill can only grit his teeth, close his eyes and bite his bottom lip to keep quiet while mike is dragging teeth over bill's skin, his tongue flicking against the most delicate part of him, and to counter william's hair pulling ways, mike scratches harshly at his hips. it's nice for a minute and then it's rough and too hard and mike's mouth is too warm and too wet for william to ignore how good it feels any longer.

but he does.

he takes a deep, hopefully unnoticed breath and says, "come on, carden, you can do better than that," sounding bored and haughty, his voice lower than usual, more scratchy and slow.

it's the taunting that does it, not that the incessant sucking didn't help, but mike forces william's hips so far forward that bill is pressed tight against the back of his throat and coming, hard, hot and bitter all at once. he may be pissed off, but he's not angry enough to not want to get off too.

mike makes a big deal out of wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and standing up trying to look annoyed but william recognizes that look of accomplishment. he can't help but notice the smile creeping to mike's lips, already perfect and pouty, full and moist now, and slightly pinker than usual, william's cum beaded in the corner of his mouth.

william grabs him by the neck of his shirt and leads him further down the dark alley.

-

the butcher finally lets sisky out of the headlock he's had him in for the past ten minutes and says, "hey tom, where did bill go?"

tom just shakes his head.

-

it takes william thirteen seconds to get the van door open and shove mike inside, twelve seconds to toss all their crap to the front seats and less than ten to convince mike to get on his knees again.

he rationalizes all of the night's happenings and all of his actions by telling himself that he's drunk and he wouldn't let this happen if he wasn't-- because he and mike are not together, they're not-- and by deciding that he will blame tom conrad for jumping the gun with his advice giving. maybe just this once, he can agree with mike that it is all tom's fault. (still, he knows it isn't and he thinks, between unbuttoning and unzipping mike's jeans and pulling his own down around his thighs, that he'll have to come up with a better excuse later.)

"where's the--" mike asks, fumbling around over the seat in william's bag, but bill scoffs behind him and bites harshly into his shoulder, trailing his tongue along the jutting veins in his neck.

he whispers into mike's ear, "you don't need it," sounding snarky and cruel but he's not letting himself care right now. usually he's nice about this; it is that which they do not speak of, but which they both agree is essential to william's manliness and his ego and to keep mike in check when he gets too big-headed and full of himself.

usually william takes special care of mike in these situations. he is careful to go slow, at first, and always asks if it's okay, if it's too much or too hard or too fast. usually there are soft kisses on the back of mike's neck and his shoulder blades, william's arms wrapped around him tightly, his voice quiet and calm in his ear.

tonight, though, tonight william is all bitchy scoffs and rolling eyes, swatting mike's hands away and holding his hips steady. mike's definitely going to have bruises tomorrow, tiny fingerprints pressed into his skin, long drags across his waist where william dug dull nails into him. he isn't quite prepared when william pushes into him, quick and hard with no kindness behind it, but at least he's sucking on mike's neck hard enough to distract from the pain. he could complain, but william doesn't wait to set a pace, just fucks him roughly, his chest hitting against the back seat of the van, and he doesn't have time to think let alone tell him to stop being such an asshole.

william abandons his hips long enough to grab his wrists and hold them still, so that mike can't jerk himself off, and william isn't about to do it. he can tell that mike is painfully hard and aching to touch himself, but william's too into this now to comply. he pushes his hips forward, pinning mike between his body and the seat, still holding his hands down. he could keep this up all night, he could continue to be malicious for as long as mike continues to be stubborn, and he will, because neither one of them knows how to give in until it's too late.

he only slows down for a split second to slide halfway out and slam back in, changing the angle and the pace and completely fucking with any rhythm mike might have been getting used to.

"fuck," mike hisses, his voice caught somewhere between his throat and his teeth, "jesus, bill, fuck."

bill laughs, nips at mike's ear and sneers, "you fucking love it." he's not ready for this to be over yet but the way mike is moving against him tells him that it might end soon. mike wiggles his hand free and william just rolls his eyes. "fine, whatever cheater," he gives up, ignores the sharp jab in his rib that mike's elbow makes as he wraps his fist around his dick and strokes it quickly.

he has nothing to say but "fuck" in various different shuddered tones, and a few "bill" "william" will" "beckett's" are moaned out too.

"nah, fuck this, i'm not done with you yet," william says, suddenly, the thought occurring to him that everyone is still inside partying it up and they have ample time to continue this. mike is tensing up and about to come but william won't let him. he grabs his hand and holds it down above them, holds mike's hip with his other hand and fucks him so deep mike can feel the tiniest bit of blood in his mouth from where he's bitten down on his lip.

william wants this to last as long as it can because things are starting to get clearer now, which means he's starting to get sober now (because he really didn't drink as much as he would have liked to) and he's starting to realize that this may be the last time anything like this happens. sure, normal, sane, logical thinking william would have kissed mike nicely and gotten into a cab to go to some hotel where they could have their last hurrah on a clean bed with room service (because it's been a while since william has tasted bacon on the tip of mike's tongue, and he misses it), but normal, sane, logical thinking william does not exist in this moment and this william thinks the dirty van with its ketchup chip crums and sprite spills will do.

this william doesn't even take the time to care that if anyone walked outside for a smoke break or to go home or just to get fresh air and get away from all the sweaty, dirty, after concert bodies in the venue, they would probably be pretty shocked (or pretty amused) at the sight of two band members fucking in the back of a van that doesn't even have tinted windows or nice upholstery.

this william interrupts his own thoughts to think, fuck, i need to get off soon but not before mike, because that would give him too much satisfaction.

"bill," mike sighs, quiet moans escaping his lips, tiny beads of sweat breaking out over his forehead, dripping down his neck and under his shirt, and william knows that sound all too well. "please, please, fuck, just--" he doesn't finish his sentence because william pushes his hips forward suddenly and grins at his own ruthlessness, smirks at the way mike is begging for him to finish it because he's so close but not getting anywhere with his hands held down and his body pressed awkwardly and tight against an old leather seat.

"fuck you," william remarks through clenched teeth, "you're a fucking asshole and i'm not about to let you come all over my hand." he doesn't stop, doesn't slow down, just keeps grinding in deeper, his hips hurting with how hard he hits against mike, but it doesn't matter if he aches in the morning just as long as mike has these bruises as a reminder. he can already see his sides have been scratched raw, his wrists slight yellow in colour, a fairly noticeable hickey already developed and red on his neck.

william forgets himself, his different self, for a moment and wraps an arm around mike's chest, pulls him closer and presses a wet kiss into his shoulder. he catches himself though, just after it happens, and figures now is a good time to finish this, before he slips again.

he chooses not to warn mike of his last efforts, just thrusts his hips hard against him and fucks him into the back seat until he's shaking, gripping the leather, all slick from their sweat, and coming hard against the back with moan after moan after stuttered vowel sounds and shuddered breaths. bill's always been quieter about coming, and he's even quieter now, pressing his lips tightly together to keep from making a sound and letting go of mike as soon as he does, sliding out and moving away from him so he can pull up his pants.

he laces them up tightly and tucks his hair behind his ear. he thinks he might throw up, but he'll wait until he's left the van and is far enough away that mike won't know before he does. maybe it's the alcohol moving around in his body or maybe it's the fact that he feels vile and cruel, and still a little sad that this is how it has to end, he doesn't know and doesn't care, he just wants to get out of here with his dignity still intact, and maybe the upper hand.

"thanks for this carden," he shrugs, opening the back door before mike even has his pants all the way up. "i needed this." mike stares at him like he might say something, but as usual, stays quiet. william wishes he wouldn't. he smiles, fake and happy and completely ignoring the lingering taste of mike's skin that snuck its way into his mouth from that kiss, and says, before he slams the door shut, "see you inside."

he definitely thinks he's going to throw up, and he knows, he knows it has nothing to do with the alcohol.

--

it was incredibly difficult to write this stuff with my mom barging into my room every half hour to hug me and tell me she loves me. now that i'm back in my apartment, i guess i can write as much porno-fiction as i want.

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 09:47:23 GMT

taking back sunday, midtown/cobra, the academy is, 2002 - 2007
three ways adam lazzara broke his hip
adam/john, gabe, william, 3103 words

"you shattered your mother fucking hip?" gabs asks, pacing back and forth along the side of the bed. john is sitting by adam's bedside, reading some intellectual book with one hand and holding a juice box with the other. adam takes a sip.

"mm," he smiles, "fruit punch."

"you shattered your mother fucking hip?!"

"he didn't shatter it," john finally says, not even looking up from his book. "he just dislocated it, it's not that even interesting of an injury to be quite honest."

gabe shakes his head in disbelief, continues pacing as adam takes another sip of juice and grins, content with the situation at hand. john is in charge of his sippy cup, eddie is getting fluffier pillows and a wooly blanket, mark is trying to sneak some food into the hospital that isn't jello and shaun is getting adam's acoustic so john can entertain him. he's pumped so full of pain killers he keeps missing the straw and swatting at the air with his fingers to get john's attention.

"yeah," adam breathes, sinking lower in the bed, sleepy and smiling. "it would have been more interesting if i like, broke a few ribs in the process or got a concussion."

"adam," john laughs, tilting adam's chin up so his mouth can find the straw, "you do have a concussion."

"oh, right."

"guys," gabe interrupts their quiet giggling to stop pacing, sigh heavily and stare at them with a serious look in his eyes. "there was so much blood, i actually thought you died. this is-- this is serious, you could have really hurt yourself."

adam and john look at him for a minute, nodding in agreement until the silence becomes unbearable and they burst out laughing.

gabe says, "this isn't funny," and leaves the room.

adam turns his head to the side and smiles weakly at john, half closes his eyes and attempts to burrow his head into the flat hospital pillow. "you know what would have been cool?" he asks, though he doesn't wait for an answer (and when does he ever wait for an answer, really?) "if i had fallen out of a helicopter, or something."

john sets the juice down and rests his book on his knees. he still hasn't changed out of the torn and faded blue jeans he was wearing at the show, the ones with adam's blood all over them. "why would there be a helicopter?" he smirks, "how could a helicopter even fit into the venue? any venue, for that matter?"

"whatever," adam mumbles, half asleep already. "there should always be a helicopter involved."

-

gabe says, "dude he fucking fell!" and plops down beside a sleeping travis. he speaks plainly, but is already excited to delve into the story, laughing to himself as he remembers how it happened.

"see," he starts, rubbing his hands together like an eager child, "adam and i wanted to make a grand exit for our last show, just the two of us, you know. we wanted to helicopter it to vegas and put all our money on black, which was like twelve dollars, three cents and some lint but we were gonna do it, and get rich and buy everyone grills or something. anyway," he shrugs, takes a sip of travie's unaccompanied redbull and william knows he's not telling the truth (because he's a fan-- a fan-- and he knows that the dislocated hip incident did not happen on the last day of tour) but he listens intently anyway.

"so we're in this helicopter, celebrating the fact that we're in a fucking helicopter and we high five. now, bill, i don't recommend high fiving in a helicopter when the door's still open, cause i mean, i guess i don't know my own strength but when we high fived, adam lost his balance and fell like, a hundred feet!" he shakes his head and william thinks yeah okay, and, i love adam lazzara.

gabe says, "it was awesome."

william can't help himself, he says, "it sounds awesome."

-

adam wakes up with a pain in his side that he can't identify. everything is blurry except for the sleepy mass that is john nolan curled up on an uncomfortable looking chair beside his bed. he takes everything into account.

john, the small chair, the hard as hell bed he's lying in that most certainly is not his bed at home or his seat in the van, a bunch of strange looking monitors beeping strange little rhythms. he would sit up and look around some more but the pain is unbearable now and he thinks he might pass out. it's dark in the room but adam doesn't know if that's because his eyes are half closed or because he's woken up in the middle of the night. his best idea at the moment is to wake john up, so he does.

"john," he mutters, though his throat is scratchy so it comes out sounding like a hoarse whisper and nothing like a real word. he tries to clear his throat but that doesn't work very well. in the end he notices a book on the bed and manages to nudge it off over the slow course of twenty three minutes.

when it hits the ground with a soft thump, john's eyes flutter open and he smiles. "hey, gorgeous."

adam pouts and tries to shrug his shoulders, but it hurts. he remembers now how he got here, though it was fuzzy for a moment there. he almost thought he had dreamed it. he looks up at john and makes a face.

"oh," john says, "right."

he calls the nurse in so adam can get another morphine drip, some water and a cherry popsicle, sits down on the chair and lets adam flirt with a forty-something year old nurse who's day is probably made when she's told she should check in on him more often. she gets him an extra blanket and adjusts the bed so that he's sitting comfortably, almost completely numb from the neck down.

when she leaves, adam turns his head slightly to the side and smirks at john. "did you get my juice, nolan?" to which john holds up a pack of fruit punch he picked up while adam was sleeping. "c'mere," he mumbles and john sets the juice down to walk over and kiss adam's forehead.

"you okay?" he asks, and adam nods. "you scared me for a minute there." adam shrugs and starts to say something, but there's a knock at the door. gabe peaks his head in and waves, talking in a hushed whisper.

"the nurse said you were awake!" he grins, and john has to wonder how someone can be so animated in such a low voice. "i brought you guys some jello, it was all they had. the other guys are working on making this room more comfortable cause we knew once adam woke up he'd be a diva."

gabe turns on the lights, keeps them dim and john smiles warmly at him. he settles back into the stiff armchair, opening the pack of juice and taking one out. he sticks a straw in and holds it out to adam to drink. he'll work on the jello in a little while.

"so," adam says seriously. his blinking is quite irregular already and john knows despite the efforts of the other guys, to get him food and blankets and probably some entertainment, adam will be asleep before they get back. "what are we gonna tell people?"

john shrugs and gabe looks slightly confused. "uh, that you fell off the stage? what else would we tell people?" adam and john exchange alarmed glances and adam scoffs, incredulous.

he shakes his head quickly. "no, i don't think that's going to work."

"that's-- that's what happened!" gabe points out and yeah, that's what happened but adam and john both know it's not the best idea to tell people exactly what happened. it's not nearly as interesting as telling them a portion of the truth and some little white lies. "you were dancing," gabe continues, "you were dancing and you tripped and fell and fucking broke your hip, that's what happened. john, you can attest to this."

john sighs, picks his book up off of the floor and opens it to the page he left off. gabe starts pacing.

"shattered," adam corrects him, and john laughs at the lies he's already telling. "i shattered my hip and gabriel, listen to me." he looks serious again, but gabe doesn't stop pacing. "never, i repeat, never let the truth get in the way of a good story."

gabe blinks, taking note of what he's just said.

-

william isn't obsessed, he just wants to know the truth. this is how he justifies it to himself, going to the show ready to wait for hours in the cold. it's raining and mike is considering leaving him there but he could always call his mom to pick him up if mike bails, which he probably would. he only agreed to come because he wanted to talk to john nolan about guitars, and as much as william cares about that stuff (because he really does), now is not the time.

"adam," he squeaks, shy, practically hiding behind mike, who immediately turns his attention to john nolan (saint nolan! william thinks in his head, and also, god lazzara! all this moment needs is jesus lacey and it would be perfect).

william mumbles out a stream of words that don't make sense and adam lazzara says, "huh?"

"oh ha ha-- english," william laughs, "how did you break your hip?"

"oh wow," adam lazzara laughs. william squeezes mike's arm like a girl, and giggles. "it's a long story man. you really want to hear it?" william nods fervently so adam lazzara contiues. "okay so like, me and gabe saporta-- he's in midtown-- we got into a fight earlier on that fateful day cause he found out i had been sleeping with his girlfriend." he takes a minute to laugh, tap john nolan on the shoulder for a cigarette and nod along as he lights up, inhales copious amounts of smoke and exhales in perfect streams of grey. "we had some harsh words, gabe and i."

william nods along, unaware of the fact that he's still clutching mike's arm, most likely cutting off all circulation to his fingers.

"during our set, he just lost it, came on stage and started arguing with me. it got a little heated and we threw some punches, he pushed me off the stage like a douchebag and i'm like, mother fucker, that hurt! but it was all good. i finished the set and afterwards we talked and realized, you know, bros before hoes, so we were cool."

william inhales sharply as adam lazzara leaves out the l in cool. he can't help nodding, he probably looks like a bobble-head, but he's taking in every word.

"so gabe gets this mad throat infection or something, and totally loses his voice. we would have had to cancel the rest of the show but i stepped up, i was like, gabriel, i will play this show for you as an apology for sleeping with your hot girlfriend. so i played the set and fucking rocked that shit."

at this point, william isn't even breathing. mike and john nolan are listening too and adam lazzara is smiling broadly.

"we stayed outside talking to kids for like three hours and i thought, you know, my side kind of hurts, maybe i should get that looked at. so i walked to the hospital-- it wasn't far-- and i was like, dudes, my body hurts. the doctors ran some tests and they came back and were like, oh my god! you've shattered your hip into at least three hundred pieces! how are you still walking? you should be dead right now! you sir, are a medical miracle." adam lazzara nods, adding that last little bit of finality to his story.

william blinks.

"oh my god," he says.

somewhere behind them, floyd says they gotta hit the road and john nolan says a quick, guitar player goodbye to mike who is amazing for staying calm this long.

"i know right." adam lazzara pats bill on the shoulder and leans in, "check this out, i can pop my hip in and out." he moves from side to side, his left hand holding his hip tightly as he does. "pop it out, pop it back in, pop it out, back in, out, in."

mike raises an eyebrow and bill can't help but blink some more. "oh my god," he repeats, "are you serious?"

adam lazzara chuckles. "nah man, i'm kidding, i'm just moving my body."

floyd yells some more and adam lazzara reaches out to shake william's hand, exchange fond farewells. mike pokes william in the side and laughs as they drive away a few minutes later (during which adam stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "hey you didn't tell me your name!" and william replied, "william eugene beckett!" and thankfully did not add lazzara, because that would have been embarrassing) and says, "you know that was all a lie, right? a really elaborate albeit well told story?"

"shh," bill laments, eyes closed. "you'll ruin the moment."

-

"hold my hand, john." adam stretches his arm out and frowns when it takes john more than five seconds to find his fingers. "i think i broke something," he says.

"what happened to him?" another doctor asks, one that wasn't there when they rushed him in five minutes ago. "sir, what happened to him?"

adam and john exchange identical glances of pending mischief and john replies, "he fell down some stairs."

"i fell down some stairs," adam echoes, laughing his tyler durden laugh and wheezing in the crisp hospital air as he does.

he grabs john by the collar of his shirt, whispers, "get me some juice, thomas, you know what i like," and presses a hot, sticky kiss against his lips. when he pulls away, john's mouth is stained red with blood. "oh, fuck," adam sighs, sounding scared for the first time since they left the venue.

"hey," john smiles, dimples and all, "even the mona lisa's falling apart."

-

"he was dancing, actually." john smiles, and william's not sure he should have asked him, because there is a sadness hidden in his dimples that william doesn't like seeing. but it's the last day of tour and who knows if they'll meet up again.

john continues, sipping lukewarm coffee from a styrofoam cup. "we were both up there, dancing like complete idiots and he just tripped, probably over my left feet. i thought it was funny at first-- here's adam doing a hoe-down on stage and he falls-- but there was a lot of blood. i was," he pauses, takes another sip and whispers, "i was terrified."

william nods, slowly, and stays quiet. john's eyebrows do a quick jump upward and he smiles, all awkward and contemplative, but warm in the way his lips curve into a half frown, half smirk.

"that was," he says, "that was a long time ago."

--

this was originally titled "how adam lazzara broke his hip (and how gabe saporta learned to lie like a mother fucking professional)" but it turned into a huge gay adam/john angst-fest complete with taking back sunday obsessed william fangirling. these are my favourite stories, actually told to me by gabe, adam and john respectively. i've never laughed so hard in my life, adam lazzara, thank you. oh and john needs to rejoin taking back sunday, plees.

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 22:12:56 GMT

panic at the disco, 1992 - 2006
care bear countdown
brendon urie, 1885 words

-- who's that comin from somewhere up in the sky? moving fast and bright as a firefly; just when you think the trouble's gonna pounce who's gonna be there when it really counts? do the care bear countdown!

By the age of five, Brendon Urie is able to unbutton a crisp, starch ridden white dress shirt to reveal a Braveheart t-shirt underneath quicker than you can do the Care Bear countdown.

You see, when Brendon was younger, he used to Care Bear Stare anyone that got in his way.

It comes in handy nowadays when Jon says something like, "If you don't start singing that right, I'm gonna Brent Wilson you." Brendon scowls his signature jaw clenching, eyebrow furrowing scowl and before his brain can process what he's doing, his shirt is unbuttoned and he's clutching at ruffles, glowering at Jon.

"Uh, what are you doing?" Jon asks, and Brendon just laughs it off, muttering under his breath, embarrassed.

When Spencer changes the CD that's playing, claiming, "You gotta stop listening to that crap around me, nobody likes Avenged Sevenfold," Brendon is able to control his actions. But the constant remote thievery that goes on gets a bit annoying, because nobody likes Fleetwood Mac (in Brendon's opinion) or at least, nobody should.

"Seriously," Brendon snaps at him one day, "If you change the CD one more time, you're gonna be Elisa Schwartz-ed. Why can't you just listen to music in the other room? Or on your iPod, for that matter? "

Spencer sits down and takes the remote right out of Brendon's hand. "Because this annoys you more," he says smugly, and changes the CD.

Brendon can't help himself. He unbuttons his shirt angrily until Jon puts a hand on his shoulder. "Dude," he says calmly. "You gotta stop showing us your nipples."

A little colder now that his shirt is open, Brendon suddenly wishes that he had that Braveheart t-shirt on, wondering hopefully if it would still fit.

It's something he does unconsciously, barely even realizing it until it's happened, and yeah, it can be a bit humiliating at times.

Only his family really understands it, and he'd like to keep it that way. They're the only ones who have witnessed it, and unfortunately for Brendon, he thinks his mom might have video taped one particular traumatizing occurance. Still, it's better that only they know. He might sound a little crazy warning people that if they piss him off he and a dozen of his animal-like friends will shoot rainbows out of their chests and then flee the scene in a cloud car.

-

When he is five and a half, Brian steals his last perfect cube of cherry jello right from the spoon about to helicopter its way into Brendon's mouth, that smarmy bastard (is what Brendon would say now). Back then he just gasps, appalled, and whips open his shirt.

Care Bear Stare.

"I'm immune," his brother chuckles, leaving the kitchen with a smug grin and Brendon's jello cube.

-

When he is six and one quarter, Karanell tells him flat out that she doesn't want to play with him. "You're being really annoying right now, Boyd," she yells back at him as she walks away. Her careful use of his middle name wounds him at first.

"But-- but I love you, Nani," he pouts, holding out two teddy bears that are about to have a duel to the death.

"Annoying!" she sing-songs from the kitchen, and that's when it happens. Brendon throws down both bears and storms in after her, pulls his shirt open (he still hasn't changed out of his Sunday school clothes) and starts the countdown.

Five. "Oh not this again." Four. Three. "You are so lame, Brendon." Two! One!

Care Bear Stare.

-

When he is six and seven eighths, his mother turns the video camera on and giggles from behind the lens. "I think he's going to do it," she whispers.

"Brendon," his father says sternly, though there is a smile aching to spread across his lips. "You have to go to sleep now, it's way past your bedtime." He starts picking up toys and books, putting them in their rightful places. Brendon pouts, shakes his head furiously and looks as though he's about to have a temper tantrum.

"I'm not going to bed, there's a monster in my closet and it wants to EAT ME ALIVE! Do you want me to be eaten alive?" he asks, dramatically, and the camera shakes because his mom is laughing.

"There's nothing in your closet," his father sighs. "Now get up there and go to sleep."

That does it. Brendon throws his favourite teddy bear-- the one wearing a stylish jacket to match his top hat-- bodily at the ground and unbuttons the top button of his pajama shirt. "I'm not going," he says slowly, quietly, somewhat threateningly. "You can't make me."

His dad shakes his head and his mom shakes the camera again, balancing it in one hand so she can cover her laughing mouth with the other. "Brendon Boyd Urie, I'm giving you five seconds to get upstairs and fall asleep or there will be consequences."

It's a showdown, Brendon decides, unbuttons another button while his father starts.

"Five." One more. "Four, three." Brendon shakes his head and quickly does the rest. By the time his dad finishes the countdown ("Two, I'm serious, One!") his shirt is held open by tiny hands and he's screamed the words.

"Care Bear Stare!"

For a moment, nothing happens, but then his father gasps, touches the palm of his hand to his own chest and stares, wide eyed, at his son. His feet move backwards, he topples over the couch and lays motionless.

The camera shakes.

"Daddy?" Brendon whispers, and a groan comes from behind the couch. "Daddy?!" Brendon runs over to his father and pokes him in the side.

"Brendon," Boyd whispers, weakly. "How many times do I have to tell you, you shouldn't do that! Someone could get seriously hurt."

-

"Hey, what are you guys doing?" Brendon asks, and Ben walks casually to the door, folds his arms over his chest and shrugs. "Is everyone in the living room? We were gonna go to Ryan's house."

His brothers stutter a stream of overlapping half words, all Oh's and Um's and nervous laughter.

"We wanted to talk to you!" Brad yells. "About, about-- you know, the thing, that's really important, that thing that Benjamin's going to tell you about, right?" He smiles maniacally and Ben stumbles over something to say.

He settles on, "Audrey!" And nods in this weird, frantic way. "We're going to talk to you about Audrey."

Brendon shakes his head. "Good night!-- ("Language!") --No way is that gonna happen, man." And then it dawns on him. "Wait," he says. "What's going on in there?" He moves towards the door but Ben is standing in front of it like a guard dog, and behind him, Brad is tensely walking toward them, mumbling something about how it's not safe to go into the living room right now.

The door opens just as Brendon makes a frantic leap for the handle and Brad holds him back, tackles him to the floor and practically smushes him into the kitchen tile. Brian stares at the scene before him with raised eyebrows but chooses not to comment on it.

"Your friends and your girlfriend are watching you walk around the backyard naked in that cute little video from when you were four," he smiles at the look of horror on Brendon's face. "You know the one."

Brendon tries to squirm out of Brad's grip but fails, only managing to turn over and unzip his hoodie. "I'm going to kill all of you," he declares, but they just laugh.

Brian, who should be the mature one, really, says, "You're seriously still doing that?"

-

"Lay off my Red Bull," Ryan scoffs at him one day. "That's your second one today and if you drink any more, I'm totally Tom Conrad-ing you. You'll be Jack Marin-ed, Pete Doherty-ed, John Nolan-ed."

Brendon's fingers grow restless when they're not busy with buttons, but he's trying to control himself. "John left the band," he snaps, attempting to ignore Ryan who walks over to the fridge and pulls out a cherry flavoured Capri Sun.

The last cherry flavoured Capri Sun.

Brendon's last cherry flavoured Capri Sun.

Ryan sticks a straw in and takes a sip. Suddenly, Brendon is five years old again. He stands up and unbuttons his shirt quicker than Ryan is able to lift his head in surprise. Before he can think to be rational, Brendon closes his eyes and screams, "Care Bear Stare," sticking his chest out to reveal a Hugs and Tugs t-shirt he found in a thrift store last week.

Ryan makes a noise between a startled gasp and a yelp and falls to the floor, motionless.

"Ryan?" Brendon's voice trembles to no reply, his hands letting go of his shirt. "Ryan!" He rushes over and turns Ryan's body over on the ground.

Ryan coughs weakly but he smirks, a hint of sarcastic warning in his voice when he says, "You shouldn't do that, Brendon, someone could get seriously hurt."

In a flash of a shocked expression and a cloud car, Brendon pulls his shirt back again.

--

i wrote this on march 8th, 2007 in my ethics class, instead of taking notes. it was in a notebook i found a few days ago, sigh. i also searched far and wide about appropriate mormon television shows, but found nothing about care bears so i am going to assume it's okay-- i mean, come on, it's care bears. also, my knowledge of brendon urie's life makes me an obsessed stalker, i know. i imagine him as the type of mormon kid that nikki's kids are (on big love), but with a cuter bowl cut and not as many siblings.

also, the good night thing? totally mormon swear words.

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 01:17:36 GMT

the academy is; rise of the fall tour series, 2005
mutual head club (7/10)
mike / william, 1088 words

-- it's getting colder and you're getting distant and i just keep thinking that i never meant it to be like this (you know what comes next, so do i)

Mike remembers days spent without talking. He remembers William's cold stares and harsh scoffs under his breath. Mike distinctly recalls books being hurled at his head because he breathed too loudly in the wrong direction.

That was after they had supposedly put aside their differences, after they buried the hatchet, after they were "friends." After they spent hours and days and weeks planning how they would revolutionize the music world together. Jodie was over and done with and Remember Maine could only get Bill so far in the scene. Mike remembers that when they were talking about their great escape from Chicago, they were fine, but when the conversation dwindled, remnants of the old feud felt compelled to surface.

Mike remembers Bill used to annoy him so much he would ignore phone calls and purposely forget to show up when they arranged to meet each other. Sometimes he would outright avoid him to his face, not even acknowledge his presence at parties or shows.

Even now, he can't pinpoint the exact moment they stopped being childish toward each other and started getting along. He figures it started with a mutual agreement to tolerate each other and eventually developed into respect, into an actual friendship.

Mike remembers days spent without talking, when all they would do is write lyrics and play random notes on guitar, move Bill's beat up acoustic between them every few minutes to add to the stream of music they were writing. He remembers the creative flow of everything, how well they worked together, how well they knew each other even in the beginning.

Mike remembers days spent without talking, when all they would do was curl up in bed and fall asleep, pretend to be writing an album when all they were writing was love letters in the form of kisses and soft touches, skin and jagged bones and ragged breaths.

Mike remembers being happy.

The way Bill is acting now, it's cold and distant; professional. It feels like forever ago that he would be met with warm, inviting smirks from William's lips and secret messages to meet him later spoken in the way he blinked. Now all Mike gets are business-like smiles and monotone.

Having William Beckett be upset at you is like sitting in the dark in a haunted house waiting to be attacked. You can either close your eyes and hope the whole thing is a horrible dream or you can let yourself be torn apart by some unknown foe. Mike would rather stand up and fight but it's hard with the way William gets upset.

The way William gets upset is he reads, for hours on end sometimes, and he doesn't say a word-- just reads, just soaks in every word on the pages of books he has read a dozen times already and laughs wryly at jokes that aren't funny anymore. The way William gets upset is completely different from the way the world gets upset. He doesn't yell or storm off, he doesn't even look pissed, he just smiles in this horrible, fake way, and goes about doing any and everything he can do to occupy himself.

The way William gets upset is he gets polite, and it's downright awkward.

It doesn't matter if Mike sits in the front of the van, in the passenger seat beside Tony or if he slides in between Sisky and the Butcher, it doesn't matter if he sits right beside William in the back of the van where he is stretched out against the door with his earphones on and loud, listening to the Get Up Kids, and The Prisoner of Azkaban in his hands, he won't say anything, he'll just turn to Mike and smile, then return his eyes to the page.

It's frustrating trying to convey anything to him when he gets like this. It's not like Mike could say anything anyway, not anything he'd want other people hearing, and William won't give them the opportunity to be alone together.

Mike has enough experience with Bill's bad moods to last him a lifetime. It seems logical that he would have enough experience to know how to deal with it, but William is a fortress of fake that will never give in, no matter how hard Mike tries, and he's tried.

He's not angry, that's the thing. He's not pissed off and wanting revenge and a humiliating apology-- that would be an easy fix. An angry William would be a piece of cake, a few kisses and the promise of sex later and he'd be back to his normal bubbly, annoying self. It's different this time because he's hurt, more hurt than he's ever been. This can only be fixed with hand holding and a worldwide declaration of their undying love, and Mike's just not sure how ready he is for all of that.

The truth is, that excuse is wearing thin. Hand holding and worldwide declarations of their undying love have been in the making for the better part of the past two years and he knows it. He was William's before he was even himself. Mike has no problem with the two of them, he just has a problem with everyone else.

The tension in the van is noticeable enough that no one has talked about it. Once or twice Tom opened his mouth as if he was about to say something but stayed silent at the slow shake of the Butcher's head and many glowering looks from Sisky. From the front, Tony and Chad have been giving each other furtive glances and Mike wonders how much they know about the present situation, how much Johnny and Jon know as they sit quietly in the back between him and William. Mike wonders if everyone's known all along and he's the last person in on the joke.

He knows this situation can only be fixed by him, and it will only get worse before it gets better.

--

i'm sorry this took so long, and sorry that it's so short! i couldn't get in the right mood to write this part for the life of me. it's partially because i am a horrible person and partially because the william/mike pairing i rped fell apart and all the passion i had for that relationship (which was filtering through and fueling this fic) got pushed aside :/ i hope you can forgive me.

photos from theacademyis.com: october thirty-first, two thousand and five

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 19:20:24 GMT

cobra starship / gym class heroes / the academy is, 2007
mocha italian con panna antigua
gabe, travis / william, 1833 words

-- no one understands me quite like you do through all of the shadowy corners of me; i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop i love so much, all of the while i never knew, i never knew just what it was.

"I'll have a non-fat venti soy vanilla latte, please and thank you," Travis recites, his usual order at the usual Starbucks, nods twice and makes room for Gabe at the counter.

"The Guatemala casi cielo, venti, por favor." Gabe rolls his tongue on the r's, flashes teeth at the barista he's already taken back to his apartment at least twice and gives William a glance. "You ready buddy?"

"Yeah, yeah," Bill says, "today I'll have a grande, cinnamon dolce, but none of that sugar-free non-fat stuff okay, and load me up on cinnamon, like three shots, and some extra brown sugar." Travis nods, starts rifling through his pockets for money (it's his turn to pay) but Bill continues. "And I'll have two chocolate brownies, a slice of that cheese cake and a chicken caesar wrap if you got one left, Gloria."

Gloria or glorious, as Gabe's been calling her, smirks in a particularly fond way and nods, adds up the total and hands Travis his change before Gabe can even register everything that William's just ordered.

"What?" Bill says, eyeing the cheesecake like a kid in a candy store on christmas, "I have a sweet tooth."

"Whatever," Gabe says, scooting down to the sugar station, grabbing two packets to hand over to William, and picking up the shaker of vanilla for Travis. "I still think I make a valid point."

"Uh no," Travie chuckles, passing Gabe his drink, taking off the lid of his own to dump copious amounts of vanilla inside. "You make a stupid point, that I still don't understand."

"It's just," Gabe sighs, looking defeated. "We can't be tall. We can't just be tall. Ryan Ross, that kid is tall and he's like four feet shorter than us."

William doesn't have much to contribute to the conversation, but then he doesn't fully understand all of Gabe's thought processes; Gabe will of course, chat them up about this particular theory (or rant or rambling, whatever) and maybe after a few hours, Bill will have something intelligent to say. For now, he empties three packets of sugar into his latte and goes over Gabe's words again in his mind.

William thinks, the way Gabe says Ryan Ross is pretty funny, with emphasis on the aw in Ross, and careful delivery of the double s's.

Travis shrugs, sinks into his usual blue coloured armchair and stretches his feet out.

"We can't just be tall," Gabe repeats, more to himself than anything.

-

Gabe says, "Do you ever sample the coffee?" He shifts, stretches his arms out and pulls the covers halfway over his chest. "I mean, do you ever like, make yourself an iced caramel joya del dia macchiato topped with whipped cream and chocolate?"

Glorious (Gloria) laughs, half shrugs and lets Gabe wrap his arms around her. They don't do this often, but when they do, they usually talk about the coffee after, like it's dirty talk for round two (or three or four).

"Not really," she admits. "Sometimes I'll try the costa rica tarrazu, it kind of reminds me of you."

He's not surprised, but not overly enthusiastic about the fact either. He wouldn't want to lose his relationship with his favourite Starbucks if his relationship with his favourite barista went south, for whatever reason.

He likes the way she butchers words like tarrazu, the way she puts too much stress on the first syllable and completely ignores the soft sound a z is meant to make.

"It reminds me of home," Gabe yawns, his last few words stretched and sounding like echoes in his ears. It's been a long day and he's not sure he can make it through round five.

Gloria reminds him of Ashlee Simpson, in a way that probably shouldn't turn him on as much as it does, Ashlee being Pete's girlfriend and all. She is all blond hair and big eyes, curious and excited all the time, the way Ashlee was on Honda Civic, bouncing around backstage and bugging him for piggy back rides.

But that's a whole other story, one that has nothing to do with frappucinos and everything to do with too much vodka and redbull and an empty bus at three in the morning.

"Do you think I'm tall?" Gabe asks, his eyes closing against his will. "Do you think I'm just tall?"

Gloria must think he's crazy, but she blinks a few times, eyelashes on the bare skin of his chest, and breathes hot and steady. "I think you're more than tall. I think you're probably a venti on the Starbucks scale."

-

It's seven in the morning when he wakes up, hits the first name on his speed dial (he could have hit the second name instead but the call would end up in the same place) and practically giggles into the phone. "Travie, Travie, I figured it out."

"Youfiguredwhatout?" William slurs, his voice barely a whisper. Beside him, Travis tries to swat at him to go back to sleep, but Gabe is practically yelling on the phone now.

"Wake up, sleepyheads, and get dressed, I'm coming over!" Gabe hangs up and William drops the phone onto the floor, doesn't bother to relay the message. He just rolls over and ignores the bright light making its way into the room through thin curtains, rests his head on Travie's chest and sighs something between a whimper and a yawn.

-

"Wake up, stupids."

Travis opens an eye but closes it a split second later, justifying the act in his head by telling himself that a Gabe-less morning is a good morning and maybe if he shuts his eyes again, Gabe will go away.

But he doesn't.

He plops down, tries to get into the two inches between them and fails, ends up half on William's chest and half on Travis's legs realizing that-- "You're both naked, aren't you?"

Bill laughs, nods sleepily and pulls the covers up higher like it matters, even though it doesn't since Gabe has seen them both naked on too many occasions to count.

(He's seen William four times, Travis three and seen them together two times and a half because warped tour didn't really count.

And he's seen the sex tape, but that's also another story.)

Travis scoots over so Gabe can lay down between them, justifying the act in his head by telling himself that it's better than Gabe getting under the sheets, which he's done too many times to count.

(Once and a half, because warped tour didn't really count.)

William snuggles into Gabe's shoulder, still half asleep and unable to tell one shoulder from another.

"Do you have somethin to tell us, or are you just gonna invade our space all day?" Travis lets his eyes close, trying to block out Gabe and the sun and failing, that red glow still shining bright against his eyelids, Gabe still shifting awkwardly beside him, elbow in his side and his legs getting in the way of much needed space.

"We're perfect for each other," Gabe says, suddenly.

Muffled against his side, William grins, "We're not having a threesome, stop bringing it up."

"This isn't about that!" Gabe groans, throwing his hands up in frustration. William half rolls off the bed and Travis just winces as Gabe's bony wrist knocks against his ribs. "But we'll talk about that later."

He gets out of bed and sighs, finding bits of clothing on the floor and throwing it at their heads. "Get dressed and get up, I got you lattes."

Travis keeps William in bed for an extra four minutes and thirty two seconds, justifying the act in his head by telling himself that Gabe is busy pouring copious amounts of sugar in Bill's drink and vanilla in his and he won't notice.

-

William sips a lukewarm skinny cinnamon dolce (because Gabe says he needs to lay off on the sugar for his love handles' sake), standing beside Travis and his non-fat soy vanilla latte.

Gabe holds his Colombia narina supremo like he holds his gold microphone, like he's about to sing some cheesy love song to them. He says, "It's simple," but it really isn't.

"William," he starts, "you have in your hand a grande, a grande, and we have ventis. It's why we're so perfect for each other, why you guys are so fucking in love it kills, it's amazing to see you together. It's why you're my best friends in the whole world and I'd kill for you, seriously, I'd die for you." He looks kind of crazed, in a Gabe sort of way. "We're like starbucks," he shrugs, "everyone else is dunkin donuts."

Travis still doesn't get it.

William's still asleep.

Travis says, "I still don't get it, Gabe."

William says, "I'm still asleep."

"We're not just tall," Gabe smirks, practically breathing his coffee in and only sort of thinking about Gloria and how she looked when he left in the morning, a note on her bedside table that reads:

try the ipanema bourbon, i'll be back for breakfast

gabe.

--

the song is coffee shop by landon pigg, the title is a mix of all the good coffee at starbucks. i blame this fic on not enough sleep (i started writing at twelve and it is now 3:18am), a tall mango passion fruit frappucino that i shouldn't be having anyway because it's snowing slash raining slash cold, my roommate for getting me addicted to starbucks in the first place, and roleplay for getting me addicted to this idea and the quote unquote friendship between these three.

gay saporta: we're like starbucks
gay saporta: everyone else is dunkin donuts

i don't write nearly enough, i think that's going to change.

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 05:24:24 GMT

we are not unique and beautiful snowflakes tour, 2004
tired boys and wired eyes
fob, midtown, gch, tai gen, travis / william, 3799 words

-- this is how it has to be: a kiss for luck, submerge myself and in seven weeks resurface (even if we don't look back again) tired boys and wired eyes exposing imperfections, to the public eye we're perfect (even if we don't look back again)

Patrick finds Pete half asleep on the yellow lines in the middle of the road, his palms pressed down in the cold concrete. "Pete, this isn't really what I meant by rest stop," he says, hands buried in the pockets of someone's grey hoodie. It isn't his, he just found it in his bag one day and wore it and Andy's been eyeing it since so Patrick has to be careful not to take it off around him.

"Our definition of rest stop is different is all," Pete mumbles, shaking his head.

"Yeah, well, our definitions of everything are different, that's beside the point. You're gonna inhale all the exhaust fumes and--."

"Your definition of rest stop," Pete interrupts with an air of intelligence which Patrick knows is really arrogance, "is a place on the side of the road we can park so everyone can sleep without being awoken by speed bumps, where we can all take a piss somewhere that isn't a bottle, call our girlfriends and parents at pay phones and pretend we aren't hooking up with some random fan in a few hours. Well, not everyone is Gabe, but you know what I mean. I just don't see it that way."

Patrick shuffles his feet and shrugs. He says, "Right then."

-

Gabe says, "It's sound check, baby, we just loaded everything in and it took a while. I would have called you sooner." He flashes a wide smile at Rob and waves enthusiastically as William and Travis walk into the room, laughing. "I promise, I swear, right after the show we just gotta load out and book it, I won't even stick around to talk to anyone."

Bill sits in the empty space beside him, stretches his legs out and yawns. Travis lights up a cigarette and hangs half out the window.

"Yes, I love you too, cupcake."

William makes some sort of hand movement accompanied by a "whoop-ah" sound, and laughs. Rob joins in. Somewhere on the other side of the room, Travis hits his head on the window cill, choking on smoke and coughing out the word cupcake. "Hang on, Pete's making a big deal about some equipment." Gabe smirks into the receiver, then pulls it away from his ear and covers the mouthpiece. "What was that?"

"You're so whipped, it's ridiculous. Cupcake?" William makes a good point but Gabe is too hung over to take any of his bullshit right now.

"Fuck you," he mutters, "I'm too hung over to take any of your bullshit right now."

Somewhere on the other side of the room, Travis is on the floor clutching his stomach from laughing too hard.

"Yeah, baby, I'm back. I love you, too. No, I love you more, I love you more. Okay, okay, I'll call you back later. You hang up! No, you hang up." William puts two fingers to his temple and pulls the trigger, slumps down dead beside Gabe with his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. Rob grabs the phone from Gabe's hand and presses the appropriate button, then joins in the laughter still coming from the floor.

"You bastard," Gabe shakes his head, grabbing the phone back and hitting redial. "Sorry baby, my friends are assholes. No, no, I love you more."

-

"This is the last mu'fuckin cigarette I'll ever have."

Travis rolls onto his back and flicks all that remains of his cancer stick out of the window, closes his eyes and breathes a stream of grey-blue into the atmosphere. William sighs into his shoulder.

"You know you say that every day, and every day you go through another pack, so forgive me if I don't believe you." He nudges Travis in the side and rolls his eyes. "And try to be more considerate, some of us don't want to die of second hand smoke."

Travie doesn't say anything, just scowls and pulls Bill closer to him. "I need to sleep on a proper bed," he sighs. "Seriously, tell me this is comfortable." He shifts awkwardly to adjust their makeshift pillows of sweaters and the butcher's jeans but it doesn't really solve anything.

"I don't think it's that bad," William yawns, resting his head on Travis's chest. "I'm comfortable."

-

"Who the fuck gave gas stations the idea that they could sell food?" Mike breathes, incredulous at his forkful of mashed potatoes. At least, William thinks it's mashed potatoes, it could be the hash browns Gabe ordered, or even the eggs Andy's not having.

"Are those mashed potatoes?" He asks, sipping orange juice that tastes like there's an apple floating in it.

"I have no clue." Mike pushes his plate forward and frowns, practically pouts. "This is the first real meal we've had in weeks," he realizes, "and it sucks."

Travis squeezes in between William and Tom, grabs some toast off Tyler's plate and drinks the rest of Bill's apple-orange juice. "It's the first real meal we've had in weeks, Carden, so enjoy it. This food aint really helping but it's something." He speaks between chewing and swallowing, reaching around William's waist to pinch Gabe and get his attention, exchange plans about on stage antics for later. "I'm loving every minute of this. I'd rather be here with you fine gentlemen, eating the world's worst breakfast and about to play a show than at home at a dead end job or some shit."

There is a murmur of agreement all around the booth, loud enough for William to lean in close and whisper, "You're in unusually high spirits today."

"Yup," Travis grins. "Pete found us a cheap ass hotel in Austin."

On the other side of Bill, Gabe chokes on laughter and a piece of toast.

-

Joe glares scornfully as they drive away, all of them breathing heavy sighs of relief.

"Why is it always us?" he asks, still shaking his head. "Do I look like more of a pothead than Travis? Or Gabe, for that matter? Why do they always search us and let everyone else go through unharmed?"

"But you're not harmed," Patrick chimes in but he's silenced by a quick scathing look from Andy. Pete knows better than to interrupt Joe when he's going off on a tangent about border police.

True, they didn't have any drugs on them, but Joe didn't help matters by trying to hide Andy's drumsticks down his pants in case the cops considered them weapons.

Pete closes his eyes and wonders if they'll ever be able to fly to these places in a private jet, if the random bag checks will stop once they hit superstar status, or if Joe will continue to hide drumsticks down his pants. He wonders if they'll own an airport and laughs out loud, despite himself.

Later he'll tell William these thoughts and they'll laugh together, but for now, Patrick just stares at him strangely with furrowed brows.

-

Mike makes a noise somewhere between a "bleh" and an "urgh" and says, "You've been wearing those clothes for seven days? That's fucking gross, Gabe."

Tom shakes his head disapprovingly, but laughs anyway. William takes it upon himself to ruffle Gabe's already disheveled hair and look patronizingly concerned, but handsomely so.

"Don't make fun of him, young Gabriel's only five years old, he doesn't know any better." He smiles innocently and covers his face from Gabe's feeble attempts to injure him.

"I'm not five you limp-wristed bastard, and it's not my fault, if you weren't so fat I'd be able to wear your jeans."

Travis has to physically remove Bill from the couch to stop him from bitch slapping Gabe, but it's funny anyway.

"And who are you to talk? Your entire band shares clothes even when you're not on tour." Gabe throws a pillow at William's head and huffs, starts muttering to himself in Spanish, something about "tonto" and "feo," something Travis will later translate as "muy muy annoying-o."

"Take it back," William hisses, stuck between Travis's arms and the wall.

Gabe smirks in a particularly taunting way and shrugs, "Fine, you're not fat, but you do seriously need to consider showering."

"I showered on Friday!" Bill shouts back, but this time it's Travis who answers.

"Yo, that's messed up. It's Sunday, Bill, you better shower before Wednesday or else."

Gabe would keep this conversation going-- he could sure sneak a few more hygiene related insults in there-- but what's the point when he can just laugh at how much William is blushing now, walking away from Travis looking like a fire truck had sex with a barn. Gabe makes a quick, hopefully unnoticed hand movement and whispers "whoop-chew!"

-

"I personally wouldn't recommend leaving those near Sisky." William points at the batch of freshly baked cookies in Andy's hands that he and Disashi are covering to put away, then glances over to the corner of the room where Adam is sleeping soundly. "I mean, unless you never want to see them again."

Sashi says, "Hmm, maybe you're right. He did go through all that chocolate pretty quickly on his own." He considers it for a second, gives Andy a look and receives a nod in return as William busies himself with finding a sweater and stuffing his bag with the one he just took off.

"Here," Andy says. "Keep them safe, alright?" He hands Bill the paper plate and smiles, William just shrugs as they head for the door.

"Alright man, I'll take good care of 'em."

He waits until they're out of the room and he can hear their voices disappearing down the hallway to the stage before dashing out of the room to the one he just came from. "Ha! You owe me ten bucks, jerks." He plops down between Travis and Gabe, sets the plate down on the table and smirks.

Pete stares at him at a loss for words. "You... actually... but how?"

"Dude you got cookies from Andy? Did you give him drugs or something?" Gabe grabs a cookie with one hand and his wallet with another, handing William a crisp ten dollar bill. Travis gives him a Canadian five.

"Wha?" he shrugs, mouth full of chocolate chips. "Ish awh i gah on me."

William rolls his eyes for the hundredth time but is still being stared at by Pete. "I still don't-- don't understand." He reluctantly takes a cookie, thinking they must be poisoned if Andy gave them up that easily.

"I used the "Sisky might eat them" line, man, works like magic. You should try it sometimes, Peter." Bill takes a bite out of two cookies that are stuck together, kind of like a cookie sandwich, but better because it's a stolen cookie sandwich.

Gabe laughs in between chewing. "Andy's really gotta learn who his true friends are," he practically giggles, scarfing down cookie after cookie. "No one is truly genuine when it comes to cookies."

-

"Where's pete?" Rob asks, closing the van door and sitting beside a sleeping Andy and a grumpy looking Patrick. Joe is fast asleep at the wheel, inches away from slipping and hitting the horn.

"Outside," Patrick sighs, "with the other crazies." They both look out the window, and Rob wonders how he could have missed them when he came in, but he was more concerned with covering himself than checking out the scenery. Gabe and William are both laying on the wet grass, making angels while Pete runs around yelling something or other and Travis kicks water up from puddles.

From the safety of the other van, Tom takes pictures of their antics and laughs along with them as Travis jumps into some particularly large puddles, splashing their contents all over William and Gabe.

Somewhere buried beneath piles of clothes and blankets, Pete's phone is going off, but Patrick's not about to answer it and have to explain that he's outside dancing in the rain.

Rob glances over at the noise under the clothes, "Is that his girlfriend?" to which patrick nods. They both make identical hand movements and laugh as Rob says, "Hoop-ah" and Patrick quietly adds, "Wah-pew."

Patrick thinks, it started raining so suddenly, and just as suddenly Pete decided to yell that everyone pull over so he could get the other idiots together to frolic. Patrick thinks, and says, "I hate rain."

-

Travis is still wringing out his shirt long after it stops raining. They're back on the road, all back in their beat up old vans and trying to catch a wink of sleep again.

Ryan's driving, Sashi's snoring and Matt's just waking up wondering when they started driving again.

Marc's the only one in the back risking getting dripped on, but Travis is too busy changing and falling over, getting tangled in sleeves and putting things on inside out to be mischievous.

Ryan shouts back, "Where are we going next?" He always forgets.

From underneath a t-shirt and a semi-wet towel, Travis says, "I dunno, Florida? California? Just follow Pete, he always knows where we're goin." He flips open his phone, hits the first number on speed dial and tries to speak quietly. "Yo, Bill, where we headed?"

-

"Ungh," Bill moans, falling face first in the pillows. "I love real beds." He smoothes out the blanket beneath him and smiles. "I love hotels. I love Pete Wentz. I love you guys!"

"Yeah, yeah," Mike scowls, "what's the plan?"

"The plan is," Tom chimes in, tossing his bag onto the other bed and changing his shoes. "We'll be back at three, which gives you plenty of time. Don't ask what we're gonna be doing," he holds up his hands in protest as William opens his mouth to speak, "and we won't ask what you're gonna be doing."

"And put some clothes on before we come back, man," Sisky whines. "I see enough of your white ass every day of my life, okay?"

Bill gives him an enthusiastic thumbs up and shouts a muffled, "Good man! Good men!" as the door opens and they start filing out.

The Butcher's the last one to leave, but he sticks around for a little bit. "Hey Bill," he whispers, letting the door close so he can talk a little louder. "You guys are really cute, you know that? Just generally." He shrugs and opens the door to leave. William just smiles. "It's nice to see you so happy."

-

"Travie!" Gabe calls out from the stairs. He tells the two girls hanging all over him to wait a moment and tosses a key card to Travis. "Sisky couldn't find you."

Travis pockets the key nonchalantly then raises an eyebrow at the stairs. "Man are you ever gonna stop hookin up with groupies?"

Gabe laughs, runs his fingers through his hair and considers it. "You know, I think I will. Some day, I mean, when it gets too daunting, I'll just decide it isn't for me anymore." He shrugs, kicks his toe against the carpet and smirks. "What, do you think I can do it?"

"Can robots cry?" Travis asks, a slight chuckle caught in his throat. He starts to walk backwards toward the elevator before he bursts out into laughter in Gabe's face.

Gabe scoffs, narrowing his eyes. "One day, Travis McCoy! One day, robots will cry!"

-

William throws his shirt to the corner of the room and helps Travis unbutton his. "Why do you have to have buttons?" he asks, pouting.

"Don't as useless questions," Travis replies, unbuttoning faster than Bill's ever seen anyone do. "Why do you have such pale skin? Useless question but, boy, you need a tan."

"Shut up," William sighs, kissing Travis on the neck, the shoulder, anywhere he can get him, really. "The Butcher says we're cute together."

"Mm, that's cause we are cute together." He falls back on the bed and grins, wide and toothy, pulls Bill down by his belt buckle.

William frowns, lays down on Travis's chest and sighs loudly. "I'm gonna miss you when we go home."

Travis sits up, scoots William over a little and makes a face somewhere between a frown and a kind smile. "C'mere," he pulls Bill onto his lap and kisses him, tugs on his hair until William's lips curve into an annoyed little smirk. "Home aint home no more, baby boy. Home is where your feet are, where your heart is or some shit like that."

Bill smiles for real this time, leans down and kisses Travis again, bites down on his bottom lip with crooked teeth and whispers, "Tell me you love me."

"I love you, I love you," he complies. "Now let's never speak of this again."

Bill giggles, wraps his arms around Travis's shoulders and says, "Kiss me again?"

"What do you think I'm tryin to do?" Travie sighs in between quick kisses against William's neck. "Your dumb ass keeps talkin."

-

"I don't think this is sanitary," Patrick points out, shifting awkwardly on his feet.

"Don't worry about that," Gabe shouts, "just get down here!"

"Hmm, I'd rather not."

He watches everyone, arms spread out against the road, all of them pressing wet kisses against decades of tire tracks and oil leaks and roadkill. Pete smacks his lips against the road and laughs, William's cuddling with a patch of dirty gravel.

"You're all gonna get sick, I can see it now." He turns to head back to the van but Pete's voice stops him.

"We'll be home in a few hours and then we can all sleep in our beds and take real showers, eat proper food and get tetanus shots, alright?" he says with an air of arrogance, which Patrick knows is really intelligence. "But for now, this is the last we'll ever see of our lives of freedom." Pete smiles simply, but kindly, and half shrugs. "It's a new tradition, it won't be right if you don't partake in it."

"I don't know," Patrick breathes, skeptically surveying the ground.

William stops making out with the empty street long enough to say, "Patrick Stump, get your ass down here and hug the road."

Beside him, Travis chimes in with the ever helpful, "Kiss the mu'fuckin concrete."

Patrick sighs and lays face down beside a grinning Pete. He thinks, and says, "If I die, I want you all to kill yourselves to avenge me."

--

no capitals ever!

i thought it'd be nice to write some random but sequential moments on tour that go along with seven weeks. i think this did my vision justice. sorry i'm so horrid at writing fall out boy, i'm only good with the tai / gabe / travis type stories, maybe panic, maybe, but at least i am branching out! i hope the insane amount of treckett made up for the equally insane amount of pete being annoying.

i skipped chicago, boston and colorado, oops.

also, the guys making different whipping noises is from friends and chandler's ridiculous whoop-ah-ing.

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 09:14:49 GMT

the academy is; rise of the fall tour series, 2005
a decade under the influence (6/10)
mike / william, 2441 words

-- sad, small, sure in porcelain, you're skin and bones, i'm a nervous wreck; i got a bad feeling about this (i'm coming over but it never was enough, i thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you)

William is nowhere to be found.

Mike is in the middle of a half-hearted attempt at a discussion about who shot first: Greedo or Han. Nick says Greedo, Chad insists it was Han and Mike really couldn't care less. They have this same conversation every time they get together and they never agree. William always says they shot at the first time but Han's reflexes were quicker and that usually settles things. Without him here to head things off, it will turn into a full fledged argument during which Mike will just get up and walk away. When Chad and Nick start arguing, especially when they start arguing about Star Wars, it's just best to flee the scene.

The party started about an hour ago when Tony decided to call everyone he knew in new york and take advantage of the venue's fully stocked bar. William has entertained everyone for a while before circling back to Mike, whispering that he'd be back in a few minutes, and disappearing out of the room. It had been more than just a few minutes and still, William didn't return.

Mike only knows a handful of people here, but he does his usual best at making small talk. It's easier with Bill around-- he's the natural sweet talker, takes the reins in most conversations and he has this way of draping his arm around Mike's shoulders, elegant and nonchalant and making him feel less out of place.

Now, engaged in idle talk with Tony and the Butcher, Mike is still scouring the crowd for a glimpse of William.

It usually doesn't bother him, when William disappears like this. Bill is prone to wandering, so is Mike, but they always find each other eventually. Mike starts to get restless, starts to get nervous, when William is missing for too long. He starts to have insane thoughts about him being kidnapped and held for ransom in exchange for Pete, or waking up in bathtubs with his kidney missing. It's the sort of thing William would get himself into, really, the sort of thing he needs Mike around to make sure doesn't happen.

Tom, Mike notices, is also nowhere to be found.

Tom's whereabouts wouldn't normally bother Mike too much, but Danielle is sitting pretty on the couch against the wall with her legs over Casey and a plastic cup of beer in her hands, and if he isn't with Danielle, but he isn't in the room, well, Mike can only draw one conclusion.

It shouldn't bother him if William and Tom are together right now, it shouldn't. He doesn't mind when Bill and Sisky vanish into the night to lay in the middle of the street and almost get hit by cars, or when Bill and the Butcher lose themselves in fields and small forested areas to climb trees and so Andy can draw the grass. But it's different with Tom.

It's different because Tom has entire rolls of film dedicated to William, to the delicate bones in his wrists and the lines of his jaw, to the curve of his lips just when he starts to smile. It's different because Tom pays attention to every little thing William does, as if he's cataloguing the details of Bill's life for a biography. It's different because Tom thinks of William as something perfect and precious, something small and fragile, porcelain. Mike knows that's only half of what he is, that he can be bold and unbearably difficult to get along with too.

Tom thinks of William as a blank canvas but Mike knows every inch of him has been filled with something wild and exciting; not perfect, not nearly perfect, but a good attempt to pretend. It's different because Tom puts all these ideas, all these insane notions into William's head that he's something he's not, that he's this supreme being.

Mike knows better. Mike knows that William is just William; just silly, adorable, unbearable William. He is not a perfect being, he is just a boy. Arriving at that fact is where Tom and Mike differ, because Tom thinks William simply has to be special, and Mike knows that he is special, just by being himself.

-

When he finally does show up, holding his jacket tight around him because he's not wearing anything under it and he was clearly outside freezing his ass off, Mike is not at all surprised to see Tom a few steps behind him, but he is a bit annoyed. Tom joins Danielle on the couch, scoots in between her and Casey and hugs her to get warm again. He smiles all nonchalant and casual, immediately joining in on jokes, all pleased with himself.

William makes a beeline straight to Mike, leans in and whispers in his ear, "We need to talk," and in true Mike and William style, it takes them less than a minute to find an empty room a few doors down. William opens the window and sits on the window cill while Mike turns the lock in the door, which doesn't really work, and raises an eyebrow.

"I think it's about time we sat everyone down and told them about us," William suggests suddenly, and Mike is halfway through processing this when William starts talking again. "I mean, everyone already knows, we can just confirm it."

"I-- what? no," Mike shakes his head and laughs a little nervously. "No one knows, Bill."

"Sisky knows and the Butcher knows, and you told Lucas--"

"You told Courtney!" Mike runs his fingers through his hair and sighs heavily. They've been over this a million times. They've been over this and they always come to the same conclusion: they keep it a secret. It's just better being left alone, it's not broken so they really shouldn't try fixing it. It's better this way, when it's just the two of them, no one to intrude. Mike would hate it if they became like Gabe and Bianca, Pete and Jeanae, or Pete and Morgan, whoever Pete is with these days. He doesn't want to be the talk of the town, doesn't want their friends smiling to their faces and whispering behind their backs.

William shrugs his shoulders, and Mike shuffles his feet, not really knowing where to take this conversation. Bill looks up at him, standing against the door looking incredulous. Mike knows that there's nothing William wants more than to tell all their friends, let them in on the tumultuous two years of romance, but he has to be the practical one in these situations. It's just a bad idea, it's always such a bad idea.

The thing is, it's not a big deal keeping it a secret. Sisky and the Butcher knowing, that's one thing. Mike and William can trust them not to say a word, and they haven't. Adam's known the longest due to his penchant for bringing people pizza without calling first, and the Butcher found out on one of their rare days off while sketching a landscape-- Mike and William had snuck off to hide in tall grass and the shadow of towering trees. William pretended they were in the Forbidden Forest at Hogwarts, running from a vicious herd of acromantula and Mike had just taken advantage of his distraction to attack him with kisses.

Naturally, William felt it was necessary to tell his sister, so Mike felt it okay to tell his brother. But that was as far as it had gone.

"Tom saw us," is all that William says, and it's enough that Mike is momentarily speechless.

He scoffs under his breath, closes his eyes for a second to think of a plan of action, and chooses his next words very carefully. He says, "Fuck."

"That's the whole band, Mike, and I've been wanting to tell Travis for a while now, I mean the shit the two of us have been through together and he's never kept a thing from me-- it would be nice not to hide it from Gabe, either, I think he already suspects something but knowing Gabe it's probably something insane, he probably thinks I'm as adept in the art of pursuing groupies as he is, and I'd really like it if he didn't think that way about me, I mean, I may look up to Adam Lazzara and all but I don't necessarily want to share his reputation, charming as it may be to be thought of of the resident--"

"Bill," Mike interrupts him, "shut up. First of all, we are not telling Gabe because if we tell Gabe, Gabe tells Pete and if Gabe tells Pete, we might as well write it in big letters in the sky, and second, you're rambling. You're not even breathing, you really-- really need to get a grip right now."

William scoffs and starts to pace the room, glaring contemptuously at Mike. "Well, sorry," he mutters, not sounding sorry at all. "It's just what I do, okay, I ramble myself into stupidity and you stutter yourself into silence and then we're stambling and ruttering and nothing ever gets done!" He throws his arms up in defeat and sits down, slumped against the wall, his head in his hands.

For a minute, Mike does nothing but stare at him. William always was one for over-dramatics, but this is just ridiculous.

Mike continues where Bill left off pacing, and sighs, the room heavy with unbearable tension. The sounds from the party have made their way into the room through the cracks in the door and the thin walls. Mike can hear a song change, can hear unintelligible shouting and laughter, and he thinks, just down the hall, everyone is happy and in here, he and William are silently deciding their fate.

And to think, this day started off so well, with all the guys up early for breakfast, they left Mike and William with hours of alone time in the van-- probably at Sisky's subtle insistence since he knew that the last time they were really alone was on their anniversary, and that was weeks ago. Since then, all of their moments together had been rushed and too brief; all quick kisses and touches that weren't allowed to linger very long. They stayed in the back in the van until Sisky came back to warn them that everyone was on their way, just lying together, no rush, no worry, just the two of them.

William breaks their silence in the quietist, but bravest voice he can muster. "Tom thinks we should tell everyone."

Mike stops pacing long enough to stare incredulously at him and scoffs, "Oh, right, then that's exactly what we should do-- you know, since Tom says it's a good idea. So that's what you girls were talking about outside while you left me with Chad and Nick and their fucking Star Wars banter." William stands up, looks a little startled and a bit annoyed, but Mike doesn't care at this point. Bill knows what a sore subject Tom has always been, now even more so that he's prying at the two of them and making unhelpful suggestions. "Tom isn't in this relationship, Bill."

"But I am," William whispers in the same meek little voice. He saunters over to Mike and leans down just enough that their noses touch, wraps his arms around Mike's shoulders and frowns. "I am, and I think we should tell everyone, I think we owe it to ourselves, after so long."

Mike's thought about it, he has, but his answer is always the same. "I don't think we should," he maintains, and before William can respond, he says, "What do you do when you find out that Pete and Jeanae have broken up again?"

William shrugs, unaware of how this is relevant. "I dunno, tell Pete he's an idiot and he should apologize, I mean it usually is his fault."

"Exactly," Mmike whispers. "I don't want that to happen to us. When we get into a fight, when we break up because I ate all the ice cream, when we fuck up, nobody tells us how to fix it. Nobody tells us what we're doing wrong, nobody tells us we're idiots or how to apologize, and I like that. Our mistakes are ours and I don't want that to change, I don't want Tom telling us what we should do, it's not him that it affects. Our friends have a habit of intruding and inserting their opinions where they don't belong, and I don't want that for us. I don't want to date twenty-five people, I only want it to be me and you, kid."

William blushes slightly, kisses Mike softly on the mouth, but he believes in his argument too much to stop talking altogether. "What about the good stuff, though?" He smiles broadly, taking Mike's hands in his, their fingers automatically entwining. "What about all the amazing things you do for me, I can't tell anyone about them. Nobody knows," he sighs, kissing Mike again. "Nobody knows how much I love you."

It's not an argument he likes to have, but it is a necessary one. Mike knows that it hurts more than William says it does not to be able to shout it from rooftops that they're together, it's the sacrifice they make to keep it quiet, to stay together and untouched.

"I know," Mike says, finally, "and you know. Isn't that enough?" William simply shakes his head, so Mike asks, "What do you want to do?" but somehow, he already knows the answer.

There are a few moments of silence, a few moments where their hands still touch, William's palms warm and sweaty, the way they get when he's nervous, a few moments where Mike can feel William's eyelashes fluttering against his skin. "I'm going back outside," William finally manages to say, "You-- you keep your secret."

He doesn't let Mike say anything, just kisses him quickly and walks away, his fingers slipping away from Mike's as he does.

And to think, this day started off so well.

--

usually i write in third-person limited omniscient and alternate who the focus is on. it started with william, then mike, william, mike, tom, and this one is mike again. the next one was going to be william but because i rearranged the storyline a little bit it will be mike again. i don't know why this is really all that relevant, but it is to me! just know that the next two parts will be very-- hmm, how do i put this lightly?-- RIDICULOUSLY EMOTIONAL!! the fact that i couldn't bring myself to write the original part six should be a testament to just how much i wanted to delay the suffering.

there is another typhoon in china which means i didn't have work today but sadly that will not remedy the fact that my fingers are too tired to stretch all the way to the shift button, so no capitals ever.

pictures (taken before william's disappearance) from vipes on photobucket